All the time we have 6/8 + epilogue

[zazajb]

Title: All the time we have
Author: zazajb

Beta: The absolutely wonderful: badly_knitted 

Artwork by: the amazing penny_sieve 
Rating: NC-17, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M

Warnings: mentions of character death end s2 and day 4 CoE
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, team
Spoilers – possible all s1-3 TW, plus radio 4 play The Dead Line: set between TW s2 & s3, directly after Radio 4 play The Dead Line
Summary: Following Ianto’s speech to Jack in The Dead Line, Jack tries to show Ianto he’ll never be just a blip in time

Word count: 23100

Written for TW Big Bang Round 2

A/N Not done anything quite like this before and I have to say I loved every minute! I have to say a huge thank you to my wonderful beta badly_knitted who shared the highs and sent me cookies and hugs when I was doubting my sanity [that’s a lorry-load of cookies and even more hugs!] Thank you *hugs close* Also special thanks to the amazingly talented penny_sieve who took my words and gave them life with her awesome artwork – thank you so much *raises a glass to you*

A/N 2 Hope you enjoy...xxx

 

 

All the time we have 6/8 + epilogue

Chapter 6

Gwen was at her workstation sipping a cup of tea when they arrived back at the hub. She raised her eyebrows at their dishevelled appearance, “good lunch..?”

“It was ‘till the weevils...” Ianto snapped as he headed down to autopsy, Jack closely behind him. Ianto rummaged in the medicine store, opening a pot to tip a couple of Owen’s cure-all-ills industrial strength pain killers into his hand, swallowing them dry before shoving the pot back and slamming the door.

Jack surveyed him thoughtfully. “Sit!” he ordered, pushing the young man towards the autopsy table.

“I’m fine, Jack...stop fussing...”

“That wasn’t a request..!” as he picked him up and plonked him heavily on the table. “Now, don’t move...” he turned to the sink to fill a small bowl with warm water. Placing the bowl on the table, he eased Ianto’s jacket off, folding it neatly and placing it to one side. Next he loosened the torn and tattered tie and undid the top two buttons of the Welshman’s deep blue shirt this shirt brings out the colour of his eyes...

With a soft muslin cloth, Jack washed the blood and dirt off Ianto’s face and neck before replacing the water and moving to stand behind him so he could clean the wound to his head. It wasn’t serious, but bad enough that Owen would probably have stuck a couple of stitches in it...Miss you Owen...Tosh...I could’ve lost Ianto today...

He dabbed gently at the wound, frowning as the young man hissed in pain. “You ok..?”

“Yes, Jack...I told you – I’m fine...” he sighed wearily, the buoyant mood of lunch had long since evaporated. I could’ve died out there today...I don’t want to die from a fucking weevil bite...I don’t want to die...I don’t want to leave him...Jack...

“Hey...” Jack’s tone was softer. He moved back to face Ianto, wriggling into the gap between his knees and sliding his arms around the Welshman’s waist, tugging him closer. Ianto resisted briefly, before sinking into the reassuring warmth of the embrace, his arms winding round Jack’s neck as he buried his face in the older man’s hair.

“Sorry...” Ianto mumbled.

“Yeah...just be careful out there...you’re far too precious to lose to a bloody weevil...” I almost lost him...I can’t lose someone else...him...can’t...Ianto... “...how’s the pain now..?”

“...better...Owen’s wonder pills...”

“Yeah...”

They fell silent, each following their own train of thoughts as they remembered the acerbic medic, the near-miss of this latest encounter with a pair of particularly large and vicious weevils reminding them all too clearly how fragile human life was...how easy it would be to slip up...to die...Jack would always come back but Ianto was mortal...I can’t lose him...

Jack pulled back gently and moved to cup Ianto’s face, noting it was paler than usual, before capturing his lips... softly at first, until the realisation of how perilous the situation had been kicked in and he deepened the kiss, plundering the young man’s mouth hungrily, desperately... I can’t lose him...

They broke apart, gasping, when they ran out of air and rested their foreheads together, eyes closed, drawing comfort from their physical closeness without the need for words.

Long minutes passed and Ianto shivered, goose bumps creeping over his skin as a touch of delayed shock caught up with him. He grimaced - he should be used to all this by now – and forced himself to pull away from Jack’s embrace. He gave his Captain a tiny smile and brushed their lips together lightly, before sliding off the table.

“I’m going to take a shower...I need to get rid of the ‘eau-de-weevil’ and my clothes are filthy...” he touched Jack’s cheek in response to the quizzical eyebrow, “...and yes, really, I’m fine...” He kissed him softly and headed back up the steps towards the office.

Jack leant against the autopsy table and sighed, why is life so bloody complicated? He shook his head, knowing there was no answer to that and followed in Ianto’s wake. Shrugging out of his coat he hung it up and dropped into his chair, opening his Ianto files and clicking on a random recording...it was the one of them enjoying a steamy kissing session on the slab of the invisible lift up on the Plass. He remembered that day, a huge grin spread across his face and he leant back in his chair...

“Jack...you got a second..?” Gwen interrupted his delicious reminiscing...

“Er, not right now...give me fifteen minutes?” he turned his attention back to the screen without waiting to see if she’d complied.

Gwen had, returning moodily to her desk. It was all Ianto these days...she bit her lip, hearing those sounds again in her head. Angry at how easily it riled her, she attacked her keyboard and attempted to bury herself in Tosh’s rift program... However, she couldn’t stop herself from frequent glances up to the office...even from down here she could see his broad grin, gorgeous broad grin and hear him chuckle. She looked at her watch, was it fifteen minutes yet?

Deciding that it was, she got to her feet as Ianto appeared in the office. He was dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt and was rubbing his head gingerly with a towel. As she watched, Jack got up, tugged the Welshman into his arms and kissed him...a soft and tender kiss... Releasing him, he sat back down, pulling Ianto onto his lap and they looked at something on the screen together, laughing with abandon...

Ianto looked down at his fingers interlaced with Jack’s, the warmth and feel of his hand stirring all sorts of thoughts he would usually associate with how giggling teenage girls discussed their latest boyfriends! He grinned, suffice to say, he liked it... He watched the two of them on the slab on the monitor, kissing passionately in full view of the world...except of course, no-one could see them! He remembered that day – Jack had taken him out to buy a new suit which had ended up being eight Bespoke, with shirts, ties and shoes and a couple of rather fun blow jobs in the fitting room after they’d taken some rather unconventional measurements...oh, yeah, measuring tapes never lie! They laughed loudly, recalling how close they’d come to being caught with their pants down – literally!

Ianto turned his head and his lips met Jack’s, softly and sweetly as they gave themselves to the moment. Breaking apart, Ianto stood and stretched carefully, his muscles stiff from rolling around on the ground with the weevil. “Coffee?”

“Please...I’ll find some more for us to look at...”

 “I thought you were transferring them...”

“Done that...in the tin already with the toy dragon and the photos so far...” He looked up as Ianto grinned fondly at him. “Nice t-shirt by the way – what’s Blue Gillespie?”

“Not ‘what’...who – Welsh rock band...they’re good...lead singer’s hot...lovely eyes...nice arse...you’d like him!” chuckling as Jack pouted.

“Thought you were making coffee..!”

Still smirking, Ianto headed for the kitchen, swinging his hips as he walked, knowing Jack’s eyes would be fixed on his rear until he was out of sight. He felt better now, his headache had gone and now he was in clean clothes again it was just another bump in the road that was life at Torchwood. He began sorting out beans...hazelnut roast for a change...

Gwen had seized her chance and had shot into Jack’s office as soon as Ianto was out of sight, losing no time in telling him about Tosh’s messages and the progress she was making with the program, as she leant against his desk rather than sitting in the chair.

“That’s good work, Gwen... Yea, Ianto told me about Tosh’s messages – that’s so like her to look out for us... God, I miss her...and Owen...we all do...I know Ianto’s found this all really hard...” he sighed heavily.

“I wanted to talk to you about Ianto...” Gwen found herself blurting out, telling herself this had nothing to do with any envy on her part – no, this was concern for a colleague...a friend...

“What about him?” Jack’s eyes immediately looked anxious...worried...panicked even...

“He’s been really, er...unstable since that business with the phones – moody, biting my head off one minute, crying the next...” she knew she was misrepresenting the circumstances of these rapid mood changes, but it was too late to back out now...she had his full attention... She put her hand over his and leant forward...as Ianto came out of the kitchen with the tray of coffee and a plate of fondant fancies.

He stopped dead as he watched Gwen’s hand stroke gently over Jack’s...His heart thudded heavily in his chest and he bit down hard on his bottom lip as he attempted to quash the green-eyed monster that burst out of captivity... What was she doing touching him? What were they talking about? Why wasn’t she sat in the chair instead of leaning on the desk – that was his place... His hands trembled as ‘rational Ianto’ squared up to ‘jealous Ianto’...

Rational thought dictated that there were many subjects on which to discourse, especially over recent months, where a gentle touch could demonstrate understanding and sympathy...the loss of their friends and colleagues still so raw and painful. Jack could have called Gwen in to discuss the programs she was working on and the conversation would naturally lead to mentions of Tosh and Owen – Jack had been so strong but he felt their loss acutely...see – all perfectly innocent... explainable...

On the other hand...Gwen had always wanted Jack and she’d been off with Ianto for days now, especially since hearing them in Jack’s office...she’d waited until Ianto was out of the way before going in to talk to him...no doubt those huge doe eyes were glistening with tears...she knew her weapons and used them to their utmost advantage...he’d always known she was ‘competition’ for Jack’s affections...what was it about her?

He bit his lip again, harder this time, and gripped the tray hard so his knuckles turned white, rational thought imploring him to remain calm...the rumbling uncertainty that was gnawing gleefully in his gut urging him to charge in there and grab his Captain’s hand away from hers... A compromise was required... His face set to ‘calm and controlled’, he walked briskly to the office and went in, his eyes immediately focused on Jack’s guilty look as he snatched his hand away from under Gwen’s...the knife in his belly twisted...

He looked away from those too beautiful blue grey eyes as Jack attempted a smile, leaning across Gwen to place the mug on Jack’s coaster, making sure his arm brushed against the older man’s, the warmth of the touch sending involuntary shivers through him... Jack... He turned to Gwen, his face impassive as he handed over her mug, before placing the plate of cakes between them.

He took his own mug and the tray to the corner of the office, turning his back on them. He opened the cupboard to get out the clothes brush, reaching for Jack’s coat and proceeded to brush it with precise, controlled strokes...on auto-pilot as his mind continued to wage war...the green-eyed army currently had the lead... 

Gwen sipped her coffee. She was satisfied she’d made her point and there was a definite atmosphere in the room. She touched Jack’s arm and leant forward, “...you know where I am...if you need me...” Picking up a strawberry Fondant Fancy from the plate, she returned to her workstation.

Jack was watching Ianto, noting the too-carefully controlled brush strokes. Ianto was not happy...

“Yan..? Leave that...come and sit with me...”

“Oh, sorry, did I interrupt your cosy tête-à-tête with Gwen..? You should’ve said...I could’ve done this later...” he knew he sounded petulant but was unable to stop himself. He blinked back the tears that invaded his eyes and continued to brush...slow...controlled...

Jack sighed imperceptibly. He knew what this was and he cursed Gwen and her ability to rile the young man with her deliberate use of womanly wiles. In some ways it was like sibling rivalry...in other, much more grown-up ways, it was far more complicated. Gwen was a way of keeping Jack grounded – in this place, this time – she reminded him why they did what they did...faced the dangers they faced... Ianto was precious to him...becoming more precious by the day and Jack was terrified that he would lose him… I almost lost him today... and sometimes he needed to focus on Gwen to stop him from locking his Welshman away...when his need to keep the young man safe from harm threatened to stop him doing his job properly… I can’t lose him...

“Ianto...please...”  

“Is there something you want...sir?” Fuck, Jack, you can’t just keep going from one to the other, I can’t do this...

“Talk to me, Ianto...please... Gwen’s worried about you... I’m worried about you... You’re upset...”

The tidal wave of emotions that had been building surged forward and overpowered the dam... “Upset? Just upset? Over the past year I’ve seen one of my friends die, get brought back to life again before battling with death itself, seen the city blown up by your revenge-obsessed brother, watched another very close friend die in your arms, discovered that the undead dead friend had been irradiated and is now really dead, seen my immortal lover, whom I love more than life itself - but please don’t tell him - fall into a trance after a phone call, met one of his past lovers who was special enough to keep all her memories, and who actually is a very lovely and special lady... and then today I was once again reminded how terribly mortal and weak I am when I almost died because a stinking weevil of all things tried to rip my throat out...so yes, Jack, I am a bit messed up at the moment...

He paused to draw in a shaky breath and then found he had nothing left to say, so he gazed at his shoes and waited for the exasperated shouts that would no doubt follow from his Captain...his boss...his Jack... 

Silence. He looked up. Jack was staring at him, tears coursing down his cheeks. He looked broken... Ianto gulped. “Jack...” he whispered, taking a step towards him...

“Ianto...” was all Jack managed to get out before they were in each other’s arms holding, kissing, grasping, nipping...pure and raw emotion...it wasn’t even about sexual desire – it went deeper than that – they needed to be as close as humanly possible...skin to skin...to touch...to feel...to feel alive...

Gwen had smiled quietly when the shouting started. When the quiet came and she looked up to see them in each other’s arms her eyes filled with tears and she wasn’t entirely sure if she was pleased for them or not...she hoped she was... Logging off her computer, she picked up her bag and left. Her husband would be waiting at home...

In Jack’s office the only sounds now were pants and gasps as they writhed frantically in each other’s arms. Ianto pulled his mouth away from Jack’s long enough to growl one word “...bed!” before they threw themselves down the ladder to the bunker below to continue where they’d left off. It was rough and primal and they howled their release before scrambling, panting hard, under the covers to press themselves together before falling into an exhausted sleep.

Jack woke in the early hours of the morning, propping himself up to gaze at the sleeping man beside him. He looked so young and vulnerable, his face pale with visible signs of his tussle with the weevil that had so nearly seen his demise. It made Jack’s heart ache to consider a time when he wouldn’t have Ianto with him and if he was honest with himself – not a good idea – it scared the fucking life out of him... I can’t lose him...

Very carefully, he slid out of the Welshman’s hold and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. He dressed swiftly and climbed up the ladder. He needed a rooftop...

When Ianto woke an hour later to find himself alone, he knew instinctively where he’d find his Captain. He dressed, made a flask of coffee and dragged the picnic blanket out from the bag. Ten minutes later he was walking tentatively towards the man he loved with his entire being… I don’t ever want to leave him...

Jack turned from his contemplation of his view over the city. “You found me..!”

“I know you..!”

“You do...too well!” he folded Ianto into his arms and kissed him tenderly, a soft, lingering kiss that asked for – and received – forgiveness on both sides...nothing about their lives, or relationship, would ever be simple or conventional...

The kiss deepened as their tongues duelled for supremacy, Jack urging them to the floor where they sank to their knees... “...wait..!” Ianto panted breathlessly, shrugging the pack off his back. He dug into it and pulled out the blanket, spreading it on the floor before tugging Jack down with him and they lost themselves in never-ending hot, wet kisses...hands raking over clothing and sliding beneath the fabric to explore the warm flesh below.

Their love making was slow and sensual, the chill of the night air contrasting starkly with the heat of their skin, every touch sparking new bursts of flame as they crept inexorably towards the bliss of climax. Ianto arched his body as wave after wave of pleasure washed over him and left him trembling, the welcome weight and warmth of Jack’s body as he slumped on top of him, breathless and tingling, only deepened his satisfaction...

It was too cold to linger in their semi-naked state – both had retained their t-shirts – so they dressed and cuddled up together in Jack’s coat with the blanket wrapped around them as they sipped their coffee. The sky was beginning to lighten in the east as Cardiff prepared for a new day. The two men sat and watched the sunrise, secure in the knowledge that another unforgettable memory had been forged. They leant against each other as the sky turned through breath-taking shades of orange and pink and gold, kissing softly, the city coming to life around them as life moved on...

Chapter 7 http://zazajb.livejournal.com/22849.html