zazajb | In your arms... (Reply)

Title: In your arms
Author: zazajb
Rating: NC-17, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, team
Spoilers – none, set immediately after Countrycide S1
Summary: Nightmares of the events in the Brecon Beacons leave Ianto needing comfort.... Words 3350 Warnings: mild horror

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time

X-posted Jantolution, jackxianto & TW_classic & tw_proper[apologies to those getting this multiple times]

A/N Iantosdreamer and I were missing the redisourcolour challenges so we decided to challenge each other – her words for me - Theme: scared; night, corner, raindrops ‘I’ll promise to look after you”

This is for badly_knitted ...wish I was closer... Thinking of you with love *hugs ~~tight~~ carefully, mindful of migraine*

In your arms...

It was two days after the Brecon Beacons and some of his bruises were starting to turn into spectacular displays of yellow and green amongst a backdrop of black and blue, all standing out starkly against his pale skin. His cracked ribs hurt and he ached from head to foot. He moved carefully and painfully around the hub but was doggedly determined to do his job.

At least the team were now treating him as a human being rather than a leper – not that he had blamed them after...after Lisa...the dull ache reverberating in his chest was nothing to do with the cannibals... He shook his head minutely and pushed the thoughts away. Time for the final round of coffee... Slowly ascending the stairs he felt the stare fixed on his back and he glanced out the corner of his eye to find Jack watching him intently... Jack...just looking at him made his heart beat faster...

Snatches of memories from his suspension flitted across his brain – Jack holding him close as he cried, Jack kissing him softly, tenderly, soothing away the hurt, even if only temporarily...Jack looking at him like he could see right through him, deep into the confused and tortured heart of his tangled emotions...

His body cried out for Jack, to be held and kissed...and more...his rational mind wanted to hate him for killing Lisa...for ruthlessly setting Myfanwy on the woman he loved...but she wasn’t that woman - he knew that now, so it was ok not to hate him...but it was wrong to want him...like that... His Tad’s voice echoed in his head “sodding poofter had it coming...” as he read aloud a story in the local newspaper of the brutal murder of a young gay man...This kind of want was wrong...but it didn’t feel wrong...it felt right..he wanted it...wanted Jack...the battle in his head waged onwards...

With a start he came back to the present, realising that Jack was now looking concerned... He gave a tiny smile and turned back, resuming his slow climb to the kitchen. Once the coffee was brewing he leant forward against the worktop and covered his face with his hands, biting back the sobs that threatened to engulf him.

Lost in tortuous thought, self loathing and general despair, he didn’t realise the older man had come to find him until a warm hand was placed gently on his back and he jumped, grunting as red hot pain shot through him in protest at the sudden movement. He turned slowly, trying desperately to ignore his heart thudding double-time and the spikes of desire twitching in his groin...

“Hey...” Jack spoke softly, “you ok..?”

Ianto didn’t trust himself to speak, so just nodded, not meeting Jack’s eyes, biting hard on his bottom lip to stop it from trembling...

Gentle fingers tipped his chin up so he could meet the worried gaze in those endless blue grey eyes, his worldly-wise Captain seeing at a glance that all was not ok... He folded him into his arms, encouraging the young man to rest his head on his shoulder while he stroked his hair...”it’s going to be ok...I promise to look after you...” he whispered.

Ianto leant against the warmth of Jack’s body, giving in to the little voice at the back of his head and snaked his arms around the older man, rubbing his cheek against the soft fabric of his shirt and breathing in the scent that was uniquely Jack. He sighed deeply and pressed closer...

“Better..?”

Ianto mumbled incoherently into Jack’s shoulder, tightening his grip despite the pain in his ribs. Somehow when he was with Jack nothing else seemed to matter...he felt safe...he closed his eyes, letting the weariness wash over him...

They remained still for long minutes until Jack pulled back, gently, not wanting to hurt the young Welshman. He brushed his lips lightly over Ianto’s. “Coffee...then home – get some rest...ok...” Releasing him, he stepped back and watched as Ianto poured out the coffees, adding cream and sugar to those who needed it and placing a plate of chocolate biscuits on the tray before picking it up carefully, wincing as pain shot through him.

Jack watched him limp down the stairs then hand out the drinks and biscuits. Tosh accepted hers with a smile and quiet thanks, glancing up from her work to make eye contact, Gwen nodded her thanks, also with a small smile and Owen grunted a gruff “thanks, tea boy...” without looking at him... He was almost at the top of the steps from autopsy when Owen called out, asking about his pain levels, offering both pain relief and sleeping pills... Ianto thanked him, declining both...

Finally, he took Jack’s coffee to his office and set it down on the desk, turning and colliding with the Captain as one attempted to leave the office and the other entered at speed... Ianto gasped as his body protested wildly at the impact and he staggered into Jack’s outstretched arms... “...back again so soon..?! Not that I mind..!” he leered at him, drawing a blush across the young man’s cheeks as he attempted to wriggle away...before Jack could feel the hardness in his trousers.

“....see you tomorrow...sir...”

Back home at his flat, Ianto stood under the shower, feeling the warmth of the water soothing some of his aches and pains. He closed his eyes and ran his hands gingerly over his chest, bubbles from the shower gel disguising the welts so he could almost make believe it had never happened...he hadn’t been tenderised...hadn’t had a meat cleaver at his throat...he shuddered violently as waves of nausea ran through him, his eyes flew open in an attempt to escape the visions of horror in his mind...

Jack...think of Jack...how he’d held him and soothed him and gently bathed his wounds...how his eyes had shown a vulnerability only recently discovered...after Jasmine and the faeries...a Jack who could hurt, who could question his actions even as he knew they were the right ones...a Jack he wanted to spend more and more time with...a Jack he was falling for... His hands had settled in his groin, absently stroking, as his thoughts had turned to his Captain and he realised he was rock hard...this was starting to become a habit...as he increased the motion of his hand, gasping his release after an embarrassingly short space of time...

Sliding under his quilt he closed his eyes and was grateful when exhaustion-inspired sleep claimed him...

He was dreaming...he was back in that dingy stinking cellar, there was blood everywhere and someone was laughing-a cold hysterical laugh that filled him with terror... Tosh, he needed to save Tosh...he tried to roll over but his hands and feet were tied...he fought against the rope binding him, feeling it bite deep into his flesh, finally managing to turn round... A scream froze in his throat as he came face to face with Tosh’s severed head...it was her blood he was laying in...he’d failed...she was dead and now it was his turn...the meat cleaver swung in an arc high above him as a hand grabbed hold of his hair to pull his head back, exposing his neck...

He jerked awake, shudders of horror shaking his body and a layer of sweat beading on his skin...he could still feel the cleaver, ice cold against his neck and his fingers flew automatically to brush against the scab that had formed over the cut on his throat...

Ianto climbed out of bed on shaking legs and staggered to the bathroom where he threw up in the toilet, retching painfully as he’d eaten nothing since breakfast. He turned on the shower and stood under the warm spray, scrubbing his body roughly to rid himself of the sensation of Tosh’s blood coating his flesh... As the water ran cold he climbed out and dried himself, cleaned his teeth and dressed in his suit...his flat felt oppressive and threatening...he had to get out...so he might as well go to work...to the hub...to Jack...

It was 2:40am and Jack had just returned from a spell on the roof of the Millenium Centre to clear his head, taking in the chill of the night air as he turned his face up to feel the soft caress of gentle raindrops on his skin...he loved this planet and its eco-systems...

Now he back was in his office, reluctantly reaching for the pile of files that he’d ignored earlier... The roller door grated open and Ianto stepped in. He was pale – aside from the bruises- dark shadows under his eyes and he looked so vulnerable... Jack jumped from his chair and practically flew down to meet him, folding him into his arms and stroking his back...

“...nightmare...Tosh...too late...dead...so much blood...” his body shook uncontrollably.

Jack held him tight, whispering in his ear, soothing and calming, finally loosening his hold so he could pull back enough to press a tender kiss to the young man’s lips. Ianto tangled his hands in his Captain’s hair and kissed him back, wildly, passionately, thrusting his tongue into the older man’s mouth, pressing his body hard against him...

“...make me forget...please Jack...” he gasped when they came up for air, reaching his hand down to press against the hot bulge in Jack’s trousers...”I need you...sir...please...”

Jack pulled back and looked searchingly at him. “What do you want..?”

“You...everything...but I’ve never...” his voice trailed away uncertainly, the blush rising across his cheekbones.

“I could just give you retcon..?...if you want to forget...”

“No, Jack...I want you...” He buried his face in the older man’s shoulder, suddenly very aware that he’d actually voiced his desires...what if he said no..?...what if he couldn’t do...it...right?...what if..?

Jack silenced his fears with a kiss so full of passion it made his head spin and he moaned against his mouth, his body aching with longing. When they finally pulled apart he was light-headed and breathless, his lips tingling... Wordlessly, Jack took his hand and led him to his office then down to his cubbyhole where he pressed him up against the ladder to kiss him into oblivion once more.

Ianto was weak at the knees when they resurfaced and he held on tight, gasping...

“...ok so far..? We can stop any time you want...” Jack whispered, breath hot against the Welshman’s ear, sending tiny shivers down his spine...

Arching his body against his Captain so he could feel his arousal straining against his trousers, Ianto pulled him back for another hot and messy kiss, his hands sliding down to rest on Jack’s hips. They came up for air, Jack pulling back to look deep into the young man’s eyes, checking before he went any further...

Blushing at the close scrutiny, Ianto gave a tiny smile as they both reached towards the other’s clothes, Ianto sliding Jack’s braces off his shoulders before his shaking hands began unbuttoning his shirt...Jack running his hands upwards under Ianto’s jacket to slide it off his shoulders where it fell to the floor, before slowly undoing his waistcoat and then loosening the red silk at his neck, keeping his eyes fixed on the younger man’s... He pulled the tie from his collar and dropped it to the floor, following it with his waistcoat, before reaching towards the buttons on his shirt...checking again before he continued.

Ianto had run out of buttons on Jack’s shirt and he pushed it off the older man’s shoulders, then, with hands that shook, he tugged the undershirt out from his trousers, hesitating, he bit down on his bottom lip nervously...

Jack smiled encouragingly and cupped the Welshman’s face, stroking his cheek softly with his thumb, before resuming his careful unbuttoning of his shirt, slowly revealing his chest with its soft covering of hair that had Jack itching to run his hands over...He reined himself in, not wanting to rush the young man...

Ianto took a deep breath and slid his hands under the fabric of Jack’s t-shirt, his hands trembling as they made contact with the warm body beneath...he let out a sigh and ran his fingers up his Captain’s back, relishing the feel of his soft skin. Emboldened, he pushed the t-shirt up and tugged it over Jack’s head, dropping it to the floor before running his fingers over the older man’s smooth chest, desire raging through him.

Wrapping the young man into his arms, Jack slid his shirt off where it joined the rest of their discarded clothing. He pressed his mouth to those soft and sensual lips, their tongues dancing as they explored each other, feeling the shudders that shook the Welshman’s body and the soft moans that escaped him as they kissed...the feel of skin pressed to skin sending their senses soaring...

Ianto tangled one hand in his Captain’s hair, the other pressed in the small of his back, keeping him close as he was kissed with a passion that made his head swim and he lost himself in the intoxicating sensation that was Jack...coming up briefly for air before sinking back into exhilarating kiss after kiss...finally pulling apart, gasping, lips swollen, cheeks flushed, knees weak...

“...you ok..?”

“mmmnn...” Ianto nodded, incapable of coherent speech, his senses blown...

Jack moved them to his tiny cot and pushed the young man gently until he was lying back, his heart pounding frantically, those delicious pink lips parted...

Jack quickly toed off his boots and socks as he untied Ianto’s laces and slipped off his shoes and socks, adding them to the pile of clothing on the floor. He moved back towards the Welshman and carefully slid in beside him, their bodies pressing together in the restricted space. Jack kissed his mouth tenderly before planting soft kisses down the side of his neck, feeling him trembling at the touch. He continued his trail of kisses across his throat, stroking his fingers reassuringly through the young man’s hair, before moving down...

Ianto’s breath became a series of tiny gasps as Jack’s tongue explored his chest and teased his nipples, gently grazing his teeth over the nubs of flesh, feeling them harden under his attention...his body shook with desire and he moaned softly...

Sliding back up to reclaim his lips, Jack’s hands moved to unbuckle Ianto’s belt, tugging it out of the loops and dropping it over the side of the bed, before returning to the button on his trousers, feeling the young man’s breath hitch as he slid down his zip and eased his trousers and boxers down to join the heap on the floor... Pulling away he gazed into Ianto’s eyes...checking...seeing his own desire reflected in those shining blue pools...

Shuffling backwards in the confined space, Jack quickly shed his own trousers and underwear before he resumed his exploration of Ianto’s body, reaching one hand out to entwine with the younger man’s as he kissed his way down across his stomach, moving lower... He paused to glance up before moving any further – Ianto’s eyes were closed, his body arched off the bed and his gorgeously kiss-swollen lips were parted, tiny sighs escaping him as his body quivered in anticipation...

Jack lowered his gaze and blew softly over the tip, drawing a wanton moan from the Welshman’s lips that turned into a strangled gasp as Jack took him into his mouth, rolling his tongue and lightly grazing with his teeth...feeling Ianto writhing beneath him, his hips bucking, heart hammering in his chest as his senses swam...

Ianto gripped Jack’s hand tightly as he lost himself in delicious sensation never before experienced – his body was on fire, white hot tendrils of pleasure coursed through him and tingles stretched from his head to his toes...this was way beyond pleasure...the waves of exquisite release building slowly, gathering pace until they burst through and he came, crying out Jack’s name as he arched his shuddering body and his eyelids fluttered, all movements totally beyond his control...

Moving swiftly back up his body, Jack crushed his lips to Ianto’s, sliding his tongue into the young man’s mouth so he could taste himself as they kissed...lost in post orgasmic bliss, trembling through the after-shocks as his body slowly returned to normal...

When they pulled apart to draw breath, Ianto opened his eyes to find himself gazing into Jack’s sparkling blue grey ones, a gentle smile on his lips, “...you ok..?”

“...that was...just...fucking amazing..!” he gasped and he tugged Jack back for another kiss, tongues tangling lazily, until they ran out of air and broke apart panting.

“...you had enough...or you want to carry on..?” Jack pressed his body against the young man’s, his own arousal nudging against his stomach...

A brief look of trepidation flew across the Welshman’s face, to be swiftly chased away as he reached for the older man, “I want...you...everything...” He arched against his Captain as his lips were claimed in a kiss that took his breath away and he was wrapped in a tight embrace as Jack rolled over to finish on top of him...

Kiss followed kiss as Jack reached into his bedside drawer to retrieve the lube, flipping the lid he coated three fingers, sliding his hand down to brush over the entrance to Ianto’s body, stroking gently, feeling the young man shudder involuntarily, then freeze as he pressed the tip of his finger inside... He pulled his hand away instantly as the Welshman’s eyes flew open in alarm... ”...you want to stop..?” his voice was soft, gentle and he smiled reassuringly...

“...no...I want you...it’s just...” fear mingled with desire...

“...I know...relax...concentrate on the sensations...and we’ll stop...all you have to do is say...at any point...” his voice was cut off as the young man crushed their lips together and thrust his body towards his Captain...

They lost themselves in the kiss as Jack resumed his gentle stroking, pressing a finger in slowly, preparing him, angling to brush that sweet spot to draw a startled gasp from his young lover, adding a second finger and then a third, kiss following kiss as Ianto writhed and trembled beneath him, moaning with every brush of that magic spot...

Removing his fingers, Jack coated himself in lube and pressed in slowly...gently...pausing when Ianto hissed, their eyes locked on each other... “...that feels amazing..!” Ianto gasped, thrusting his hips impatiently...

Jack moved slowly, deliberately, wanting this first time to be extra special, memorable... speeding up when the young man met his thrusts, pushing up towards him as blissful, indescribable sensations flooded his body...multiplying when Jack reached for him, pumping in time to their movements...

Ianto reached up, pulling the older man down for a messy, open-mouthed kiss, every cell in his body tingling with electricity as he hit his second climax and he cried out against Jack’s mouth, wave after wave of pleasure washing over him, driving Jack to his own release and they shuddered in unison, finally collapsing in a tangled heap, panting hard, enjoying the post-orgasmic glow that radiated through their bodies.

They lay there, kissing softly...”thank you, Jack...” Ianto mumbled into his neck as his Captain folded him into a warm hug...

Reaching into the drawer for wipes, Jack cleaned them up and urged the young man under the covers, before sliding in beside him and wrapping his arms around him. “...how do you feel now?” he whispered softly against Ianto’s ear.

Ianto snuggled in closer, “...safe...I feel safe...in your arms...” his eyelids fluttered shut as Jack kissed him gently and tightened his hold as they drifted into contented sleep...

End