Zazajb's mad world

Title: Twos and Blues: 31/? 
Author: zazajb
Rating: R - N/C-17 overall, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, [past]Jack/John, Tosh/Owen, Gwen/Rhys, Andy, Gareth, Harris, Nick/Pete, Mica, Rhiannion, Sue
Spoilers – none – totally AU

Summary:  Jack is the Station Commander of a retained* fire station. This is the story of their adventures. Words:  this chapter 3000

Previous chapters: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters – anything you recognise is owned by RTD & BBC, even if they don’t know how to look after them properly...
With thanks to the wonderful fjorda77 for the awesome banner *hugs*

A/N So, I’ve finally gone completely AU...new departure for me – thank you for all the comments so far...and please excuse the liberties I’m taking with Welsh geography! Updates will now be posted to both LJ and DW

A/N1 *Retained stations are crewed by part-time firefighters who live and work locally, responding to a bleeper signal when the fire appliance is needed – in all other respects they are the same as whole-time firefighters... SWFRS= South Wales Fire and Rescue Service PDA= pre-determined attendance [the minimum number of appliances sent to a particular premises no matter what the call]

A/N2 For lovers everywhere... Xxx

Cross posted so you might get this more than once – sorry!

Title: Twos and Blues: 23/? 
Author: zazajb
Rating: R - N/C-17 overall, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, [past]Jack/John, Tosh/Owen, Gwen/Rhys, Andy, Gareth, Harris, Nick, Pete, Mica, Rhiannion
Spoilers – none – totally AU

Warnings: angst amongst the smut/fluff!
Summary:  Jack is the Station Commander of a retained* fire station. This is the story of their adventures. Words:  this chapter 4160

Previous chapters: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters – anything you recognise is owned by RTD & BBC, even if they don’t know how to look after them properly...
With thanks to the wonderful fjorda77 for the awesome banner *hugs*

A/N So, I’ve finally gone completely AU...new departure for me – thank you for all the comments so far...and please excuse the liberties I’m taking with Welsh geography! Updates will now be posted to both LJ and DW

A/N1 Retained stations are crewed by part-time firefighters who live and work locally, responding to a bleeper signal when the fire appliance is needed – in all other respects they are the same as whole-time firefighters... SWFRS= South Wales Fire and Rescue Service PDA= pre-determined attendance [the minimum number of appliances sent to a particular premises no matter what the call]

A/N2  So, NY was amazing and I loved it... xxx

Cross posted so you might get this more than once – sorry!

Twos and Blues 23/?

Title: Hidden away
Author: zazajb
Rating: R, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto
Spoilers : Set in the days after KKBB
Summary: Jack and Ianto’s thoughts after Jack’s return... Words 2150

Warnings: angst, mentions of character death

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, anything you recognise is owned by RTD &BBC – I just get to dabble with them from time to time. I don’t own the song or JG either!
A/N Inspired by the gorgeous song of the same name, sung by the awesome Josh Groban http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcu24OKZNIo

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & TW_classic , tw_proper [apologies to those getting this multiple times]

AN: Dedicated to my wonderful friends – with sincere thanks for all the birthday wishes, dedicated fic, cards, PMs, virtual gifts, e-cards and tweets – love you all...and this story is for you... xxx

Hidden away

Ianto stared out into the dark, silent tears trickling down his cheeks as he gazed at the motionless silhouette of his Captain on the edge of the roof, the only movement from the billowing of his coat in the stiff breeze...

Jack had been back a week, sliding straight back into leader-mode and aside from the whole “I came back for you...” and the hesitant and endearingly uncertain request for a date, they’d been as far apart as they’d been when Jack was away...wherever he’d been...

Those three months had been hell - time had ground to a halt, the world existed only in shades of grey...all things bright and vibrant extinguished with the vanishing of the police box on that awful day...That day when he’d gone from broken to euphoric...and back to broken within the space of a few short hours... His fragile heart had been shattered into a million pieces as he’d watched Jack, radiating that jaw-droppingly beautiful grin of his, disappear from reality – taking all of Ianto’s freshly kiss-awakened hopes and dreams with him...come back to me Jack...please... He’d whispered those words into the darkness every night...to no avail...

Now Jack was back...and further away than ever before, his smile no longer reached his eyes and so many times he’d opened his mouth to say something but when no words had appeared he’d visibly trembled, grabbed his coat and disappeared out of the roller door, not returning for hours. Tonight Ianto had decided to follow him after fruitless nights waiting for him to return in the hope that they’d be able to say more than three words to each other...

He’d not been surprised to see Jack heading for his favourite rooftop but was unprepared for the sound of muffled sobs floating back. He knew Jack was hurting, they both were, but this was heartbreaking....

He’d imagined their reunion so many times, so many lonely nights curled up in Jack’s bunker...so many different ways, but this scenario had never occurred to him – granted, most of them had involved lots of kissing and satisfying sex...however, this broken and unreachable Jack was a far cry from any romantic notions he’d had of his Captain stood under an azure alien sky, arms spread wide as he grinned broadly and enjoyed adventure after adventure before coming home triumphant to share his stories...over mountains and sky blue seas...on great circles will you watch for me...

He’d had high hopes when Jack had met his gaze, his “I came back for you...” sending the butterflies that had invaded his stomach into raptures...the sweetest feeling I’ve got inside...I just can’t wait to get lost in your eyes... the angry glares from the others dragging a hastily amended “all of you...” and the butterflies had crash landed, leaving a bitter taste as hurt forced him to look away.

Fresh tears burnt a trail down the Welshman’s face as Jack’s shoulders shook and he caught the faint anguished whisper of his own name...and all these words that you meant to say...

Every day since, they’d watched each other, neither daring to make the first move for fear of rejection, the anguish carefully concealed behind Jack’s classic 1940’s attire and Ianto’s pristine wool-blend pinstripes, purple Swiss cotton shirts and red silk ties; exquisite coffee and murmured Sir’s...held in silence day after day...as each broke a little more...

Ianto had stayed later and later at the hub after the others had gone home, hoping...talk to me Jack...hopes rising when Jack’s trembling hand had reached out, only to be withdrawn as the Captain had failed yet again to produce any sound from his open mouth and had run away once more...words of kindness that our poor hearts crave...

Ianto had been left alone again, tears filling his eyes as he gazed at the space where Jack had been moments earlier...please don’t keep them hidden away...

A strangled sob escaped and he ducked back into the shadows as Jack froze before turning... “Ianto..?” his voice shook... “Ianto..? please...”  

Steeling himself, Ianto stepped out into the open, his breath catching in his throat as Jack’s tear stained face took on a look that was both heart wrenchingly fragile yet hungry and hopeful at the same time.

“Jack...I...I...” he faltered, not knowing where to begin or even if he had the words to say what he felt...sing it out – so I can finally breathe in...I can take in all you say... He bit down on his bottom lip...time to risk all the strength he had left...and opened his arms...

Moments later he had an armful of sobbing Captain as Jack’s lips crashed onto his and he found himself drowning in the achingly familiar intoxicating scent that was Jack as their tongues reacquainted themselves with the taste of the other before roaming freely to map every contour of each other’s mouths, the kiss hot and messy now as hands tugged bodies closer and they lost themselves to frantic desire.

They broke apart reluctantly, only when oxygen replenishment became essential for the continuance of life, arms wrapped possessively around each other as they panted heavily, lips just millimetres apart... Ianto let out a shaky breath and a tentative chuckle as Jack’s arms tightened around him and he felt his lips hot against his ear, “stay...”

Ianto moved a hand to caress the older man’s cheek gently, brushing the still damp tear tracks away with his thumb, “now I’ve got you, Jack, I’m not going anywhere...” holding out for something I believe in...as he claimed his Captain’s mouth once more...all I really need today...this kiss soft and tender as he revelled in the feel of Jack’s lips under his own and the heavy warmth of their bodies pressed close, ardent arousal evident and sending hot sparks of flame through them as they squirmed and ground hips together in an attempt to gain some friction from the woefully inadequate confines of their trousers...

This time when they came up for air, Jack took Ianto’s hand and led him wordlessly away from the roof, back to the hub and down the ladder. Their eyes met as they faced each other, Ianto’s clear blue depths blazing with a love that brought fresh tears to Jack’s own blue grey pools...I want to free your heart...

Trembling hands reached for each other’s clothes, removing each layer carefully until they stood naked. This time Jack opened his arms and Ianto fell into them, moaning into his Captain’s mouth as their lips met and he was kissed senseless, his hands tangling one into Jack’s hair and the other pressing into the small of his back to keep him close...

They staggered backwards until their legs hit the edge of Jack’s tiny bunk and they tumbled onto it... Ianto tore his mouth from Jack’s to attack his neck, sucking at the soft skin behind his ear, Jack’s low moan and the shudder that rattled through him bringing the Welshman to an abrupt halt, “Jack..? You want me to stop..?”

He looked up to see fresh tears gleaming as Jack shook his head, the look pleading... “Wherever you went, it was bad...you were hurt...” It wasn’t a question but Jack’s tiny whispered “yes...” and the haunted look in his eyes broke Ianto’s heart that tiny bit more and he reached down to entwine their hands, “I’m here cariad, and I’ll stop any time...just say...talk to me, Jack...I want to see your heart...please don’t keep your heart hidden away...

Jack’s eyes closed as Ianto’s lips continued down his neck and across his throat, lapping lightly in the hollow at the base before moving back up the other side to claim his lips in a searing kiss as Jack arched against him...

Jack trembled and quivered, aching with desire and when Ianto finally made love to him, he felt complete again...wave upon wave of pure bliss that rolled through his body as sensation after sensation swept him away to float amongst the stars and the tortures of the past year receded... Captivated by Ianto’s delicious kisses they slipped into sated sleep, limbs wrapped around each other, pressed close together in the limited space as Ianto kept him safe...

Jack awoke with a jump as the Master’s footsteps sounded outside in the corridor and he suppressed a whimper as he blinked in the darkness and breathed in the reassuring scent of the Welshman who lay warm in his arms, allowing the familiar aroma to ground and calm him from his nightmare.

Carefully he propped himself up on his elbow to gaze down at the man who’d kept him fighting that long year...you’re a wonder...how bright you shine...the man he’d come back for but hadn’t told, terrified that he’d scare the young man away...terrified that admitting how he felt left him vulnerable – he hadn’t let anyone into his heart for so very long now...his protection from the inevitable pain when they died and left him alone once again...a flickered candle in a short lifetime...

But he loved him, he knew that now... Jack’s hand trembled as he ran his fingers softly across Ianto’s shoulder, following the lines of his body down the side of his toned downy hair-covered chest to his waist and the gentle curve of his hip, stilling his hand as the Welshman shifted minutely, leaning into the touch…secret dreamer that never shows…

He’d watched the young man closely these past days and he’d seen the hurt that he’d concealed behind that perfect exterior, knowing that he was the cause of that pain...if no-one sees you then nobody knows... Ianto had kept him alive – his soul alive - every time the Master had sent his body into the darkness, Ianto had been a beacon of pure light, of hope and love...something to cling on to and he needed to tell him...and all these words you were meant to say...

They needed to talk...held in silence day after day... He owed it to Ianto...he wanted so much more than before, all those things he’d run from before he’d vanished with the Doctor...words of kindness that our poor hearts crave... He wanted to be with this amazing Welshman for as long as he had...please don’t keep them hidden away...

“Jack...it’s rude to stare!” Ianto’s amused voice cut into his musings and a smile curved the corners of that soft and sensual mouth as his eyes met the Welshman’s.

“Tell him!” a voice in the back of his head chided gently...sing it out, so I can finally breathe in...I can take in all you say...

Ignoring the voice, he leant down to press a tender kiss to that gorgeous mouth “So, Ianto…you up for round two…?” the hoarse whisper sent shivers down the young man’s body and he moaned as a gentle hand reached out to cup his face and tug him back into another soft kiss…a kiss that grew in intensity as Jack’s tongue mapped the inside of the Welshman’s mouth and the other hand sought a different, much lower, area of his body…reaching out for someone I believe in...

Giving himself totally to the glorious sensations raging through him, Ianto melted into the embrace, kissing back fiercely as their bodies arched together and he lost himself in everything that was just Jack…all I really need today...I want to feel your love...

Somewhere, deep within the burning passion and searing kisses, Ianto knew his heart was lost…given freely to this complex and larger-than-life man who carried so much pain and responsibility on his shoulders… will you reveal your love...

He moaned as Jack kissed him into oblivion, caressing, teasing...please don’t keep your love...hidden away...every touch like fire on heated skin until they were joined completely and they exploded into blissful ecstasy…

Lost in a pleasurable warm and tingling afterglow, his eyelids fluttering closed Ianto was startled to feel Jack’s lips press lightly against his own before the whispered “I love you, Ianto...I’ll never leave you again...” I want to free your heart...

Blue grey depths that radiated with emotion met clear blue pools...I want to see your heart... “Love you too, Jack...and I’m glad you’re back...” Please don’t keep your heart...hidden away...

End

AN1: Please bear with me these next few weeks – I’m exam marking at the moment and it is a vicious beast which consumes my every waking hour outside of work... This means I’m behind on my reading [I’ll catch up eventually!] and my writing – there is another Captain Coat and Coffee Man in progress, plus several more planned, as well as an AU... Believe me when I say the withdrawal symptoms from LJ will have me climbing the walls before I’m done! So...I’ll be scarce for about 3 weeks – and then beware as I’ll be driving you all mad and you’ll be sick of me!!!

Title: Don’t tell me it’s too late...
Author: zazajb
Rating: R, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, team
Spoilers : Set during and after KKBB
Summary: Jack’s back and struggling to find the words to talk to Ianto about their relationship... Words 3150

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time, neither do I own the song or singer.
A/N Inspired by the gorgeous song by Josh Groban http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FPA8DHdia8

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & TW_classic , tw_proper, jantosparkle, theijs [apologies to those getting this multiple times]

A/N1 This has been crashing around in my head for days and was getting in the way of everything else so I gave in and pinned it to the keyboard! Hope you enjoy.

Don’t tell me that it’s too late...

Jack was back. That familiar grin, the coat and those bloody 51^st Century pheromones... Ianto knew he was gaping and there was nothing he could do to stop himself. But the thing he hated most of all was knowing that despite being totally pissed at the way he’d just left them....left him after kissing him like that – now that was more than a part-time shag kiss – he still wanted to fling himself into his Captain’s arms and snog his face off...shit!

Their eyes met and he caught a myriad of emotions lurking within those blue grey depths – pain, grief, guilt, relief and delight all fighting for dominance. He bit his lip and dropped his gaze, feeling the other man’s eyes lingering...burning into the back of his skull as he turned away, biting down hard on his bottom lip. He ignored his increased heart rate and the butterflies that had suddenly invaded his stomach and concentrated on the clear up required at the scene. By the time the room had been cleared of dead Blowfish, the curtains sponged clean of splattered Blowfish brains and the family treated for shock, gunshot wounds and then retconned, it was late and he was knackered.

The drive back to the hub was made in uneasy silence, each of the team lost in their own thoughts, assessing their own reactions to the return of their erstwhile dynamic leader. It wasn’t until they fell into their familiar, sans Jack, routine that the emotions churning under the surface burst through when Jack chanced a light-hearted remark about coping without him and he got it...both barrels!

“You left us, Jack – we knew nothing...” Gwen shoved at his chest.

“I know...I’m sorry”

“Where did you go?”

A flicker of a smile crossed his face and the warmth in his eyes tore at Ianto’s heart, the knife twisting in his gut at his words, “I found my Doctor...”

“Did he fix you?” Owen was snarky.

“What’s to fix? You don’t mess with this level of perfection!” the typical Jack response accompanied the trademark Harkness grin, but the smile never reached his eyes Ianto noticed, shadows lurking behind the facade...

“You’ll go back to him...” the words were out of Ianto’s mouth before he realised he’d spoken aloud.

Hurt flashed across that handsome face, “I came back for you...” he looked into Ianto’s eyes, reading suspicion and uncertainty before the Welshman dropped his gaze. Jack gulped. “All of you,” he amended hastily as he noticed the hostile looks from the others...

They’d had no time to ponder on anything Jack had said – or not said – as Captain John Hart was upon them with his swagger and sarcasm, paralysing lip gloss and slightly smaller wrist strap which he over compensated for with a vastly larger ego. Ianto hated him on sight, even more so when he learned of the past relationship with their Captain.

“We were partners...”

“In what way?”

“In every way...”

He cursed under his breath realising that this psychopath with his chiselled cheekbones and quick wit was an ex-lover and judging by the looks he was giving Jack, he was all for renewing that intimacy. Could the day get any better? Apparently so, because after the surprise of an uncertain and quite endearingly hesitant Jack asking him out on a date as they searched an office for Captain-bloody-Hart’s elusive cluster bombs, he found himself with a new nickname and a face full of Hart’s gun. Cursing himself for being caught out so easily, he surrendered his own weapon and raced to find the others when Hart forced him into the elevator with a promise to shoot on sight if he returned.

It was some comfort to discover that the team, though beaten, bloody and poisoned, were alive. Jack, after another death courtesy of a shove off the roof by a bitter and rejected Hart, was able to stun his ruthless and murderous ex-partner into finally telling the truth and with much high drama, handcuffs and a last minute dash with some innovative quick thinking by Owen, Captain John Hart was sent back from whence he came and now they all had to avoid themselves for twenty four hours...bloody fantastic!

In the two weeks that had passed since that day, Jack had resumed his leadership, in some respects almost as if he’d never left...save one... Although he’d asked Ianto out on a date, nothing more had been mentioned and Jack had been distant with him ever since. He missed the intimacy they’d had before Jack had left with the Doctor and despite the hurt, he couldn’t help but long for the days when they’d share a coffee after the others had gone, share stolen kisses around the hub and long passionate love-making down in Jack’s bunk...in the hot house...in the archives...in Jack’s office...

His hands followed their well practiced and familiar routine as he sorted out the last afternoon coffee round with the images from a particularly hot session filling his mind as he was pressed up against the kitchen door whilst the others were at their desks. It had been a near miss with that weevil, the scrape down the side of his neck a testament to that fact and Jack had been in his arms, kissing him with an urgency and passion that had them both fighting back the tears as the realisation of just how close that had been...

He bit back a sob. He’d give anything for a moment like that now. Jack was back, but he was a hollow empty shell of the man he’d been before he went away...broken and Ianto didn’t know how to reach him. A lone tear escaped and he brushed it aside impatiently, concentrating on making Jack’s favourite blend...

In his office, Jack watched his Welshman on the CCTV and once again the pang of longing was enough to make him wince. He reached a trembling finger out to stroke the image on the screen. There was so much he wanted to say to him, the need to wrap him into his arms and kiss him into the next universe was a constant physical ache but after the incident with Hart he didn’t know where to start. Every day he resolved that this was the day he said something, anything to get Ianto back, even if it was only for friendship...he missed their easy banter and those quiet coffees at the start and end of the day, missed the sparkle in those blue eyes as they teased him and the warmth of his body pressed close as they snuggled in his tiny bunk after a mind blowing session of hot lovemaking.

He closed his eyes and imagined himself tugging the young man onto his lap when he delivered his coffee, planned the words he was going to say for all the times I tried for this...and every chance at you I missed... How to explain why he’d gone I’ve been known to go my way... How to say that only the thought of Ianto had kept him fighting on the Valiant...but I confess, it made me miss you more... Oh, the bitter irony – all that time denying his feelings...I drew my line across the sand refusing to admit that he loved this wonderful Welshman...he didn’t do love, not for so very long now...it’s better that way...and set my flag in no-man’s land...

Finding himself alone and shackled in that grimy boiler room his thoughts returned time and time again to that face, that cute button nose, deliciously pink lips and those gorgeous Welsh vowels. He’d meant that kiss, then he’d left him behind, only to find a piece of his soul missing - this quiet and unassuming young man had ducked all his barricades to settle firmly in his heart and the image of him smiling had burned brightly with every death and agonising return to life. How naive he’d been to assume that they could just resume on his return...but here I am, the one-man-band, with a song that’s meant for two...

The sight of his Welshman wiping away a tear filled him with both hope and guilt...hope that Ianto was hurting as much as he was because he wanted more than the stilted working relationship they had at present and then the heavy burden of guilt knowing that he’d caused the hurt in the first place. He shifted miserably in his chair. This had to stop – he needed to know for both their sakes. He watched as Ianto loaded the tray with mugs and what looked like chocolate brownie, his favourite...all those little ways Ianto was reaching out to him and he’d not noticed, so busy looking at the big picture he’d missed the important things, but now he could see clearly...and there is a light from a higher window shining down on you tonight...

Ianto was now in the main hub, handing coffee and cake round to the others. Jack snapped off the CCTV and tugged a file towards him in an attempt to look busy when the young man arrived, in reality staring unseeingly at the sheets in front of him, his attention fixed on the door and the sure certainty that he was going to put things right between them. He ached to hold him, to kiss those soft and sensual lips and run his fingers through his hair...

He heard the measured steps approaching and held his breath. Ianto tapped lightly on the door and came in. “Coffee, sir...” those Welsh vowels caressed his ears and sent a surge of heat to his groin. He looked up into the younger man’s eyes, saddened to see the usually sparking blue dulled with pain. He reached his hand out, only to have his coffee placed carefully into it. Their fingers brushed briefly and he felt the tingle of electricity at the skin to skin contact, his breath hitching as he looked to see if Ianto had felt it too. The spark in those gorgeous blue depths urged him on as he used his other hand to plonk the mug on the desk whilst retaining hold of Ianto’s hand.

“Jack...I...”

“Ianto...I...” they both spoke at the same time, both faltering and looking away.

Ianto bit his lip anxiously, the action sending a stab of fear through the older man and he tightened his grip on Ianto’s captive hand, tugging him closer. “Ianto...I’m...fuck!” Jack swore, sounding more like Owen than himself, as the rift alarm blared out and Ianto pulled his hand away, retreating down to Tosh’s workstation. Jack cursed expressively under his breath and kicked his desk as he followed in the Welshman’s wake.

“What is it Tosh?” he snapped, the tone drawing raised eyebrows from the team.

“Hoix at Cardiff Central station, causing chaos judging by the reports coming in from numerous sources...” Tosh looked searchingly at him, “we can handle it if you want..?” she let the question hang, gently reminding him they were no longer the innocents he’d left behind.

“No, thanks, Tosh...sorry...I was just in the middle of something important...” his eyes flickered towards Ianto who was moving towards the coat stand, “I shouldn’t have snapped at you. We’ll all go...” at least he could keep his Welshman close. He moved swiftly to where Ianto held his coat out as always, slipping into the heavy wool and leaning into the touch as the young man smoothed the fabric over his shoulders in that intimate and familiar way. It would be okay, this was just a temporary setback...wasn’t it?

It was gone eight o’clock by the time they’d dealt with the Hoix and retconned everyone who’d seen it – which ended up being a very large number of people as the creature had led them a merry dance across platforms and live lines, eventually being cornered in the lost luggage office after following a temping trail of sandwiches and biscuits commandeered from several different vendors. The others did their reports as quickly as possible and split, declining offers of coffee. Jack slumped in his chair as the roller door clunked into place behind them.

He rubbed his hands tiredly over his face – he might not need as much sleep as most normal people, but a year of incessant torture had left him world weary, coupled with long lonely hours on a rooftop every night since he’d been back...he closed his eyes and moments later he was asleep.

When Ianto had finally finished settling their new guest in the cells and made it to Jack’s office with the coffee it was approaching ten. He smiled softly at the sight of his sleeping Captain, picking up his greatcoat from the sofa where Jack had dropped it and draped it carefully over him. He pressed a barely-there kiss to the older man’s temple before scribbling a quick post-it and left.

Jack opened his eyes slowly, wondering why he felt so warm. He groped at his coat and sat up. A quick glance at the clock told him it was just after midnight. Damn! He shouldn’t have fallen asleep...Ianto, he needed to talk to Ianto...if it wasn’t too late... Shaking his head to clear the last vestiges of sleep, a flash of neon pink post-it caught his eye and he grabbed it off the desk. As he read it, a relieved smile spread across his face.

Sweet dreams Sir, it’s a brand new day tomorrow and the world can wait a little longer! I

Digging in his pocket he fished out his mobile and his finger hovered over #1 on speedial. He frowned and jammed the phone back into his pocket as he stood and shrugged into his coat. Moments later he was speeding to Ianto’s. Nervous adrenalin kept him moving up the stairs two at a time until he stood outside the Welshman’s front door and he hesitated before knocking, his hand hovering in mid air. What if he was asleep, or in the shower or...

As if in answer there were sounds of movement from within and he could hear the Goddess Ella’s ‘Ev’ry time you say goodbye’ wafting out into the quiet hallway...and the music floats on the breeze... Taking this as a sign he knocked softly...bringing an easier time...

The door opened slowly and Ianto gazed at him hopefully. He looked utterly beautiful – jacket off, waistcoat undone and hanging open, tie swinging loose and the top buttons of his shirt freed to reveal a tempting glimpse of soft downy hair.

Jack gulped and held out the post-it “...it’s tomorrow now...” he managed to rasp...and all of our cards are on the table...

Ianto smiled, the corners of that perfect mouth curving just a little, and stood back, leaving the invitation unspoken...tell me what you want to do...

A  step, or two, and the door closed behind him as they looked at each other. Jack opened his mouth but nothing came out, horror filling his eyes as he struggled to find the words he so desperately needed to say...just don’t tell me that it’s too late...

Ianto’s smile softened and he held out his arms, their mouths crashing together as Jack threw himself into them and wrapped his Welshman into a tight embrace...for me to love you...as they kissed hungrily, tongues tangling fiercely as each reacquainted itself with the taste of the other.

That kiss was like air to a drowning man and Jack put every feeling and emotion he’d tried to vocalise these past weeks, hands raking up and down the young man’s body...how perfect we were meant to be...each melting into the other as two parts of a puzzle...our warm and silent symmetry... As they panted and moaned and kissed, the kiss deepening with every swipe of tongue across pink and swollen lips it was like they’d never been apart...it’s times like these when all, all we need, is to be reminded...

With every moment in Ianto’s arms, every flick of his tongue and every touch of his hands the memories of that boiler room faded away...and I have flown a thousand miles, to empty room and crowded aisles...and he knew that this was where he belonged...and we went from Cathedral bells to show and tell and ‘wish you well’s... They broke apart gasping for air, Ianto burying his head into Jack’s neck as he immersed himself in the blissful sensation of everything that was just Jack. He protested faintly when Jack pulled back to look at him...and I, I still look at you...the intense gaze seeming to penetrate deep into his soul to see all that he was. “God, Ianto...” and I am blinded...Jack breathed, “you’re so fucking beautiful...” I am blinded...

A trembling hand traced the outline of Ianto’s face, ghosting over his cheekbones, his nose and his lips, Jack’s eyes devouring the sight greedily...because there is a light from a higher window... “I thought about you all the time I was away...you were the one thing that kept me going – the thought that I was coming home for you...for us...shining down on us tonight...

He pulled the young man closer, bringing their lips together tenderly, smiling into the kiss as the track changed and ‘Someone to watch over me’ began to play...and the music floats on the breeze from an easier time... Ianto moaned against Jack’s mouth as the kiss deepened and hot fingers of desire spread through him, fisting his hands into his Captain’s hair and grinding their hips together...and all of our cards are on the table...

They came up for air, breath tiny pants, hearts racing, arousals straining against the restrictions of their trousers and their eyes met...tell me what you want to do...

Ianto gasped at the raw emotion in Jack’s eyes – hunger, feral want and love burning from those blue grey pools, pressing a finger against the older man’s mouth as he opened it to speak...just don’t tell me that it’s too late now...knowing what he was going to say and suddenly finding that he didn’t need to hear it – he already knew...for me to love you...

He reached for Jack’s hand and led him to the bedroom. “Show me...” he whispered as Jack’s mouth crashed onto his and they fell on to the bed in a tangle of limbs and he was kissed into oblivion...

End

Title: These things I miss
Author: zazajb
Rating: R, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Gwen
Spoilers : set start s2/KKBB
Summary: their thoughts when apart while Jack’s with the Doctor... Words 1400

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time; I also don’t own the song or Matt Nathanson...
A/N Inspired by the song ‘Come on get higher’ sung by Matt Nathanson http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHx4BlF6V2o

This is for aviv_b  and chocolatenianto who both have birthdays this week - happy days ladies *birthday hugs*

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & tw_proper, tw_classic, jantosparkle [apologies to those getting this multiple times]

These things I miss

Ianto rubbed a weary hand over his eyes as he turned off the computer screen. Slumping back in Jack’s chair, his fingers trailed absently over the lines of the desk as he gazed into the distance. It was too quiet – the muted hum of the hub at night was a stark reminder of just how lonely this place could be. In his head he filled the vast empty space with Jack’s larger-than-life presence...I miss the sound of your voice...his infectious laugh, head thrown back, his eyes dancing with affection as he teased Owen...his crisp instructions as they planned how to take down an attacking Vilkien’thsn war party without causing a city-wide panic, those blue grey eyes crinkled in thought as he worked through the strategy...the low growl as he breathed in Ianto’s ear, telling him exactly what he was going to do as he undressed him slowly...

Another flood of memories washed over him, accompanied with a rush of hot desire that gathered uncomfortably in his trousers...there would be no mutually satisfying release of that tonight...and I miss the rush of your skin...too many endless nights alone in Jack’s bunk – how could such a tiny space seem so cold and empty...and I miss the still of the silence, as you breathe out and I breathe in... He closed his eyes and traced the outline of his lips with his finger, the images of Jack in his head as the finger trailed over his chin and down his neck, the lightest of touches... He let out a low moan...Jack... Nights spent wrapped around each other, exploring their newfound intimacy, discovering pleasures enhanced by the gradual lowering of barriers on both sides...admit it Jones...you love him...

Sighing heavily, he opened his eyes and sat up. He needed a miracle...if I could walk on water...a miracle that would bring Jack back to him...and maybe a crystal ball would be helpful...if I could tell you what’s next... Would he have done things differently – if he’d known what was coming? He pondered for all of a nano-second...no...he wouldn’t have missed the time he’d had with Jack for anything... Jack had rebuilt him...after Lisa...after the cannibals...”it’s going to be alright, Ianto...” make you believe...make you forget...

Jack was right, he’d made it better...with a tenderness that Ianto hadn’t known was there as he’d kissed his tears away and soothed his nightmares...teased away his melancholy...so come, get higher, loosen my lips... A smile curved the corners of the Welshman’s mouth as he pictured Jack dancing for him in this very office, gyrating as he stripped slowly...faith and desire in the swing of your hips... The smile broke into a grin as he recalled the rest of that night...just pull me down hard and drown me in love...

That smile stayed on his lips as he cuddled into Jack’s bunk and wrapped his arms around the pillow that still smelled faintly of the man he loved...the man he missed so very much...

 Jack took the first agonising gasp of air as he was dragged back to life. Sagging in his shackles he breathed one word...Ianto... Images of his perfect Welshman crowded his brain, the one thing that kept him fighting...Ianto bringing him coffee, that spark as their hands brushed when the mug changed ownership...those pristine pinstripes and the way they hugged his arse as he bent over some artefact in the archives...those wonderful Welsh vowels that caressed his ears as they discussed the events of the day...I miss the sound of your voice, the loudest thing in my head... God he missed him so much...

He closed his eyes as the images intensified...Ianto as he came undone as Jack kissed his way down his body, writhing from the touch of his lips and hands on his heated skin, low moans of pleasure wrapped around a stream of incoherent Welsh as they edged ever nearer to the bliss of release...and I ache to remember all the violent, sweet, perfect words that you said...

He blinked away the tears as he recalled that blazing look in the young man’s eyes...that look that said how he felt...how they both felt even if the words were never spoken... Sighing heavily he shifted uncomfortably in his chains. He needed a miracle...if I could walk on water...a miracle to get back to his Welshman...the man that he...the man that he...loved...he knew that now and he wished he’d told him before he ran away – the wonders of hind sight...if I could tell you what’s next... When he got home...and he would make it home, he’d stop at nothing to put things right...Ianto...make you believe, make you forget...

A smile formed on his lips as memories raced across his brain, Ianto’s brief, but nonetheless impressive, spell as a magic tea dragon under the influence of alien LSD...so come on, get higher, loosen my lips...watching him dance with abandon, several beers too many after celebrating the Welsh rugby team’s victory over their old English rivals...faith and desire in the swing of your hips... The smile morphed into a grin as he recalled how that night had ended – their lovemaking had been wild and passionate, slowing to sensual and tender as night became a new day...just pull me down hard and drown me in love...

“I came back for you...” the words hung heavy in the air as they looked at each other, suspicion and hurt battling want and need...and then the moment was gone...

The day descended into chaos in usual Torchwood style with the added distraction of Captain John Hart...note the sarcasm...and Ianto was reminded just how little he knew about the man who owned his heart so completely...

Eventually the cluster bombs, pistol whipping, paralysing lip gloss, Owen getting shot, Jack getting dead, Hart not getting dead...these minor issues were dealt with and Hart was dispatched back through the rift and the team now had to avoid themselves for twenty four hours which was why they were all waiting for room keys at the reception of the St David’s Hotel and Spa... Ianto met Jack’s hesitant gaze and nodded briefly as he requested three singles and a double...

The elevator ride up to the third floor was silent and they headed for their rooms in sombre mood, Jack and Ianto turning left down the corridor, the team turning right... Jack stopped outside 313 and opened the door with the key card before standing back to allow the Welshman to go in first. Ianto headed for the window and gazed out over the bay. Long minutes passed in silence until he turned to see Jack still stood uncertainly by the door with tears streaming down his cheeks and he realised that his own tears were falling thick and fast...I miss the pull of your heart...

Ianto stepped forward and opened his arms, crushing their mouths together as Jack flung himself into the embrace and they kissed hungrily, the passion building rapidly from long months of abstinence. They moaned against each other’s lips...I could taste the sparks on your tongue...hands grabbing at clothing as they sought desperately to touch the warm flesh below, buttons were attacked, shirts were tugged off and flung away, buckles and zips were navigated until they were naked and they fell across the bed.

Hot kisses and gentle touch alternated with heady passion and feral want as they moved closer to the ecstasy of their climax...I see angels and devils and God when you come...on...hold on...hold on...

“Jack...”

“Ianto...”

...hold on, hold on...

They slumped together in a tangle of limbs, sweaty and sated, hearts pounding wildly in their chests as the serenity of the afterglow radiated through them... Jack traced the outline of Ianto’s lips before kissing him tenderly as he entwined their fingers. “Ianto, I...”

“Sshh...I know...” the Welshman pressed their lips together lightly. “Why don’t you show me again...” so come on get higher...”show me what I’ve missed...” ’cause everything works love, everything works in your arms...

End  

Title: Bring him home
Author: zazajb
Rating: R, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Gwen
Spoilers : TW CoE, specifically Day 4
Summary: Jack revives on the floor of Thames House... Words 750

Warnings: serious angst, CoE character death

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time; I also don’t own the song or RyanDan...
A/N Inspired by the beautiful voices of RyanDan and dedicated to iantosdreamer46  who’s had a tough week. My thoughts also go out to all those caught up in the earthquake and tsunami... Best effects are reading with song in the background... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVQclOwFHX0

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & tw_proper [apologies to those getting this multiple times]

Bring him home

Jack took that first agonising gasp of air as he was flung away from the darkness once again, his hands reaching convulsively for the warm embrace of his beloved Welshman...and then he remembered... The realisation hit him like a hammer blow, driving the breath from his freshly filled lungs and his eyes filled with tears...Ianto...my Ianto...

He knew, without turning his head, that Gwen was sat beside the body of the man he loved...the man he’d let down time and time again but who’d always forgiven him for his failings...who’d welcomed him back into his arms with unwavering loyalty and unconditional love...Ianto...

He sat up slowly, staring ahead as his brain resisted the inevitable...Ianto was dead...killed by the deadly virus...Jack’s heart shattered into a million tiny pieces and his body shook as he moved to sit next to Gwen. She leant against him as he put his arm around her and felt her trembling as tears coursed down her face. He watched as she reached across to minutely adjust the perfect knot of Ianto’s tie...

His vision swam as he looked at the still form...he could just be sleeping...his frantic brain searched for alternatives to the bitter reality... Images flew through his head...Ianto laughing by the railings outside the Tourist Information as they licked ice cream from each other’s fingers on a warm July day, wrapped around him as their bodies stilled after making love in a cornfield – the fragrant summer night air caressing their skin as they kissed sweetly...the world faded away - it was just them, right here, right now...the summers die one by one...

His breath hitched as the memories washed over him...how soon they fly on and on...weevil hunting late at night, sharing that first coffee of the day...the two of them alone in the hub...tender touch and gentle words, the way his mouth curved at the corners with that tiny knowing smile as he leant across his Captain to place his mug on the desk, the feel of those soft and sensual lips as they moved so perfectly against his own, the reassuring warmth as he revived after yet another brutal death, the sparkle in those cobalt blue eyes as they met across the hub, the bliss of stolen moments – a kiss, a touch...during the madness that was their life...so many memories but they were never going to be enough – I wanted more time with him...we’d barely begun to live...to love...

Tears spilled unchecked down his cheeks, he had endless life...was so old...this was so wrong...and I am old and will be gone... I can’t lose him...his silent cry to every God he’d ever known...a plea that echoed through the cavernous makeshift morgue where the bodies lay silent and alone...you can take...and you can give... This man deserves to live...he’s given so much of himself – to me...to this earth...let him be...let him live...

I have so much time – yet it means nothing without him...he is my life now...everything that I fight for, the endless day that is my curse...he taught me how to see it as a gift...he gave me meaning...without him...I am nothing...take me...if I die – then let me die...save him...let him live... Ianto Jones belongs with the living...here...he is everything...bring him home...

“I never told him...” the sob wrenched from him before he could stop it...”at the end...I never told him...” he reached to take Ianto’s chill hand in his own, his fingers curling around the unresponsive flesh as his tears flowed...

Gwen took a tiny breath in and turned her head, “he knew...” she whispered, as she kissed his damp cheek, “he always knew...”

She stood carefully and watched as Jack shuffled closer to his beloved Welshman, his other hand now tracing the contours of that beautiful face... As she walked away she heard the anguished I love you...I always loved you...and she knew that nothing would ever be the same again...sometimes the price they paid was just too high...bring him home...

End

Title: In your arms
Author: zazajb
Rating: NC-17, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, team
Spoilers – none, set immediately after Countrycide S1
Summary: Nightmares of the events in the Brecon Beacons leave Ianto needing comfort.... Words 3350 Warnings: mild horror

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time

X-posted Jantolution, jackxianto & TW_classic & tw_proper[apologies to those getting this multiple times]

A/N Iantosdreamer and I were missing the redisourcolour challenges so we decided to challenge each other – her words for me - Theme: scared; night, corner, raindrops ‘I’ll promise to look after you”

This is for badly_knitted ...wish I was closer... Thinking of you with love *hugs tight carefully, mindful of migraine* 

In your arms...

It was two days after the Brecon Beacons and some of his bruises were starting to turn into spectacular displays of yellow and green amongst a backdrop of black and blue, all standing out starkly against his pale skin. His cracked ribs hurt and he ached from head to foot. He moved carefully and painfully around the hub but was doggedly determined to do his job.

At least the team were now treating him as a human being rather than a leper – not that he had blamed them after...after Lisa...the dull ache reverberating in his chest was nothing to do with the cannibals... He shook his head minutely and pushed the thoughts away. Time for the final round of coffee... Slowly ascending the stairs he felt the stare fixed on his back and he glanced out the corner of his eye to find Jack watching him intently... Jack...just looking at him made his heart beat faster...

Snatches of memories from his suspension flitted across his brain – Jack holding him close as he cried, Jack kissing him softly, tenderly, soothing away the hurt, even if only temporarily...Jack looking at him like he could see right through him, deep into the confused and tortured heart of his tangled emotions...

His body cried out for Jack, to be held and kissed...and more...his rational mind wanted to hate him for killing Lisa...for ruthlessly setting Myfanwy on the woman he loved...but she wasn’t that woman - he knew that now, so it was ok not to hate him...but it was wrong to want him...like that... His Tad’s voice echoed in his head “sodding poofter had it coming...” as he read aloud a story in the local newspaper of the brutal murder of a young gay man...This kind of want was wrong...but it didn’t feel wrong...it felt right..he wanted it...wanted Jack...the battle in his head waged onwards...

With a start he came back to the present, realising that Jack was now looking concerned... He gave a tiny smile and turned back, resuming his slow climb to the kitchen. Once the coffee was brewing he leant forward against the worktop and covered his face with his hands, biting back the sobs that threatened to engulf him.

Lost in tortuous thought, self loathing and general despair, he didn’t realise the older man had come to find him until a warm hand was placed gently on his back and he jumped, grunting as red hot pain shot through him in protest at the sudden movement. He turned slowly, trying desperately to ignore his heart thudding double-time and the spikes of desire twitching in his groin...

“Hey...” Jack spoke softly, “you ok..?”

Ianto didn’t trust himself to speak, so just nodded, not meeting Jack’s eyes, biting hard on his bottom lip to stop it from trembling...

Gentle fingers tipped his chin up so he could meet the worried gaze in those endless blue grey eyes, his worldly-wise Captain seeing at a glance that all was not ok... He folded him into his arms, encouraging the young man to rest his head on his shoulder while he stroked his hair...”it’s going to be ok...I promise to look after you...” he whispered.

Ianto leant against the warmth of Jack’s body, giving in to the little voice at the back of his head and snaked his arms around the older man, rubbing his cheek against the soft fabric of his shirt and breathing in the scent that was uniquely Jack. He sighed deeply and pressed closer...

“Better..?”

Ianto mumbled incoherently into Jack’s shoulder, tightening his grip despite the pain in his ribs. Somehow when he was with Jack nothing else seemed to matter...he felt safe...he closed his eyes, letting the weariness wash over him...

They remained still for long minutes until Jack pulled back, gently, not wanting to hurt the young Welshman. He brushed his lips lightly over Ianto’s. “Coffee...then home – get some rest...ok...” Releasing him, he stepped back and watched as Ianto poured out the coffees, adding cream and sugar to those who needed it and placing a plate of chocolate biscuits on the tray before picking it up carefully, wincing as pain shot through him.

Jack watched him limp down the stairs then hand out the drinks and biscuits. Tosh accepted hers with a smile and quiet thanks, glancing up from her work to make eye contact, Gwen nodded her thanks, also with a small smile and Owen grunted a gruff “thanks, tea boy...” without looking at him... He was almost at the top of the steps from autopsy when Owen called out, asking about his pain levels, offering both pain relief and sleeping pills... Ianto thanked him, declining both...

Finally, he took Jack’s coffee to his office and set it down on the desk, turning and colliding with the Captain as one attempted to leave the office and the other entered at speed... Ianto gasped as his body protested wildly at the impact and he staggered into Jack’s outstretched arms... “...back again so soon..?! Not that I mind..!” he leered at him, drawing a blush across the young man’s cheeks as he attempted to wriggle away...before Jack could feel the hardness in his trousers.

“....see you tomorrow...sir...”

Back home at his flat, Ianto stood under the shower, feeling the warmth of the water soothing some of his aches and pains. He closed his eyes and ran his hands gingerly over his chest, bubbles from the shower gel disguising the welts so he could almost make believe it had never happened...he hadn’t been tenderised...hadn’t had a meat cleaver at his throat...he shuddered violently as waves of nausea ran through him, his eyes flew open in an attempt to escape the visions of horror in his mind...

Jack...think of Jack...how he’d held him and soothed him and gently bathed his wounds...how his eyes had shown a vulnerability only recently discovered...after Jasmine and the faeries...a Jack who could hurt, who could question his actions even as he knew they were the right ones...a Jack he wanted to spend more and more time with...a Jack he was falling for... His hands had settled in his groin, absently stroking, as his thoughts had turned to his Captain and he realised he was rock hard...this was starting to become a habit...as he increased the motion of his hand, gasping his release after an embarrassingly short space of time...

Sliding under his quilt he closed his eyes and was grateful when exhaustion-inspired sleep claimed him...

He was dreaming...he was back in that dingy stinking cellar, there was blood everywhere and someone was laughing-a cold hysterical laugh that filled him with terror... Tosh, he needed to save Tosh...he tried to roll over but his hands and feet were tied...he fought against the rope binding him, feeling it bite deep into his flesh, finally managing to turn round... A scream froze in his throat as he came face to face with Tosh’s severed head...it was her blood he was laying in...he’d failed...she was dead and now it was his turn...the meat cleaver swung in an arc high above him as a hand grabbed hold of his hair to pull his head back, exposing his neck...

He jerked awake, shudders of horror shaking his body and a layer of sweat beading on his skin...he could still feel the cleaver, ice cold against his neck and his fingers flew automatically to brush against the scab that had formed over the cut on his throat...

Ianto climbed out of bed on shaking legs and staggered to the bathroom where he threw up in the toilet, retching painfully as he’d eaten nothing since breakfast. He turned on the shower and stood under the warm spray, scrubbing his body roughly to rid himself of the sensation of Tosh’s blood coating his flesh... As the water ran cold he climbed out and dried himself, cleaned his teeth and dressed in his suit...his flat felt oppressive and threatening...he had to get out...so he might as well go to work...to the hub...to Jack...

It was 2:40am and Jack had just returned from a spell on the roof of the Millenium Centre to clear his head, taking in the chill of the night air as he turned his face up to feel the soft caress of gentle raindrops on his skin...he loved this planet and its eco-systems...

Now he back was in his office, reluctantly reaching for the pile of files that he’d ignored earlier... The roller door grated open and Ianto stepped in. He was pale – aside from the bruises- dark shadows under his eyes and he looked so vulnerable... Jack jumped from his chair and practically flew down to meet him, folding him into his arms and stroking his back...

“...nightmare...Tosh...too late...dead...so much blood...” his body shook uncontrollably.

Jack held him tight, whispering in his ear, soothing and calming, finally loosening his hold so he could pull back enough to press a tender kiss to the young man’s lips. Ianto tangled his hands in his Captain’s hair and kissed him back, wildly, passionately, thrusting his tongue into the older man’s mouth, pressing his body hard against him...

“...make me forget...please Jack...” he gasped when they came up for air, reaching his hand down to press against the hot bulge in Jack’s trousers...”I need you...sir...please...”

Jack pulled back and looked searchingly at him. “What do you want..?”

“You...everything...but I’ve never...” his voice trailed away uncertainly, the blush rising across his cheekbones.

“I could just give you retcon..?...if you want to forget...”

“No, Jack...I want you...” He buried his face in the older man’s shoulder, suddenly very aware that he’d actually voiced his desires...what if he said no..?...what if he couldn’t do...it...right?...what if..?

Jack silenced his fears with a kiss so full of passion it made his head spin and he moaned against his mouth, his body aching with longing. When they finally pulled apart he was light-headed and breathless, his lips tingling... Wordlessly, Jack took his hand and led him to his office then down to his cubbyhole where he pressed him up against the ladder to kiss him into oblivion once more.

Ianto was weak at the knees when they resurfaced and he held on tight, gasping...

“...ok so far..? We can stop any time you want...” Jack whispered, breath hot against the Welshman’s ear, sending tiny shivers down his spine...

Arching his body against his Captain so he could feel his arousal straining against his trousers, Ianto pulled him back for another hot and messy kiss, his hands sliding down to rest on Jack’s hips. They came up for air, Jack pulling back to look deep into the young man’s eyes, checking before he went any further...

Blushing at the close scrutiny, Ianto gave a tiny smile as they both reached towards the other’s clothes, Ianto sliding Jack’s braces off his shoulders before his shaking hands began unbuttoning his shirt...Jack running his hands upwards under Ianto’s jacket to slide it off his shoulders where it fell to the floor, before slowly undoing his waistcoat and then loosening the red silk at his neck, keeping his eyes fixed on the younger man’s... He pulled the tie from his collar and dropped it to the floor, following it with his waistcoat, before reaching towards the buttons on his shirt...checking again before he continued.

Ianto had run out of buttons on Jack’s shirt and he pushed it off the older man’s shoulders, then, with hands that shook, he tugged the undershirt out from his trousers, hesitating, he bit down on his bottom lip nervously...

Jack smiled encouragingly and cupped the Welshman’s face, stroking his cheek softly with his thumb, before resuming his careful unbuttoning of his shirt, slowly revealing his chest with its soft covering of hair that had Jack itching to run his hands over...He reined himself in, not wanting to rush the young man...

Ianto took a deep breath and slid his hands under the fabric of Jack’s t-shirt, his hands trembling as they made contact with the warm body beneath...he let out a sigh and ran his fingers up his Captain’s back, relishing the feel of his soft skin. Emboldened, he pushed the t-shirt up and tugged it over Jack’s head, dropping it to the floor before running his fingers over the older man’s smooth chest, desire raging through him.

Wrapping the young man into his arms, Jack slid his shirt off where it joined the rest of their discarded clothing. He pressed his mouth to those soft and sensual lips, their tongues dancing as they explored each other, feeling the shudders that shook the Welshman’s body and the soft moans that escaped him as they kissed...the feel of skin pressed to skin sending their senses soaring...

Ianto tangled one hand in his Captain’s hair, the other pressed in the small of his back, keeping him close as he was kissed with a passion that made his head swim and he lost himself in the intoxicating sensation that was Jack...coming up briefly for air before sinking back into exhilarating kiss after kiss...finally pulling apart, gasping, lips swollen, cheeks flushed, knees weak...

“...you ok..?”

“mmmnn...” Ianto nodded, incapable of coherent speech, his senses blown...

Jack moved them to his tiny cot and pushed the young man gently until he was lying back, his heart pounding frantically, those delicious pink lips parted...

Jack quickly toed off his boots and socks as he untied Ianto’s laces and slipped off his shoes and socks, adding them to the pile of clothing on the floor. He moved back towards the Welshman and carefully slid in beside him, their bodies pressing together in the restricted space. Jack kissed his mouth tenderly before planting soft kisses down the side of his neck, feeling him trembling at the touch. He continued his trail of kisses across his throat, stroking his fingers reassuringly through the young man’s hair, before moving down...

Ianto’s breath became a series of tiny gasps as Jack’s tongue explored his chest and teased his nipples, gently grazing his teeth over the nubs of flesh, feeling them harden under his attention...his body shook with desire and he moaned softly...

Sliding back up to reclaim his lips, Jack’s hands moved to unbuckle Ianto’s belt, tugging it out of the loops and dropping it over the side of the bed, before returning to the button on his trousers, feeling the young man’s breath hitch as he slid down his zip and eased his trousers and boxers down to join the heap on the floor... Pulling away he gazed into Ianto’s eyes...checking...seeing his own desire reflected in those shining blue pools...

Shuffling backwards in the confined space, Jack quickly shed his own trousers and underwear before he resumed his exploration of Ianto’s body, reaching one hand out to entwine with the younger man’s as he kissed his way down across his stomach, moving lower... He paused to glance up before moving any further – Ianto’s eyes were closed, his body arched off the bed and his gorgeously kiss-swollen lips were parted, tiny sighs escaping him as his body quivered in anticipation...

Jack lowered his gaze and blew softly over the tip, drawing a wanton moan from the Welshman’s lips that turned into a strangled gasp as Jack took him into his mouth, rolling his tongue and lightly grazing with his teeth...feeling Ianto writhing beneath him, his hips bucking, heart hammering in his chest as his senses swam...

Ianto gripped Jack’s hand tightly as he lost himself in delicious sensation never before experienced – his body was on fire, white hot tendrils of pleasure coursed through him and tingles stretched from his head to his toes...this was way beyond pleasure...the waves of exquisite release building slowly, gathering pace until they burst through and he came, crying out Jack’s name as he arched his shuddering body and his eyelids fluttered, all movements totally beyond his control...

Moving swiftly back up his body, Jack crushed his lips to Ianto’s, sliding his tongue into the young man’s mouth so he could taste himself as they kissed...lost in post orgasmic bliss, trembling through the after-shocks as his body slowly returned to normal...

When they pulled apart to draw breath, Ianto opened his eyes to find himself gazing into Jack’s sparkling blue grey ones, a gentle smile on his lips, “...you ok..?”

“...that was...just...fucking amazing..!” he gasped and he tugged Jack back for another kiss, tongues tangling lazily, until they ran out of air and broke apart panting.

“...you had enough...or you want to carry on..?” Jack pressed his body against the young man’s, his own arousal nudging against his stomach...

A brief look of trepidation flew across the Welshman’s face, to be swiftly chased away as he reached for the older man, “I want...you...everything...” He arched against his Captain as his lips were claimed in a kiss that took his breath away and he was wrapped in a tight embrace as Jack rolled over to finish on top of him...

Kiss followed kiss as Jack reached into his bedside drawer to retrieve the lube, flipping the lid he coated three fingers, sliding his hand down to brush over the entrance to Ianto’s body, stroking gently, feeling the young man shudder involuntarily, then freeze as he pressed the tip of his finger inside... He pulled his hand away instantly as the Welshman’s eyes flew open in alarm... ”...you want to stop..?” his voice was soft, gentle and he smiled reassuringly...

“...no...I want you...it’s just...” fear mingled with desire...

“...I know...relax...concentrate on the sensations...and we’ll stop...all you have to do is say...at any point...” his voice was cut off as the young man crushed their lips together and thrust his body towards his Captain...

They lost themselves in the kiss as Jack resumed his gentle stroking, pressing a finger in slowly, preparing him, angling to brush that sweet spot to draw a startled gasp from his young lover, adding a second finger and then a third, kiss following kiss as Ianto writhed and trembled beneath him, moaning with every brush of that magic spot...

Removing his fingers, Jack coated himself in lube and pressed in slowly...gently...pausing when Ianto hissed, their eyes locked on each other...   “...that feels amazing..!” Ianto gasped, thrusting his hips impatiently...

Jack moved slowly, deliberately, wanting this first time to be extra special, memorable... speeding up when the young man met his thrusts, pushing up towards him as blissful, indescribable sensations flooded his body...multiplying when Jack reached for him, pumping in time to their movements...

Ianto reached up, pulling the older man down for a messy, open-mouthed kiss, every cell in his body tingling with electricity as he hit his second climax and he cried out against Jack’s mouth, wave after wave of pleasure washing over him, driving Jack to his own release and they shuddered in unison, finally collapsing in a tangled heap, panting hard, enjoying the post-orgasmic glow that radiated through their bodies.

They lay there, kissing softly...”thank you, Jack...” Ianto mumbled into his neck as his Captain folded him into a warm hug...

Reaching into the drawer for wipes, Jack cleaned them up and urged the young man under the covers, before sliding in beside him and wrapping his arms around him. “...how do you feel now?” he whispered softly against Ianto’s ear.

Ianto snuggled in closer, “...safe...I feel safe...in your arms...” his eyelids fluttered shut as Jack kissed him gently and tightened his hold as they drifted into contented sleep...

End

Title: Hidden depths
Author: zazajb
Rating: R, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Tosh, mention of Owen & Gwen
Spoilers – Cyberwoman s1- via memory, fic set mid S2
Summary: Jack is thinking about the many faces of his gorgeous Welshman.  Words: 2550

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & TW_classic, tw_proper, jantosparkle [apologies to those getting this multiple times]

A/N Iantosdreamer46 & I were missing the redisourcolour challenges so we challenged each other: This week’s theme – You can’t judge a book by its cover, her words for me: ghost, candle, score ‘Look it’s me, please let me in’

A/N1 this is for wise_n_witty  and crimsonkildare  – wishing you both a speedy recovery *gentle hugs* xxx

Hidden depths

Jack’s eyes followed the pristine blue pinstripe-clad backside as it disappeared silently out of the door, leaving him with a steaming mug of his favourite blend, a large slab of his favourite chocolate brownie and a longing in his nether regions that made him squirm uncomfortably in his chair... If he sniffed the air he could just make out the faint scent of ginger and lime shampoo that lingered as the Welshman vanished from sight... He was an enigma – a gorgeous, sexy, blue eyed, coffee-making dream of an enigma – but still a mystery nonetheless...

He did his job quietly and efficiently, moving around the hub like a ghost, fading into the background so he was invisible...and if he was honest with himself, Jack knew that it was ultimately his fault that Ianto had been able to hide his secret from them for so long...his fault that innocent blood had been shed and now he would have to deal with it...and try to explain his decisions to the team... He grimaced, knowing it wouldn’t go down well... He closed his eyes and thought back over the past few days...

The air cleared briefly before it was filled with flashes of a fully mobile part-converted Lisa beside a dead scientist, the emergency lighting of the Hub in lockdown and Ianto was flung across the room to land crumpled on the floor. Jack was taunting her, taking tremendous static shocks that killed him time after time, only to revive after each one to bait her once more – buying the rest of his team time to get away.

Jack crawled across to Ianto, slapping him in a vain attempt to rouse him before realising it was too late. .. “Nooooo, Ianto...” he felt again the burning grief that shot through him, reliving the moment as he pressed his lips to the young man’s to give him a life-force laden kiss, overwhelming sadness and rage sharing centre stage in his head as he brought him back to life.

The memory jumped ahead to the scene of a bloodbath deep in the lower levels – Lisa lay dead alongside the body of another young woman, Ianto was on his knees, sobbing...the air was ice cold and the team stood with guns drawn... The picture changed again, like a kaleidoscope, reforming in the main area of the Hub...Jack stood resolute while Gwen and Owen vented their fury on him and Tosh sobbed...”...he tried to fucking kill us..!” “...you can’t let him go – retcon the bastard and dump him in the bay...”

“No! He’s suspended while I decide what to do...” Gwen and Owen continued to out-shout each other until Jack bellowed at them to “SHUT UP! Get your gear and go home...I mean it...go home, get some rest...back here midday...” Nobody spoke while they packed up and left, the roller door closing behind them. Weariness flooding off him, Jack went into his office and sat down next to the blood smeared, trembling young man and pulled him into his arms, holding him tightly as he cried...

The images shifted, taking shape in Ianto’s bare and sterile flat, a single candle flickered on the table next to a picture of a dark-skinned beautiful young woman – Lisa. The Welshman sat limply on the sofa as Jack towered over him, suppressed anger at Ianto’s betrayal all the more poignant as he spoke in barely a whisper,

“You know the score - they think I should retcon you and dump you somewhere, preferably after letting Owen give you a beating so it looks like a mugging...”

“No worse than I expected...” Ianto shrugged, his eyes fixed on his bare feet, “unless you want to kill me...” his face was white and drawn and his eyes sunken and red-rimmed.

“I don’t know what I want! I thought we had something, or a chance of something, but it was all for show – you just wanted me distracted, no matter what it took – you played me, Ianto – played me for a fool...”

Ianto shrugged again, “so do it...death...retcon...doesn’t matter anymore...I’m dead already...”

Jack knelt down in front of him, forcing his knees apart to push into the space between them, then tipped his chin up to look the young man in the eye.

“...tell me that’s what you really want...and I’ll do it...you’ll never have known us...me...is that what you want..?”

“...no...” Ianto whimpered, “I couldn’t bear not knowing you...”

Jack slid his arms around him and pressed his lips softly to the younger man’s, feeling him trembling in the embrace before they both gave in to the passion and crushed their mouths together, tongues duelling fiercely, hands raking urgently through hair and over each other’s bodies...

Panting hard, they broke apart. “what do you feel..?” growled Jack, his breath hot on Ianto’s ear...

“...alive...I feel...alive...” he shivered violently, “...but...”

Jack’s mouth on his silenced the guilt and doubt they both knew would have ended that sentence, the kiss both hungry and reassuring as they each lost themselves in the other. Pulling away, Jack rested his forehead against the Welshman’s, closing his eyes as he steeled himself for what had to come next...

“You betrayed me, Ianto, and I don’t know how long it will be before I can trust you again...” his voice was low, controlled, with an undertone of menace, completely at odds with the gentle stroking of the young man’s hair. “...Lisa died at Canary Wharf, what we killed was not the woman you loved but because of you, two more people are dead...you have to live with that...and you put the team in terrible danger...they could have died too...that’s something else you have to live with and so will they... It’s going to be a rough ride – they hate you right now...” he paused and his tone softened, “...but no more than you hate yourself...”

He wrapped Ianto into his arms and the young man broke down, wild sobs shaking his body. Jack held him until his sobs had subsided and he’d stopped trembling, although he still clung tightly to the older man. Gently extracting himself from the Welshman’s hold, Jack hauled himself to his feet.

“Make sure you eat something. I’ll be back later...”  Without a backward glance, he left the flat and strode away...

Ianto glanced into the fridge, grimaced and closed the door again. He poured himself a glass of water and sipped it carefully before moving back to the sofa. He sat down and stared at the photo, tears filling his eyes. He blinked them away forcefully and stood up, blowing the candle out and laying the photo face down on the table, “...I’m sorry...” he whispered, “so sorry...goodbye Lisa...”

He turned and went into the bedroom, flinging himself down onto the bed, his sobs shaking his body until he fell into a fitful sleep, his dreams filled with tortuous scenes of metal men, whirring knives and terrified screams...

He woke with a jump to a knocking on his front door, a knocking that grew more urgent as he dragged his reluctant body off the bed and headed towards the door, “Ianto...look it’s me, Tosh...please let me in... Ianto..?”

Taking a deep breath, he opened the door, Tosh’s anxious face melting into an expression of relief as she saw him still in one piece... He grimaced ruefully, reading her correctly as he stood aside to let her in.

Tosh preceded him into the kitchen and dumped her carrier bags on the worktop. “Jack said you needed groceries...I got the basics and some stuff I know you like...you need to eat...” she said sharply as he shrugged. “Why don’t I make us some tea and a sandwich...” she began pulling things out of the bags without waiting for an answer.

Ianto watched her, uncertain of what to do. Tosh threw him a casual glance, taking in the pale face, dark shadows and red-rimmed eyes. She stepped towards him and laid a gentle hand on his arm. “You go and take a shower and I’ll sort out things here...” She gave him a tiny smile and a nudge towards his bathroom.

Ianto did as he was told...it didn’t occur to him to disobey and it was a relief to have someone else make the decisions. He closed the door, nodding automatically in response to Tosh’s question about clean towels...

As soon as she was sure Ianto was in the shower, Tosh set about efficiently rigging the kitchen, lounge and bedroom with the latest tiny CCTV... Jack had explained to a reluctant Tosh that he wasn’t spying on the young Welshman, rather more concerned with keeping him safe and making sure he didn’t do any harm to himself as he grieved for his lost Lisa and, quite probably, really faced up to the events of Canary Wharf for the first time... “I don’t want to lose him...not like this...” he’d said quietly, leaving her wondering...

Once it was all set up, she sent a swift text to Jack and busied herself making the tea. She was looking at the picture on the table when Ianto reappeared, jeans now replacing the grubby jogging bottoms and a polo shirt in place of the faded t-shirt. He was towelling his hair as she turned guiltily towards him, replacing the photo where she’d found it. She held out a mug towards him, smiling softly as he eyed it suspiciously, “...it’s just tea...no retcon, I promise! She took a sip of her own and offered it to him, “...swap if you like..?”

A hint of a smile flickered across his face and he sank onto the sofa, taking a deliberately large mouthful of the hot sweet tea. Tosh sat in the armchair and watched him. He looked so young and vulnerable, she thought, quashing the urge to hug him tightly and tell him everything would be ok... She reached out and took a sandwich off the plate, “...cheese and pickle” she said in response to his unasked question.

Ianto took one too, taking a tentative bite, chewing slowly and swallowing, before deciding that he was hungry and devouring three more in rapid succession. Tosh leant back, nodding to herself, Jack had been right on every count so far... “Ianto..?”

The Welshman tensed and shrank back on the sofa. “You and Jack...” she let the statement hang in the air for a moment before continuing... “...you never...um...”

“We never shagged, if that’s what you’re asking!” the young man stated bluntly, well aware of the numerous CCTV recordings the tech genius had of their various snogs and occasional blowjob...

Tosh blushed and dropped her gaze to her mug, “no...that wasn’t what I meant!” she said swiftly, “I meant...well, was it just a way of keeping Jack distracted...while you...sorry...I was just wondering...only...”

Ianto sighed heavily, “if I’m honest...yeah, in the beginning it was...I could see he was interested and it meant I could keep a watch on where he was, y’know...but...” he broke off and looked at her searchingly, wondering how much to say... He liked Tosh, she’d been the only one really, who’d acknowledged him as a person.... “Too soon it became something else...I liked kissing him, being with him...and I hated myself for it...I kept telling myself it was for Lisa...but it wasn’t – it was for me and I hate that I’ve let him down...but I still want him...and I hate myself for that as well.”

He stared at his now empty mug, his voice dropping to a whisper so she had to lean forward to hear him, “I really wanted to...you know...sleep with him...but I just couldn’t betray him like that...I really like him Tosh...and now he hates me...everyone hates me...” his eyes filled with fresh tears, “I hate me...” He drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, biting down hard on his bottom lip in an attempt to stop the tears falling...

Tosh blinked back her own tears before reaching out a hand towards the now trembling young man. “We don’t hate you...we hate what you did – there is a difference...and Jack...if he didn’t think you were worth saving, we wouldn’t be here now...” She moved across to wrap him into a hug, stroking his hair gently, feeling him lean against her, before releasing him quickly and standing. “I’d better get back now...Jack said he’d be back later sometime this evening and you’re to stay indoors...ok?”

Ianto nodded, watching as she gathered up the mugs and plates and took them back into the kitchen, before slipping into her coat and heading for the door. “Tosh..?”

“Ianto..?”

“Thank you...for...everything...” he gave her a tiny smile as she nodded and left, clicking the door behind her.

In his office, Jack had watched, his eyes full of unshed tears. He’d known there was something about this young man...now he was sure...hidden depths... They’d be fine...his team...his Ianto...

 “J-a-c-k!” Ianto’s whimper roused him from his stroll down memory lane and he grinned up at the naked Welshman, his hands tied to the headboard with two of his own silk ties, his body arching off the bed, desperate for the return of Jack’s warm mouth to his heated skin...

Jack scrambled back up the bed and crushed his lips to Ianto’s, driving his tongue into the young man’s mouth where it duelled wildly with own, their moans lost against each other’s flesh as they writhed together and passions mounted...

They came up for air, panting hard, “thought I’d lost you for a while there...” Ianto gasped, tilting his head to allow his Captain more access to his neck, shuddering with desire as Jack grazed his teeth down the sensitive skin, sucking down hard where neck met shoulder to draw a hiss of combined pain and pleasure from between pink, kiss swollen lips...

“Just remembering...you...me...times past...how we got to here...” Jack paused, gazing lovingly into his Welshman’s eyes, before kissing him slow and deep as his hands danced down to tease his tender flesh...

“...too much thinking..! You dropped your pen, I bent over to pick it up...we fell through the bedroom door...we ended up here...” Ianto’s eyes sparkled with love, lust and desire in equal measure, “now, you gonna finish what you started..?” he thrust his body towards Jack’s, every nerve ending tingling with electricity...”now Jack...need you now...”

“Yessir!” Jack grinned as he reached for the lube and flipped it open... Oh, his Welshman had lots of hidden depths and he was going to enjoy exploring every single one of them..!

End

Title: Like the sun
Author: zazajb
Rating: R, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, team
Spoilers – set immediately after Captain Jack Harkness, end of S1, day 4 S3
Summary: After his return from 1941, Jack realises what Ianto means to him...retrospective reflection. Words 2300

Warning: angst, mention of character death, teeny tiny Gwen bashing with a very soft pillow, once!

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & tw_proper[apologies to those getting this multiple times]

A/N Yeah – I know – another songfic...but it bit me after I watched this episode the other day and I realised it needed a better ending and that led me to the dark side...it wasn’t supposed to be like this but it ran away...so please forgive me...

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpibMaa2WvU The words are so Janto....beautifully sung here by RyanDan

Like the sun

They exchanged worried looks as Jack strode into his office. Gwen moved to go after him, pausing when Tosh shook her head. “Let me...” Gwen shrugged - Tosh had been there with him... She’d go in after...

Tosh followed Jack into his office and poured two generous measures of whiskey from the decanter, handing one to her boss. “He’d have been so proud that you took his name...” she said softly, raising her glass as Jack’s eyes swam with unshed tears, “...to Captain Jack...”

Jack clinked their glasses briefly, “Captain Jack...” he repeated and swallowed his drink down in one, feeling it burning its way down his throat...

Tosh put a hand on his arm and squeezed gently, “thank you for taking care of me...” Smiling, she placed her glass back on the decanter tray and left the room. Outside she intercepted Gwen who was heading towards Jack’s office, “...not now,“ she said quietly, knowing that an interrogation was the last thing he needed, “...it’s not you he needs...” She met Gwen’s gaze, knowing that her words – chosen with deliberate care – would stoke the ever-present green Goblin that existed where Jack and Ianto were concerned... Gwen’s eyes narrowed at the determined expression on Tosh’s face, but she remained where she was as Tosh swung round to look at Ianto and nodded.

Ianto gave a tiny smile - just enough to curve the corners of his mouth - in quiet acknowledgement of Tosh’s efforts to protect Jack from Gwen’s need to have answers to everything...she’d get her answers – they’d all get the answers – but not now...

Jack was staring at his refilled glass when Ianto came in. He looked up to meet the Welshman’s gaze, his blue grey eyes glistening as he saw nothing but tenderness reflected in those crystal blue depths. Jack stifled a sob as Ianto opened his arms and his Captain fell into them, the barriers well and truly down now as he sobbed in the young man’s arms... Ianto held him tightly, rocking them gently as he threaded his fingers through Jack’s hair...

Eventually Jack’s breathing slowed and he relaxed in the warmth of the embrace. Moving carefully, Ianto steered them over to the sofa and sank down onto it, Jack curling up next to him, pressing close, their fingers entwined... “You want to tell me about it?” Ianto’s soft Welsh vowels whispered against the older man’s ear and he shivered as goose bumps trailed over his skin...

“It was war time...1941...he was...he was so...” his voice trailed off, unable to find the words...

“He was you...” Ianto supplied gently, “Captain Jack Harkness...the man whose name you took...”

“Yes...” Jack’s hoarse whisper was barely audible

”You never expected to meet him...”

“No...I knew he was going to die...and there was nothing I could do for him...” Jack’s anguish was palpable. “Ianto...”

“Sshh, it’s ok...” Ianto pressed a light kiss to his Captain’s hair.

“No...no...you don’t understand...” Jack was trembling, on the verge of tears again...

Ianto tightened his hold, “...tell me...but only if you want to...” his voice soft and reassuring as his stomach churned inside...wondering – did he really want to know? Technically it was sixty odd years ago – way in the past...but... He shoved the thought aside, Jack needed him...here...now...and that’s all that mattered...

“He was so lonely...he couldn’t show then who he really was...he worked out that he was going to die and...and...” Jack reached up and pulled Ianto’s face towards him, kissing him hungrily, desperately...begging forgiveness... Ianto’s blood ran cold, tortuous thoughts tumbling through his brain, each progressively worse than the previous one...

“and I...” Jack broke down into fresh sobs, curling his fingers tightly into his Welshman’s lapels. He took a deep breath in, “wedancedIkissedhimgoodbye...’m sorry...” his words all running into each other, barely discernible...

“Sshh...you gave him something real...he died as him...the real him...and now he lives on – a hero...as a hero...” He tipped Jack’s face up towards him and kissed him tenderly, tongues seeking comfort in their familiar dance...Ianto tasting the lingering smoky tang of the whiskey against the backdrop of everything that was Jack... He moaned softly into the kiss, his relief that Jack’s actions were limited to dancing and kissing giving way to a rising passion and a need to possess his Captain... He would’ve understood if it’d been more...if Jack had...with Jack...would’ve dealt with it...but...  

Jack kissed back; hard, feral want building in unstoppable waves... He pulled back from his Welshman’s soft and sensual lips and grazed his teeth down the side of his neck...”bed...now...” he growled, lust and need blazing out of his eyes as he met the young man’s gaze...

Ianto stood up and carefully entwined their fingers before heading towards the ladder that led to Jack’s bunker and they threw themselves down it, mouths crashing together as they tumbled on to the tiny bunk...

Tosh watched as they disappeared from sight, tears sparkling in her eyes... “Tosh...?” Gwen’s voice was shaky...she needed to know, yet...

Tosh smiled through her tears, “...let’s go and get some tea and I’ll tell you about a wonderful man we met in 1941...” They headed off towards the kitchen, “...it was wartime and it was beautiful...”

From the top of the stairs down to autopsy, Owen watched the girls head towards the kitchen. He smiled, they’d be ok...they’d all be ok...now he just had to finish dressing his wound...bloody tea boy... he thought with grudging admiration for the loyalty the young man had shown for his beliefs...his Captain...the man he loved... As he dug the final shards of shrapnel out of his shoulder, Owen felt a twinge of guilt for the hurtful things he’d said to Ianto...on the whole he deserved this bullet he concluded ruefully... He grimaced and began to dress the gaping wound. Hopefully the girls would bring him a cup of tea...

Down in Jack’s bunker, Ianto was slowly undressing his Captain, peeling each layer of fabric from his body, his eyes locked on Jack’s. As he tugged the t-shirt over his head and flung it away, he pulled him close and crushed their lips together, driving his tongue into the other man’s mouth to explore with possessive intent. Jack melted against his Welshman, moaning when Ianto tore his mouth away and latched onto Jack’s neck, nipping the soft skin fiercely to leave a trail of purple bruises...marking him as mineminemine...

Their lovemaking alternated between fierce and possessive and tender and loving, Ianto taking his Captain to the very edge of release before backing off until Jack was a quivering jelly, aware of nothing but the warmth of Ianto’s mouth and the touch of his hands on heated skin...sensation after sensation driving him to a plane of pure bliss until they finally exploded together, each crying out the other’s name...wave upon wave of pleasure that left nerve endings tingling and every cell in their bodies charged with electricity and they collapsed in each other’s arms, panting hard as they came down from their orgasmic high...

Ianto cupped Jack’s face and kissed him softly, “...you ok?”

Jack’s mumbled reply was lost against his lips as he pressed their mouths together in a deep lingering kiss that told Ianto all he needed to know...They slid under the sheets and curled up together, the stresses and worry of the past 48 hours coupled with the intensity of their climax seeing them claimed swiftly by peaceful slumber.

In the main hub, Tosh, Gwen and Owen talked quietly over their tea, discussing the seemingly all-round positive outcome to recent events...opening the rift had been the right thing to do... They packed away and went home...as unbeknown to them, the rift quietly splintered around them...

Jack stirred. His eyelids fluttered open and a gentle smile spread across his face. He snuggled closer to the sleeping man in his arms and inhaled, the scent that was Ianto filling him with a serene sense of peace that he’d not felt in a very long time... Brushing his lips lightly against the warm pale skin of Ianto’s shoulder, he wondered when this gorgeous man had come to mean so much to him... Jack Harkness had kept his emotions under lock and key for so many years...his defence against the hurt and loss when they inevitably left him alone...again...he’d promised himself he wouldn’t...couldn’t do this again...

Somehow this unassuming Welshman had found a way through all his defences, quietly dismantling all his barriers to settle himself securely in his Captain’s heart...he’d tried to resist him...he really had...I tried to hide from you...but I failed... He thought of the times he’d walked away, headed off to a rooftop to brood, knowing he’d left Ianto hurt and confused...but the younger man had always forgiven him...loved him and accepted him for who he was...as he was...with no agenda...

A warmth spread through him as images of Ianto flooded his head...working in the archives...making the coffee...stood at his shoulder, supporting him with unquestioning loyalty...pressed against the wall as they writhed against each other...bent over his desk when everyone else had gone home...that first time, after the Beacons, leading him down to his tiny bunk...the first time he’d asked Ianto to stay...there was no denying it...no hiding from how he felt about this beautiful man...I tried to lie to you about how I felt...

After Jasmine, when the team had blamed him...hated him...he’d been there...Ianto had held him, soothed him and told him he’d done what was needed...Ianto had understood he wasn’t a monster – not any more...and even in my darkest times, you gave me light...

And slowly the barriers crumbled under the young man’s belief that his Captain was a good man...a man whom he loved with everything he was...and Jack flourished in the light of that love...I never knew this kinda love could feel so right...

With Ianto beside him Jack knew he was a better person...when I’m in your arms, I find myself believing...and he wanted to be with him for ever...we could be anywhere...so I can keep on dreaming...

He pressed gentle kisses to Ianto’s hair, neck, shoulder...any part of him he could reach...when he was with him, the darkness was less oppressive, his demons were kept at bay and he was simply Jack... Ianto shifted backwards, moving towards the touch, a tiny smile curving his lips as he slept...Jack’s hold tightened around his waist...whenever you’re close to me...you’re like the sun – you feel like the sun...

Jack frowned, trying to remember the exact moment when he’d realised that Ianto lit up his world, when he’d realised that the air was less vibrant when the Welshman wasn’t around...colours dulled and sounds were muted...and everyday you’re telling me I am the one – I am the one? – who makes you shine...

He never realised ‘till now that he’d die a thousand times if it kept his Welshman safer...that he couldn’t bear to lose him...God that hurt to think about...he knew that time would come...one day...and I know wherever you want me to, I’ll go... he knew that the young man’s fire and passion would stay with him...he was part of him now...and would always be...and even when you’re not with me, I feel you there – I only have to look and see, and I’ll know where...

Jack blinked rapidly, the tears that filled his eyes as he recalled holding Ianto in his arms as the young man took his final breath, as he promised never to forget him... He hugged the body of the man he loved with all his heart, his heart that was breaking...no, shattering into a million pieces, even as he felt his own life force draining away....when I’m holding you, the world can stop its turning...

Now, as he stood alone on the dark hillside, his warm breath making tiny clouds in the frosty air, waiting for the final piece of his goodbye from this tiny world with all its memories you’re always gonna pull me through...my Ianto...my gorgeous beautiful Ianto...and I won’t be returning...

He hugged Gwen and pressed the relevant buttons on his wrist strap... “...take care of yourself...” he told her, “I have to go, but I’ll be back...”

Gwen smiled through her tears and nodded, stepping back into the warm arms of her husband. They watched as Jack became a shimmer of light and vanished...

As he travelled through the dark expanse of space he knew he’d never be alone again...whenever you’re close to me, you’re like the sun... Some people touch you in ways you never envisage and Ianto was now a part of him for all eternity – their roles were reversed and everyday you’re telling me, I am the one... he could see that eyebrow quirk up, that tiny smile that tugged at the corners of his soft and sensual mouth...almost feel those warm lips pressed against his own...you are the one who makes me shine... Ianto...my Ianto...you’re like the sun...

Jack soared as Ianto lived on in his heart...

End

 Title: The one I’ve waited for
Author: zazajb
Rating: NC-17, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Team
Spoilers – none, set mid S2
Summary: A close call prompts some inner scrutiny of how they feel... Words 1330

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & TW_classic & tw_proper[apologies to those getting this multiple times]

A/N This is for toshiani007     Happy Birthday love xxx

The one I’ve waited for: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b01C-TKX9pI This is such a beautiful song...

The one I’ve waited for

Ianto hissed as Jack used the tweezers to pull the shards of glass from the cut at the back of his head. Pausing, Jack moved to brush his lips gently against the young man’s temple, “...nearly done...or I can call Owen...he is our medic after all...”

Grimacing at the team of road workers with pneumatic drills currently at work inside his skull, Ianto shook his head briefly, “...no, I‘m fine...and Tosh needs him more than I do... He looked into Jack’s blue grey eyes, noting the guilt that dulled the usual sparkle, “...it wasn’t your fault, cariad...and she’s fine...”

“Yea...but she almost wasn’t...if you hadn’t pushed her out of the way...”

“How were we supposed to know that it could morph into a giant ball of razor-sharp teeth when threatened? It just looked like a big purple ladybird...bloody aliens! Anyway, it gives Owen an excuse to cuddle up close to Tosh...it’s a story way overdue, that one...maybe he’ll actually tell her how he feels...” he winced as another prod of the tweezers removed the final piece of glass, the irony of his words not lost on either of them – he and Jack had danced around their feelings for what felt like eternity...it had long ceased to be a relationship of convenience, no longer just sex –bloody good sex! – but neither had pushed to define it further...it just was...and that seemed to suit them...until one of them got hurt and then the questions swirled round in their heads once again...

Ianto bit down on his lip as Jack carefully washed the blood and grime away, replacing the red-tinged water several times until all the scrapes and cuts were clean, pressing soft kisses over every injury as it was revealed. Finally, he dropped a pill into the Welshman’s hand and handed him a glass of water, “...an Owen-Special-One-Pill-Cures-All...”

He watched as Ianto swallowed it and took the glass out of his hand, setting it down on the side, before sliding into the space between the young man’s knees as he wrapped him into a tight hug. Ianto sank into the comforting embrace, resting his head on the older man’s shoulder as his arms wound round Jack’s neck.

“You could’ve died out there tonight...” Jack’s voice was an anguished whisper, slightly muffled as he buried his face into Ianto’s chest.

“But I didn’t...I’m still very much here...” he tipped his Captain’s face up and kissed him softly, lips soft and responsive under his own as he pressed his body closer. Ianto pulled back from the embrace and met Jack’s gaze – those blue grey pools were shadowed with the heavy weight of responsibility and fear of loss... He smiled and brushed his thumbs tenderly over the older man’s cheeks, “...now are you going to take me to bed or..!” The rest of his sentence was lost as Jack’s lips crashed against his mouth and he was kissed into oblivion, tongues tangling excitedly as their blood supply fled south...

Coming up for air, Jack tugged Ianto off the autopsy table and led him to his office and down the ladder where he reclaimed his mouth passionately, leaving the young man breathless, seeing stars and dizzy with desire, his lips pink and swollen... He clung on tightly, his knees too weak to support him unaided as he let out a soft moan at the sensations coursing through his body – no-one kissed like Jack...the knee-melting pulses of pleasure left him tingling all over, his body crying out for Jack’s touch...

They surfaced to draw breath and sank straight back into more hot and wet, fiery kisses, fingers threading through hair and raking over bodies, clawing at clothing to tug shirts from waistbands to slide under to warm flesh below as nether regions strained against the woefully inadequate friction of their trousers...

Breathing hard, they broke apart and gazed into each other’s lust-blown eyes, wanton desire reflected in twin pools of blue... Jack reached for the buckle of Ianto’s belt and undressed him slowly, peppering every inch of skin with feather light kisses as it was exposed, finally leading him to his tiny bunk where he made love to him tenderly...almost reverently, the realisation of how close he’d come to losing the man that he loved...yes, loved...with everything he was...until they exploded together, every nerve ending on fire, every cell electrified and they flew amongst the stars...

Panting heavily, sweat beading his brow, pressed skin to skin as the intoxicating aroma of everything that was Jack surrounded him, Ianto felt complete... if I should die this very moment...I wouldn’t fear... He knew, one day, their luck would run out and he’d have to leave Jack alone but he wouldn’t change anything of their crazy life... for I’ve never known completeness like being here...

Jack slumped down next to him, tugging him into his arms so Ianto’s head rested on his Captain’s chest, listening to the reassuring thud of his heartbeat as they basked in a post-orgasmic glow...wrapped in the warmth of you...loving every breath of you...

Ianto knew, in that moment, that even if they never said those words...still in my heart this moment, or it might burst... he’d remember this... could we stay right here...’till the end of time –‘till the earth stops turning...

Jack had saved him...saved him from himself after Lisa, when all had seemed lost and he’d been so broken... Jack had put him together again, showing him what wonders life...and love...could hold... wanna love you ‘till the seas run dry...I’ve found the one I’ve waited for...

Jack listened to Ianto’s soft pants as their bodies came down from the bliss of release and he snuggled in close, hot skin to hot skin...all this time I’ve loved you... the realisation kicked in hard – he never wanted to be apart from his gorgeous Welshman...he was the one...and never known your face...

His breath caught in his throat as Ianto entwined their fingers and squeezed tight... all this time I’ve missed you and searched this human race... Here, in Ianto’s arms, was the one place he could be himself... here is true peace...here, my heart knows calm... He wasn’t Captain Jack Harkness, leader of Torchwood Three, protector of Cardiff...he was just Jack... Ianto didn’t judge him and find him wanting...he just accepted him as he was... safe in your soul, bathed in your sighs...

Jack tipped Ianto’s face up to kiss him softly...tenderly...pouring the full meaning of those words he could never say into the kiss... wanna stay right here until the end of time... His arms closed convulsively around the young man as he rolled them over to end up on top of his Welshman... ‘till the earth stops turning... knowing he could never let him go... gonna love you ‘till the seas run dry...

They gazed into each other’s eyes, love blazing out of twin blue pools... No words were needed to know how each was feeling... I’ve found the one I’ve waited for... as their lips met and they gave themselves to the moment... all I’ve known...all I’ve done...all I’ve felt was leading to this... They broke apart, trembling from the intensity of emotion, every touch sparking an electric charge, before losing themselves in hot, wet, frantic kisses, teeth clashing as they crawled progressively further into each other’s mouths, wanton moans reverberating around the room as they celebrated the joy of being alive...I’ve found the one I’ve waited for...

End