Like the sun

[zazajb]

Title: Like the sun
Author: zazajb
Rating: R, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, team
Spoilers – set immediately after Captain Jack Harkness, end of S1, day 4 S3
Summary: After his return from 1941, Jack realises what Ianto means to him...retrospective reflection. Words 2300

Warning: angst, mention of character death, teeny tiny Gwen bashing with a very soft pillow, once!

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & tw_proper[apologies to those getting this multiple times]

A/N Yeah – I know – another songfic...but it bit me after I watched this episode the other day and I realised it needed a better ending and that led me to the dark side...it wasn’t supposed to be like this but it ran away...so please forgive me...

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpibMaa2WvU The words are so Janto....beautifully sung here by RyanDan

 

Like the sun

They exchanged worried looks as Jack strode into his office. Gwen moved to go after him, pausing when Tosh shook her head. “Let me...” Gwen shrugged - Tosh had been there with him... She’d go in after...

Tosh followed Jack into his office and poured two generous measures of whiskey from the decanter, handing one to her boss. “He’d have been so proud that you took his name...” she said softly, raising her glass as Jack’s eyes swam with unshed tears, “...to Captain Jack...”

Jack clinked their glasses briefly, “Captain Jack...” he repeated and swallowed his drink down in one, feeling it burning its way down his throat...

Tosh put a hand on his arm and squeezed gently, “thank you for taking care of me...” Smiling, she placed her glass back on the decanter tray and left the room. Outside she intercepted Gwen who was heading towards Jack’s office, “...not now,“ she said quietly, knowing that an interrogation was the last thing he needed, “...it’s not you he needs...” She met Gwen’s gaze, knowing that her words – chosen with deliberate care – would stoke the ever-present green Goblin that existed where Jack and Ianto were concerned... Gwen’s eyes narrowed at the determined expression on Tosh’s face, but she remained where she was as Tosh swung round to look at Ianto and nodded.

Ianto gave a tiny smile - just enough to curve the corners of his mouth - in quiet acknowledgement of Tosh’s efforts to protect Jack from Gwen’s need to have answers to everything...she’d get her answers – they’d all get the answers – but not now...

Jack was staring at his refilled glass when Ianto came in. He looked up to meet the Welshman’s gaze, his blue grey eyes glistening as he saw nothing but tenderness reflected in those crystal blue depths. Jack stifled a sob as Ianto opened his arms and his Captain fell into them, the barriers well and truly down now as he sobbed in the young man’s arms... Ianto held him tightly, rocking them gently as he threaded his fingers through Jack’s hair...

Eventually Jack’s breathing slowed and he relaxed in the warmth of the embrace. Moving carefully, Ianto steered them over to the sofa and sank down onto it, Jack curling up next to him, pressing close, their fingers entwined... “You want to tell me about it?” Ianto’s soft Welsh vowels whispered against the older man’s ear and he shivered as goose bumps trailed over his skin...

“It was war time...1941...he was...he was so...” his voice trailed off, unable to find the words...

“He was you...” Ianto supplied gently, “Captain Jack Harkness...the man whose name you took...”

“Yes...” Jack’s hoarse whisper was barely audible

”You never expected to meet him...”

“No...I knew he was going to die...and there was nothing I could do for him...” Jack’s anguish was palpable. “Ianto...”

“Sshh, it’s ok...” Ianto pressed a light kiss to his Captain’s hair.

“No...no...you don’t understand...” Jack was trembling, on the verge of tears again...

Ianto tightened his hold, “...tell me...but only if you want to...” his voice soft and reassuring as his stomach churned inside...wondering – did he really want to know? Technically it was sixty odd years ago – way in the past...but... He shoved the thought aside, Jack needed him...here...now...and that’s all that mattered...

“He was so lonely...he couldn’t show then who he really was...he worked out that he was going to die and...and...” Jack reached up and pulled Ianto’s face towards him, kissing him hungrily, desperately...begging forgiveness... Ianto’s blood ran cold, tortuous thoughts tumbling through his brain, each progressively worse than the previous one...

“and I...” Jack broke down into fresh sobs, curling his fingers tightly into his Welshman’s lapels. He took a deep breath in, “wedancedIkissedhimgoodbye...’m sorry...” his words all running into each other, barely discernible...

“Sshh...you gave him something real...he died as him...the real him...and now he lives on – a hero...as a hero...” He tipped Jack’s face up towards him and kissed him tenderly, tongues seeking comfort in their familiar dance...Ianto tasting the lingering smoky tang of the whiskey against the backdrop of everything that was Jack... He moaned softly into the kiss, his relief that Jack’s actions were limited to dancing and kissing giving way to a rising passion and a need to possess his Captain... He would’ve understood if it’d been more...if Jack had...with Jack...would’ve dealt with it...but...  

Jack kissed back; hard, feral want building in unstoppable waves... He pulled back from his Welshman’s soft and sensual lips and grazed his teeth down the side of his neck...”bed...now...” he growled, lust and need blazing out of his eyes as he met the young man’s gaze...

Ianto stood up and carefully entwined their fingers before heading towards the ladder that led to Jack’s bunker and they threw themselves down it, mouths crashing together as they tumbled on to the tiny bunk...

Tosh watched as they disappeared from sight, tears sparkling in her eyes... “Tosh...?” Gwen’s voice was shaky...she needed to know, yet...

Tosh smiled through her tears, “...let’s go and get some tea and I’ll tell you about a wonderful man we met in 1941...” They headed off towards the kitchen, “...it was wartime and it was beautiful...”

From the top of the stairs down to autopsy, Owen watched the girls head towards the kitchen. He smiled, they’d be ok...they’d all be ok...now he just had to finish dressing his wound...bloody tea boy... he thought with grudging admiration for the loyalty the young man had shown for his beliefs...his Captain...the man he loved... As he dug the final shards of shrapnel out of his shoulder, Owen felt a twinge of guilt for the hurtful things he’d said to Ianto...on the whole he deserved this bullet he concluded ruefully... He grimaced and began to dress the gaping wound. Hopefully the girls would bring him a cup of tea...

Down in Jack’s bunker, Ianto was slowly undressing his Captain, peeling each layer of fabric from his body, his eyes locked on Jack’s. As he tugged the t-shirt over his head and flung it away, he pulled him close and crushed their lips together, driving his tongue into the other man’s mouth to explore with possessive intent. Jack melted against his Welshman, moaning when Ianto tore his mouth away and latched onto Jack’s neck, nipping the soft skin fiercely to leave a trail of purple bruises...marking him as mineminemine...

Their lovemaking alternated between fierce and possessive and tender and loving, Ianto taking his Captain to the very edge of release before backing off until Jack was a quivering jelly, aware of nothing but the warmth of Ianto’s mouth and the touch of his hands on heated skin...sensation after sensation driving him to a plane of pure bliss until they finally exploded together, each crying out the other’s name...wave upon wave of pleasure that left nerve endings tingling and every cell in their bodies charged with electricity and they collapsed in each other’s arms, panting hard as they came down from their orgasmic high...

Ianto cupped Jack’s face and kissed him softly, “...you ok?”

Jack’s mumbled reply was lost against his lips as he pressed their mouths together in a deep lingering kiss that told Ianto all he needed to know...They slid under the sheets and curled up together, the stresses and worry of the past 48 hours coupled with the intensity of their climax seeing them claimed swiftly by peaceful slumber.

In the main hub, Tosh, Gwen and Owen talked quietly over their tea, discussing the seemingly all-round positive outcome to recent events...opening the rift had been the right thing to do... They packed away and went home...as unbeknown to them, the rift quietly splintered around them...

Jack stirred. His eyelids fluttered open and a gentle smile spread across his face. He snuggled closer to the sleeping man in his arms and inhaled, the scent that was Ianto filling him with a serene sense of peace that he’d not felt in a very long time... Brushing his lips lightly against the warm pale skin of Ianto’s shoulder, he wondered when this gorgeous man had come to mean so much to him... Jack Harkness had kept his emotions under lock and key for so many years...his defence against the hurt and loss when they inevitably left him alone...again...he’d promised himself he wouldn’t...couldn’t do this again...

Somehow this unassuming Welshman had found a way through all his defences, quietly dismantling all his barriers to settle himself securely in his Captain’s heart...he’d tried to resist him...he really had...I tried to hide from you...but I failed... He thought of the times he’d walked away, headed off to a rooftop to brood, knowing he’d left Ianto hurt and confused...but the younger man had always forgiven him...loved him and accepted him for who he was...as he was...with no agenda...

A warmth spread through him as images of Ianto flooded his head...working in the archives...making the coffee...stood at his shoulder, supporting him with unquestioning loyalty...pressed against the wall as they writhed against each other...bent over his desk when everyone else had gone home...that first time, after the Beacons, leading him down to his tiny bunk...the first time he’d asked Ianto to stay...there was no denying it...no hiding from how he felt about this beautiful man...I tried to lie to you about how I felt...

After Jasmine, when the team had blamed him...hated him...he’d been there...Ianto had held him, soothed him and told him he’d done what was needed...Ianto had understood he wasn’t a monster – not any more...and even in my darkest times, you gave me light...

And slowly the barriers crumbled under the young man’s belief that his Captain was a good man...a man whom he loved with everything he was...and Jack flourished in the light of that love...I never knew this kinda love could feel so right...

With Ianto beside him Jack knew he was a better person...when I’m in your arms, I find myself believing...and he wanted to be with him for ever...we could be anywhere...so I can keep on dreaming...

He pressed gentle kisses to Ianto’s hair, neck, shoulder...any part of him he could reach...when he was with him, the darkness was less oppressive, his demons were kept at bay and he was simply Jack... Ianto shifted backwards, moving towards the touch, a tiny smile curving his lips as he slept...Jack’s hold tightened around his waist...whenever you’re close to me...you’re like the sun – you feel like the sun...

Jack frowned, trying to remember the exact moment when he’d realised that Ianto lit up his world, when he’d realised that the air was less vibrant when the Welshman wasn’t around...colours dulled and sounds were muted...and everyday you’re telling me I am the one – I am the one? – who makes you shine...

He never realised ‘till now that he’d die a thousand times if it kept his Welshman safer...that he couldn’t bear to lose him...God that hurt to think about...he knew that time would come...one day...and I know wherever you want me to, I’ll go... he knew that the young man’s fire and passion would stay with him...he was part of him now...and would always be...and even when you’re not with me, I feel you there – I only have to look and see, and I’ll know where...

Jack blinked rapidly, the tears that filled his eyes as he recalled holding Ianto in his arms as the young man took his final breath, as he promised never to forget him... He hugged the body of the man he loved with all his heart, his heart that was breaking...no, shattering into a million pieces, even as he felt his own life force draining away....when I’m holding you, the world can stop its turning...

Now, as he stood alone on the dark hillside, his warm breath making tiny clouds in the frosty air, waiting for the final piece of his goodbye from this tiny world with all its memories you’re always gonna pull me through...my Ianto...my gorgeous beautiful Ianto...and I won’t be returning...

He hugged Gwen and pressed the relevant buttons on his wrist strap... “...take care of yourself...” he told her, “I have to go, but I’ll be back...”

Gwen smiled through her tears and nodded, stepping back into the warm arms of her husband. They watched as Jack became a shimmer of light and vanished...

As he travelled through the dark expanse of space he knew he’d never be alone again...whenever you’re close to me, you’re like the sun... Some people touch you in ways you never envisage and Ianto was now a part of him for all eternity – their roles were reversed and everyday you’re telling me, I am the one... he could see that eyebrow quirk up, that tiny smile that tugged at the corners of his soft and sensual mouth...almost feel those warm lips pressed against his own...you are the one who makes me shine... Ianto...my Ianto...you’re like the sun...

Jack soared as Ianto lived on in his heart...

End