All in a day's work...

[zazajb]

Title: All in a day’s work...
Author: zazajb
Rating: R, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, team
Spoilers – none, set mid S2
Summary:   Owen teaches Gwen about alien autopsy, Ianto gets mucky and Jack gets him clean!  Words 1230

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & TW_classic , tw_proper[apologies to those getting this multiple times]

A/N Iantosdreamer and I were missing the redisourcolour challenges so we decided to challenge each other – her words for me - Theme: the Lesson; pineapple, thermometer, studio ‘If I’d wanted to do that I’d have found someone to show me!’ Guess what – redisourcolor challenges are back check it out peeps...

A/N 1 This is for badly_knitted  H*A*P*P*Y   B*I*R*T*H*D*A*Y to a very special lady *hugs tight*

All in a day’s work...

Jack and Tosh leant on the railings looking down into autopsy where Owen was teaching Gwen, both dressed strangely in thick jumpers and bobble hats, about the fine art of alien dissection, working on the alien Jack and Ianto had brought in during the night.

“Where’d you find it?” Owen shouted up, frowning as he made the first incision into the mottled purple scaly skin and Gwen screwed her face up at the disgusting aroma that filled the air.

“Studio flat in Barry, landlord called it into the police when he went to collect the ‘rent.’ Seems this little baby is capable of shape shifting as Mr Swendall had been paid in sexual favours for several months by a buxom redhead – he was somewhat upset when we told him that he’d been shagging an alien!”

“Upset is a bit of an understatement!” Ianto joined the two at the railings, a tray of steaming coffee mugs and millionaire shortbread in his hands. “Did you tell them his right hook knocked you off your feet?”

“I wasn’t going to mention that bit..!”Jack shrugged as Ianto’s cobalt blue eyes twinkled playfully at him and the others giggled, adding ruefully “so, he caught me off balance...”

He grinned at the younger man as he took his mug off the tray and bit hugely into a piece of shortbread, scattering a myriad of crumbs everywhere. Ianto looked expressively at him as he chewed loudly, making appreciative noises. “Mmmnnn ‘s nice...”

Rolling his eyes, Ianto offered the tray to Tosh who took her Princess mug, a slice of shortbread and a plate, nudging Jack who took that to mean he should have another slice...still without a plate! Ianto gave up at that point and headed down the stairs to autopsy , blanking his mind to the sea of crumbs he knew would be falling to the floor above him...all in a day’s work... He shivered as he reached the bottom of the steps, “why’s it so cold down here?” he asked, glancing at the thermometer on the wall to see it reading a chilly thirty two degrees farenheit.

“I think this is a Feli’th...anything above freezing and they have a habit of exploding...I’ve never seen it but...”

“Right...I’ll go and check in the archives...I’m sure I’ve seen something in one of the old files...” he unloaded his tray quickly, plonking Owen’s Gremlins mug and Gwen’s Funky pineapple mug on the dresser, plus a plate with two slabs of the chocolate covered, soft toffee shortbread that Gwen loved so much and beat a hasty retreat from the icy air.

At the top of the stairs he thrust the tray at Jack, grabbed his mug and headed towards the archives. Jack grinned and reached for a third slice...

Down in autopsy, Gwen took the arrival of the coffee as an opportunity to back away from the stench and inhaled the nutty aroma from her mug gratefully, snatching a few sneaky bites from her sweet snack while Owen’s attention was fixed on the grisly innards of the Feli’th...

“Oi, get back over here! You don’t get coffee ‘till I do!” Owen was cold and grumpy and didn’t care who knew it.

Gwen shrugged and pulled on a new pair of gloves, put her mask back in place and moved back to Owen’s side. Picking up her scalpel she leant over and prodded the bulbous fluid sac that Owen was pointing at. There was a whoosh of air and the body shuddered on the table as the sac exploded and showered them and every immediate surface in vile smelling slime and bodily fluids...

“Fuck Gwen, if I’d wanted to do that I’d have found someone to show me...you were supposed to observe not stick your sodding scalpel in it!“ He glared up at Jack and Tosh who chuckled and moved away, ignoring his howls of protest as he stood and dripped on the floor.

Gwen shoved her way past him and squelched up the stairs, muttering under her breath about stinking aliens and snarky medics as she headed for the showers, leaving a trail of black slime footprints behind her. Owen swore profusely and followed her, adding a second set of footprints to the floor.

Ten minutes later, Ianto reappeared clutching a dusty old file triumphantly in his hand, the smile dying on his lips as he surveyed the floor and then the state of autopsy. He swung round to look enquiringly at Tosh.

“Gwen burst a fluid sac with her scalpel...they’ve gone for a shower...” she smiled gently, “guess they’ve left the clearing up...you want a hand?”

Ianto shook his head, “no point in us both getting covered...all in a day’s work...” he grimaced as he took a closer look before going to change into a boiler suit. By the time Owen and Gwen had returned, autopsy was gleaming again, their mugs had been removed, washed and refilled and they were able to resume their work, a muttered “Thanks tea boy” in passing from the acerbic medic the only acknowledgement of his efforts.

Ianto frowned as he clattered away with the mops and buckets, his boiler suit fit only for the incinerator... This called for decaf...he didn’t mind clearing up their accidental mess, but they could at least say a proper thank you...

He headed for the showers after glancing up at Jack’s office to see his Captain busy on the phone, sighing heavily as he resigned himself to showering alone... This was turning out to be a trying day to say the least!

 Jack watched as Ianto walked slowly away and said a hurried goodbye to Martha, running down the steps to burst into the shower room, straight into the naked arms of his Welshman who wrapped him into a tight embrace and crushed their lips together, driving his tongue into the older man’s mouth as they arched their bodies together... It was hot and hard, passion bruising lips as teeth clashed and desire swept through them, leaving them gasping as they broke for air briefly before sinking straight back into more fiery wet kisses...moaning against each other’s mouth as they ground their hips together...

Ianto stripped Jack swiftly and tugged him into the shower stall, kiss following mind-blowing kiss as they melted against each other under the steaming spray... As Jack’s mouth worked its way tantalisingly down his body, Ianto reflected that it wasn’t such a bad day after all...crumbs, slime and amazing blowjobs...all in a day’s work at Torchwood – and he wouldn’t have it any other way!

End