I won't send roses...

[zazajb]

Title: I won’t send roses...
Author: zazajb
Rating: R, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, team
Summary:   Set mid s2, Alien flowers, an infatuation and enough blackmail photos to last a lifetime! Words 2350

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - anything you recognise belongs to RTD and the BBC, this is purely for fun.
X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & TW_classic , tw_proper[apologies to those getting this multiple times]

A/N Written for the redisourcolour challenge #10  - Theme: Flowers; wipe, route, clear ‘Thank you so much’

A/N1 Dedicated to jedi_harkness  because the last one I wrote her made her cry so I owe her a smile!

I won’t send roses...

“Jack..!” Tosh frowned as she listened to the emergency call in her ear, before turning to look up at her boss who was leaning on the railings outside his office, his eyes fixed on the perfectly attired, blue pinstriped-clad backside of his beloved Welshman as he handed out the mugs of coffee on the main floor of the hub.

“Huh? Tosh..?” Jack blinked and refocused, turning his gaze towards the pretty tech genius.

Tosh indicated her comm. unit “...really odd call from the electricity board to the police...it sounds like they had a suspect house stealing power so they asked for police presence, turns out it was draining power from next door so the police thought it might me a cannabis farm and now everyone’s declaring their undying love... The dispatch caller is a bit confused and I must admit, I am too...now PC 726 is singing...uh, ‘everything I do, I do it all for you..!” She pulled her comm. unit out her ear and dropped it onto her desk “I can’t listen to that – the man’s completely tone deaf! It sounds like a case for Torchwood!”

Jack grinned and slid down the handrail, landing with a thud at Ianto’s feet as the Welshman approached the stairs. He cupped his hands around the young man’s face and planted a wet and noisy kiss on his lips before grabbing his mug off the tray and bouncing over to Tosh’s workstation.

Ianto blushed and grinned happily at the same time, Jack’s unexpected displays of affection always secretly thrilled him, yet never failed to turn his face pink...

“Put the bloody tea boy down, Harkness!” Owen leant on the wall at the top of the steps from autopsy, sipping his coffee. It was a slow day alien-wise and the medic was putting off the inevitable – namely tackling his mountainous backlog of reports that covered his desk in haphazard piles... In the meantime it was much more fun to tease Ianto!

Ianto rolled his eyes as Jack blew him a kiss and smiled sweetly at the acerbic medic, “haven’t you got reports to do..lots and lots of reports..?” the comment enough to wipe the smirk off his face instantly.

Owen scowled and detached himself from the wall as he glanced at Jack, waiting for the ‘well get on with them then’ command which signalled the end of his tease-the-tea-boy interlude... His expression changed to one of relief as Jack read the transcript of the emergency call and handed out assignments, “Owen, as our resident alien flora expert, you’re with me...Ianto, you and Tosh see what you can find out about the history of this house...the usual...oh, and contact Gwen – when she’s done retconning the library staff, get her to find out what’s happening with that police constable with the bad taste in music...” he paused and scanned the screen, “...PC 726...” he grinned, “ok, kids, let’s go!”

He strode over to the roller door where Ianto was now waiting with his coat and the keys to the SUV. Sliding into the heavy wool he leant back into the touch as Ianto smoothed it over his shoulders, the action intimate and familiar. He turned and pressed a light kiss on the end of his Welshman’s button nose before sweeping through the door, his coat billowing impressively behind him.

Tosh giggled as Owen stopped in front of Ianto and playfully pursed up his lips “don’t I get a kiss goodbye?”

The eyes rolled “...in your dreams Owen!”

“O-w-e-n..!” floated back down the corridor and the medic grinned before hurrying after his Captain.

Tosh and Ianto chuckled as the roller door closed; an exuberant Jack always had an enlivening effect on the team so it was good to have something other than paperwork to work on as Jack positively chafed with nothing but reports to do...

“Okay, you see what you can find out about that house and I’ll check in with Gwen...” Ianto moved across to Gwen’s workstation and opened the archived files on alien flora as he called Gwen’s mobile.

“Hi, you done with the li...yeah, can you get over to the cop shop and check up on a PC 726, sorry, don’t have a name...bad case of singing the blues...Jack and Owen have gone to check out a house with suspect flowers...I know, just in time for Valentine’s...” He paused as Tosh waved at him, “Right, gotta go...yeah, they’re on comms...I’ll let you know if we find anything...”

Snapping his mobile closed he moved to stand behind Tosh as she pointed at her screen. The owner of the house, one Toby Miles, 24, six counts of petty theft and handling stolen goods, had a rather unusual advert on-line...he was apparently guaranteeing – or your money back! – that one sniff of his love potion Paper Whites would bring undying love from the object of your desire... Why send a dozen red roses when you can give one Paper White... emblazoned across the screen...

Tosh pointed to the price and their mouths fell open, “thirty quid for one flower?” Ianto was incredulous, watching as Tosh called up the species specifics...

‘Paper Whites (Narcissus tazetta) are one of the smaller flowered Narcissi which belong to the Jonquilla cultivar. Their bright white flowers are quietly fragrant...’ they read together.

Ianto touched his comm. unit. “Jack..?”

“Hang on a minute...Owen...enough! we’ve got work to do, quit fooling about..! Okay, Ianto?”

“We’ve identified the owner, a Toby Miles, and he’s got an interesting ad on the net that claims one sniff of his magic flowers will map a direct route to the heart of your chosen Valentine...”

There was a scuffling sound at the other end, followed by some heavy breathing and a muttered curse...

“Jack...?”

“It would seem that his claim is correct and not just your chosen Valentine! I’d say it works on the first person you see after you’ve inhaled its scent...Owen has, shall we say, shown some unusual interest in me since he examined these bloody flowers...”

Ianto felt the sudden grumblings of jealousy at the thought of his Captain and their medic, even though he knew that the idea was ridiculous... He bit his lip...hard...

“Ianto?” Jack’s voice held a mix of impatience and anxiety, “...you know there’s nothi...”

“We’ve got the ad on the screen...” Ianto cut across Jack, “can you send us a picture of the actual plant so we can check it against the alien database...we might find a way to counteract the effects...”

“Yes please..!” Jack groaned as Owen whined plaintively in the background, “please...Jack, I just want to hold your coat...”

“Photo, Jack, now...and you can tell him that’s my job!” He looked at Tosh as she nodded; the picture was up on screen... Together they compared the photo with the file they’d downloaded on Paper Whites and there were clear similarities but the loft full of white flowers were most definitely of alien origin...

Ianto stepped across to Gwen’s workstation and began a search through the alien flora database. Moments later the screen flashed – it had found a match... “Jack...we’ve found a match on the database and they’re Amaryllidaceae...bad news is their scent is a powerful aphrodisiac but it doesn’t say how to counteract the effects... I’m going to have a look in the archives in case there’s something down there – I’m sure I read something about mind control flora, but no name...”

“Okay, let me know as soon as you find anything... Tosh, any luck tracing this Toby Miles yet? We need to know where these things came from...”

“Nothing yet Jack...I’ll let you know...”

“Do that...have you heard from Gwen yet?”

“Jack...Tosh?”

“Gwen – perfect timing...what’ve you got for us?”

“I’ve found Toby Miles – here in the cells, he’s been arrested for stalking his Post-woman...and PC 726 has been sedated by the police doctor. Apparently he was trying to serenade one of the blokes from the Electricity board... Do you want me to bring Toby and the PC back to the hub?”

“Yeah, shove them in a cell till we get back and then could you work with Tosh to find the Post-woman and the Electric guy – we might need them if we ever find out how to break the effects...”

“Okay, I’m on it...” Gwen clicked her comms off.

“Tosh...I’m going to seal this place off and come back to the hub with my new biggest fan...could you sort out a hyper sedative to have ready when we get back...just in case I need to stop Owen from hurting himself – we don’t know how powerful this effect is yet...”

“No problem...we’ll be ready...”

Gwen had been back five minutes when Jack and Owen arrived. Owen trailed in after Jack like a lovesick puppy with a look of total adoration on his face. The girls giggled when Jack stopped to look at the screens with Toby’s advert and the alien database entry and Owen sidled in close enough to stroke his fingers through Jack’s hair, making the Captain jump. He glared round as Owen whispered reverently to no-one in particular, “...soft hair...lovely hair...”

Owen turned to Gwen, “I love his hair...soft lovely hair...I love my Captain...” he sighed wistfully and moved in closer.

Stifling their giggles, the girls watched as Jack slid an arm around Owen’s shoulders and the medic visibly swooned, resting his head on the older man’s chest. “It keeps him quiet!” he said briefly, “now any luck with our two other potential Valentines?”

Tosh nodded, I’ve got the addresses for both and Gwen’s just off to bring them in.

“Good, do whatever it takes. Hopefully we’ll have a cure by the time you get back...that’ll be good won’t it Owen?” he squeezed the medic’s shoulders as Owen smiled dreamily and snuggled in closer.

The roller door closed behind Gwen as Ianto reappeared from the archives, a dusty file in his hand. “Found it!” his eyebrows arched into his hair as he took in the sight of his Captain with an armful of adoring medic. Jack met his gaze apologetically and shook his head minutely as the Welshman moved to take his coat, earning himself a murderous glare from the besotted doctor.

“Is there a cure in there?”

“Yep...but...”

“I don’t care what it is! Just spit it out – I can’t take much more of this! Remind me never to complain about his moods and sarcasm ever again..!”

Ianto grinned. “This is one of the original Torchwood House files. It describes a white flower that was believed to have demonic powers...”

Jack sighed heavily, “the cure first...history lesson after...” he looked wearily into Ianto’s clear blue eyes, “...please...”

“You have to kiss him...”

“What?!”

“The infatuation is broken by a kiss...just like a fairy princess asleep in a tower...” Ianto broke off as Tosh giggled.

“You sure about this?”

“Yep! Sixteen cases documented, all cured, although the infected were then imprisoned for witchcraft so not the best outcome I guess... Oh, and extreme cold prevents release of the offending pollen...”

Jack caught Tosh’s eye and glanced up at the hidden CCTV cameras. The tech genius grinned and nodded as Jack tugged Owen into the open space between the work stations before sliding a hand behind his head and pressing their mouths together. Owen gasped and tangled his hands into Jack’s hair as he kissed back enthusiastically while Ianto looked on reluctantly, conflicting emotions battling it out in his head.

As they watched, Owen suddenly froze and the hands threading through Jack’s hair stilled, pulling his head back to break the kiss. “...what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“Saving you from the effects of an alien flower...cure comes kiss-wrapped – and apparently, it works!”

“Well thank you so much!” Owen snarked, obviously by way of thanks, dragging himself out of Jack’s embrace and wiping his mouth with his hand. He glanced over towards Ianto, “I could murder a coffee!”

Ianto rolled his eyes and headed towards the kitchen. They could all do with one, he thought as he pondered his reaction to the recent events. By the time the coffee was ready, Jack had debriefed a now rather embarrassed Owen who’d been given the job of ensuring that their other victims also received the appropriate cure from the imminent arrivals – Gwen was on her way in with the two rather bemused unwitting Valentines.

As Owen took them down to the cells to dispense first their cure and then a nice cup of retcon-laced tea, Gwen and Tosh printed out dozens of stills from the CCTV footage of Jack and Owen’s kiss and decorated every surface in autopsy with them, Jack and Ianto watching fondly from above.

“You know what this reminds me of?” Ianto murmured as he leant contentedly against his Captain.

“Your brief spell as a magic tea dragon?”

“Yeah, and Owen’s wild decorating of the kitchen with flags and stuffed toy dragons...” The Welshman grinned, “...this feels like a bit of divine retribution...but there’s no way I’m singing to him!”

Jack chuckled and leant in for a kiss, relishing the feel of those soft and sensual lips as they moved sweetly against his own and they lost themselves in the moment. Breaking apart after long enjoyable minutes, panting softly, Ianto brushed his lips against Jack’s ear, “Jack...about Valentine’s Day...”

Shuddering with mounting desire, Jack stroked his thumb tenderly down the side of Ianto’s face. “Don’t worry” he whispered, leaning in to capture his lips once more, “I won’t send roses...” as their kiss deepened and the stresses of the day faded into oblivion.

End

 Paper Whites http://www.theflowerexpert.com/content/growingflowers/growingflowers/paper-whites