Into the sunset

Title: Into the sunset...
Author: zazajb
Rating: R, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, team
Spoilers – none, set S2, AU
Summary: An alien adventure holiday causes havoc on a film set. Team Torchwood saddle up to help... Words 3800

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters – anything you recognise belongs to RTD & BBC, I’m just playing with them...
Written for the longliveianto  bingo prompt: Era: Old West

X-posted Longliveianto, Jantolution, jackxianto & TW_classic & tw_proper, jantosparkle, ijs[apologies to those getting this multiple times]

Thanks to the wonderful talented ianto_love_jack  for the banner and icon *hugs*
A/N Apologies for the lateness - a bout of food poisoning just robbed me of the last 4 days...but feeling better now!

 

Into the sunset

Saturday mornings were eagerly anticipated in the Harkness-Jones household these days – and not just by the children! Ianto found himself thinking about the story he was going to tell as early as Monday morning as he made the coffee for the team... His mind wandered during team briefings, half an ear on the proceedings enough to ensure he didn’t miss anything, and it was not unheard of for him to be found hidden in the archives scribbling notes in his special Captain Coat and Coffee Man notebook...

Jack had professed to finding the whole situation highly amusing, loving the sparkle in his partner’s eyes and the more adult version of the story telling that he had streamed directly into his head just for him... Highly amusing that was, until a blushing blonde had stopped them this morning and asked Ianto for his autograph...and the Welshman had been so taken aback that he’d signed the library story time flyer she’d held out without hesitation, smiling when she’d gushed at how wonderful his stories were. She’d taken the signature and darted forward, planting a swift kiss on his cheek before giggling her thanks and departing hurriedly.

Jack and Ianto had swapped “what the..?” messages in their heads as Brychan had hopped excitedly on the spot...”told you told you told you..!” he chirped happily, “all the girls fancy Tad...”

 “What?” simultaneous exclamations burst forth. Brychan grinned broadly in a miniature carbon copy of Jack as he squeaked breathlessly at his parents,

“...all the mums think Tad is sexy and they’re all coming to story time today so they can see him...” he drew in a huge breath before continuing dramatically, “even Miss Martin is coming!”

Bloody hell! You really are the hot favourite..! Jack teased Ianto, knowing the Welshman was always slightly intimidated by their son’s Headteacher good job she won’t be getting the X-rated version...I figure you’d be in detention for at least a month!

Don’t joke, cariad...what am I going to do...what if she...I mean...she might... he sighed heavily, biting nervously on his bottom lip.

“Don’t worry Tad, I told her that Dad would be there too and he’d sort her out if she upset you!”

That’s it, I’m done for! Ianto streamed despondently into his Captain’s head not only is she coming to hear our life’s adventures, your son has effectively told her to behave herself or else he’ll set you on her! He furrowed his brows, are there any other schools we can send Bry to when he’s kicked out for insubordination?

Jack laughed and ruffled Bry’s hair fondly, “Nice one champ! I’m sure I won’t need to ‘sort her out’ but it was a good thought to protect your Tad...” he leant down to whisper conspiratorially in his ear, “it’s our secret that Tad is scared of her, okay?”

Bry grinned and winked, nodding, before resuming the pushing of his sister along the pavement as they approached the library.

Jack straightened and reached for Ianto’s hand, drawing him into a gentle hug. You’ll be fine...she’ll love the story...and you... He chuckled as his partner groaned, maybe she’ll become a groupie and want your autograph like that cute blonde back there...

Jack, that’s so not funny...I don’t think I can... His thoughts stuttered as Jack pressed their lips together in a sweet and tender kiss as he stroked his fingers through the younger man’s hair, love and encouragement washing over him as Ianto sank into the embrace.

They broke apart, minds swirling contentedly thank you cariad... Ianto sent a soft smile.

All part of the service...

Love you...

You too...now get your gorgeous arse through those doors – your audience awaits..!

They hurried after Brychan who was waiting impatiently by the door, his best friend Euan beside him gazing at Jack in undisguised hero worship. Bry grinned and nudged him, “Don’t stare too much, it’s supposed to be a secret...”

“But it’s Captain Coat..!” Euan breathed, gasping when Jack patted him on the shoulder and winked as he bent down to release Ammeline from her pushchair, scooping his sleeping daughter gently against his chest where she snuggled into him without waking.

“Can I go in now dad?”

“Yeah, after you’ve handed me Amme’s bag...” Jack bent his knees so Bry could slip the strap over his shoulder. “Thanks, now let’s go listen to the superhero story for today...”

“Thanks dad, come on Euan...” as he dragged his still awestruck friend away and they vanished into the library.

Beware one hyper son on the way in..!

Yeah, just seen him...you won’t believe this Jack...about fifty kids and almost as many parents...

Lots of mums..?

Uh ha...lots of mums...no sign of Miss Martin though...

There was a pause...Jack?

“So good to see you Miss Martin...yes, she’s just turned two...” Jack streamed the conversation to Ianto’s head, grinning at the heartfelt groan that greeted it... They made their way into the library and through the arch to the children’s section. Karen, the librarian was waiting to guide the Headteacher to a chair at the side so Jack took the opportunity to move to the other side where he settled himself carefully on the floor with Ammeline curled up in his lap. He gazed adoringly at their sleeping daughter, sharing the picture with her Tad...she looks so like you Yan...she’s beautiful...

She is...and got her dad wrapped around her little finger..! I’m gonna start now so the noise might wake her...

I’ll cover her ears...have fun....my Coffee Man..!

My hero Captain Coat!

“Good morning children, mums and dads...are we ready for another adventure with Captain Coat and Coffee Man?”

The cheers and applause was tremendous, falling to expectant silence as Ianto leant slightly forward and began...

“Jack...call you need to take...” Tosh leant over the railing into autopsy where the Captain was going over Ianto’s latest chronon readings with Owen, “It’s Jonathon Penn...”

“Be right up Tosh, Owen that’s great news...”

“He still hasn’t tested it properly yet...”

“You are not shooting him just so he can prove he’s immortal!”

Owen shrugged “then he’s still on a provisional licence as far as my prognosis is concerned, but yeah, chronon levels are stable and match yours exactly...”

Jack grinned and clapped the medic on the back. “Thanks Owen, now to see what Jonathon wants...” He took the stairs two at a time and bounded over to Tosh to take the phone from her. “Jonathon, you got another charity fundraiser for us? It’s not Ianto’s birthday ‘till August...” His grin faded and he frowned, “okay, we’ll be over as soon as Gwen and Ianto get back...” He hung up and turned back to Tosh. “See what you can pull up on that old film set out towards the river...any history of rift activity, rumours, old wives’ tales...ghosts...that sort of thing...”

“Ghosts?”

“There’s an independent film being shot there at the moment - apparently the set’s haunted and it’s playing havoc with the schedule...”

“I’ll see what I can find...”

“Thanks, Tosh...Ianto?” he touched his comm.  unit. “You all done with those weevils?” He chuckled at Ianto’s wry reply, “haha, okay, pick me up on the Plass, you and I are going to check out some ghosties...”

Ten minutes later Gwen hopped out of the passenger seat and Jack slid in. His eyes narrowed at the familiar paper bags from their favourite bakers clutched in her hand and she laughed. “Don’t worry, yours is in the glove box and there’s another one for when you get back – Ianto knows your habits all too well..!” She raised an eyebrow suggestively and giggled as the Welshman blushed. “Have fun..!” Moments later she was on her way down on the invisible lift and the SUV was vanishing from sight.

Jack delved into the glove box and sank his teeth happily into the large slab of chocolate brownie, scattering crumbs everywhere, much to Ianto’s displeasure. “mmnn...what?” he mumbled through his mouthful, earning himself another frown from the driver’s seat. “S’nice...” the frown deepened as he crammed the last of the cake into his mouth and shook the crumbs off his coat and onto the floor before settling back in his seat.

“Tosh...what you got for us?” as the pretty tech genius sounded in his ear.

“It’s not been used for some twenty five years – seems there’s not much call for an old-fashioned film lot these days, but going back over the records there’s been reports of gunfire and strange noises for years...Police always put it down to kids...there’s a roving patrol that passes it, but no on-site security or anything and it’s pretty much forgotten.

We’ve never noticed it on our systems so whatever it is hasn’t come through the rift...but those monitors I gave you should be able to pick up anything unusual once they’re in place...”

“Thanks Tosh, we’re almost there now.” He turned to Ianto, “okay, now what’ve I done? You’ve gone all grumpy on me!” he slid his hand onto the other man’s knee and squeezed gently, “I don’t like upsetting my favourite Welshman...should I’ve saved you a bit of brownie...I would’ve but it was just so chocolaty and chewy and...”

Ianto rolled his eyes “you’re drooling Jack! And since you’re asking, you can clean up all those crumbs when we get back...” his face broke into a grin at the expression on his Captain’s face, “...and it’ll be me stood close behind you in the garage as you’re bent over sweeping... Role reversal..!” think about it before you start pouting!

Jack’s face lit up as he translated the telling off into the promise of a pleasurable encounter to come... yes, Ianto...sir! “Now let’s go see what Jonathon has to say...” he said aloud as they pulled up into the car park that was crammed with film vehicles of all sizes.

Jonathon was waiting for them and led them over to the director, a beefy looking man wearing rather unflattering too tight trousers and a check shirt whose buttons struggled to contain his beer belly. He had that ‘running time against the world’ weary look of defeat in his eyes as he shook hands and gazed hopefully at them.

“Jon says you’re experts at dealing with this kind of stuff...I really hope you can sort it out because all my extras quit this morning when we tried to do a scene in the Saloon and a squid thing suddenly appeared and started playing the piano and that’s just the latest...”

Jack interrupted what appeared to be the start of a long drawn out list of everything that had plagued this production “did you manage to capture any of these strange events on film?”

“Not until today...it’s here...” he indicated the monitor and they watched the scene replay exactly as he’d described it, the screen going dark after the panicked exit of the actors was followed by that of the cameraman!”

Jack grinned.

You can’t be serious!

Why not, I’ve always wanted to see you in hot pants, leather chaps and a cowboy hat!

Very Rhinestone Cowboy!

Oh yeah!

You’re drooling again!

Well I’m liking the picture I’m seeing...

No!

No, NO? Or no, you’ll think about it?

You’re incorrigible!

You’re irresistible!

Okay, Jack, but before you get too excited, I don’t think they wore hot pants in the Old West!  

The pout appeared and seemed to confuse both Jonathon and the director who’d not been privy to any of the rapid thought swapping.

Ianto grinned and this just perplexed them even more! “I think we can sort a couple of problems out for you here, “he said calmly, ignoring the whoops of excitement from Jack going off in his head like fire crackers you’re such a kid!

C’mon, don’t tell me you never wanted to play cowboys and Indians on a proper Old West film set? I was in the right time but never the right place...yeehaw!

Jack! Unless you want me to hog-tie you I suggest you pay attention!

Oh promises promises...

The frown and an image of a large pot of decaf had the desired effect and Jack grinned happily at the two bemused men. “What Ianto’s saying is we’ll be your extras on this shoot and see if we can solve the mystery of your strange goings-on at the same time...”

The director looked like he was about to throw himself on them in gratitude so they stood hurriedly. “We’ve got a couple of monitoring devices to put in place and then we’ll be back with some more equipment and the rest of the team.

“We’ve got a scene to film at sundown...do either of you ride?”

Jack, behave!

“Yes, we both do...”

I said, behave!

Sorry!

“If you can be back here for rehearsals in two hours and then we’ll film into the early evening...” the director was beaming now, seeing an end to his cast and budget problems.

Jonathon saw them back to the SUV. “Thank you for doing this, I’m advising and producing on this and you were the only people I could think of who wouldn’t think I was mad!”

“We’ll be back in a couple of hours...wait ‘till we tell Owen!” The three men laughed at the thought of the acerbic medic’s face...

Thirty minutes later they were in the boardroom, steaming mugs of Ianto’s coffee and plates of cakes beside them as they watched the film they’d brought back from the set.

“So, I told them we’d be their extras and...”

Owen spluttered into his coffee and his expression was pretty much exactly as they’d predicted. “You said what? I’m a doctor not a bloody cowboy! I’m not prancing about in leather chaps and...”

“Actually Owen, they want you to be the Sherriff...I think you get to sling us in jail...” Ianto cut across the incredulous and rising tones, seeing the indignation morphing into a grin at the thought of playing the lawman...

“Okay...it might be a laugh..!” he said grudgingly, attempting to hide the excitement that was charging adrenaline through his bloodstream and fooling nobody!

“Ladies? Do you fancy being in on this? Tosh will be waiting to greet Ianto from our long trek and Gwen, you’ll be in the Saloon, waiting for me...” Oh...Yan, is that okay...I never thought...

It’s a film Jack, and the green eyes are long since dealt with...

Oh yeah...what about last Christmas when she got me with the mistletoe..?

That was different..!

Right!

“Oi, stop chattering in your heads and talk out loud like the rest of us mere mortals!” Owen was back to his snarky best, “what about these ‘ghosts’ on set?”

Tosh took the remote and clicked to an image from the film. She zoomed in on one of the squid’s arms to focus on a thin band with unintelligible writing on. “That’s ‘Zarnott’s Adventure Holidays’ – it’s actually a really clever idea – an old disused film set is the ideal playground for visiting aliens who don’t want to interact with the locals, but do want to play here on earth...

Ianto and I found several recorded visits over the past seventy years in the archives... All we need to do is try and talk to one of the visitors, get them to contact the holiday rep and delay their trip until the film’s finished...then business as usual...everyone’s happy! And they didn’t show up on our systems because they’re beaming down from cloaked ships up in orbit...”

They talked animatedly about the coming evening, Gwen even managing to talk Rhys into playing the Saloon bartender...”It’ll be fun sweetheart...” she grinned over the phone...

Ninety minutes later they pulled up in the car park, Owen parking behind the SUV, before they all shook hands with the beaming director. They were taken through to wardrobe and sorted out with costumes, before going into rehearsals.

Jack looked at Ianto as he stood there in heavy cotton trousers that hugged his hips, leather chaps, a red check shirt and a red neckerchief under a wind battered worn brown leather waistcoat, a brown leather gun belt and holster with a Colt .45 Peacemaker and a beige cowboy hat that completed his ensemble... Wow, Yan you look h-o-t! Remind me to take this home with us later...

You don’t look half bad yourself... Jack’s outfit had a heavy blue cotton shirt, yellow neck tie and long blue overcoat, his cowboy hat was black and he had a Winchester rifle slung casually over his shoulder as a companion to his own Colt .45 Peacemaker slung low on his hip.

They grinned at each other and then at Owen who looked transformed in black, a shiny Sherriff’s badge pinned to his chest and a gleaming pair of spurs on his Black leather boots. He looked up from his script, “I’m going to enjoy this...”

He stuck his chest out as Tosh wandered over, her floor-length dress the classic period piece and perfect for the sweetheart waiting for her beau...

Owen’s loving the attention from Tosh...

There’s a wedding waiting to happen..! They’ve been together a while now...

Don’t you meddle Jack...

They turned to see Gwen and Rhys walking towards them, Rhys was decked out as a typical bartender with an apron tied around his waist and Gwen looked amazing as a Saloon girl with a low cut tight fitting dress and high leather boots. They grinned at the others.  

Jack strode over to talk to the director to explain what might happen with their visitors and then they got stuck into rehearsals, Jack and Ianto riding into town from the first signs of what was going to be a beautiful sunset...

They were on the second real take when the squid appeared at the piano and a second appeared on a barstool. Ianto had just ordered a shot ‘shaken not stirred..!”Rhys nearly dropped the bottle he was pouring from and filled the glass several times over as he gazed at the new arrival. Ianto grinned and grabbed the neck of the bottle, taking it from the bartender’s trembling hands, “that’s quite shaken enough, thank you!”

Rhys snorted, his eyes still fixed on the squid, his mouth dropping open when a long slim tentacle beckoned him over and pointed at the bottle on the bar.

Jack grinned and removed the hand he had creeping up the inside of Ianto’s thigh. He moved over to the squid and nodded, indicating to Rhys for a second glass. When the drinks – cold tea – were poured, Jack picked them up and offered one to the alien who took it with a bubbling noise.

Ianto reappeared with Tosh and a universal translator, Jack explaining to the Skerrit what was happening. The two Skerrits had a hasty bubbled conversation over by the piano before a shimmer of light announced the arrival of a third alien who introduced himself as Zarnott. Jack explained the film set was now being used and that visitors were spooking the locals. In an amiable discussion, Zarnott agreed to suspend the holidays until the site had been unoccupied for one earth month and then vanished with his customers.

The bar was suddenly filled with the sound of clapping and cheering from the film crew and the director ran in and flung himself on Jack who clapped him briefly on the back and wriggled out of his grasp.

“Take it from the top of the scene...” the director ordered and they moved to their places... It was with a huge sense of satisfaction that they heard the final “cut, print it!” to wrap for the night.

Their starring roles completed, Tosh, Owen, Gwen and Rhys made plans to go to the pub for a bite to eat and a few drinks. Jack had a quiet word with the director before shaking hands with a relieved Jonathon. One by one the film vehicles took their leave until it was just the SUV remaining.

Ianto came out of the Saloon where he’d retrieved the tiny monitoring devices they’d put in place earlier. Where’s everyone gone?

It’s just us...I thought we could ride off into the sunset...

Like the films..?

Yeah...wild west and all that..!

You’re daft!

Yeah, but you love me...

Got me on that one! Saddle up then?

Yeah...stables are not far and then we just need to bed the horses down for the night...

Jack?

Lots of straw and hay..!

They mounted their horses for the final time and headed down the main street of the film set...riding into the sunset...

Ianto sat up and glanced around his audience, smiling, “and that’s how Captain Coat and Coffee Man, and their team, became cowboys on a Wild West film set so they could solve the mystery of the strange ghosts... Thank you for listening and I hope you’ve enjoyed the story...”

He blushed at the outbreak of clapping and cheering, the pink deepening on his cheeks as Jack streamed their own final’ bedding down’ in the stables amongst the straw and hay into his head, with no-one but the horses to hear their cries as they toppled over the edge into ecstasy...

Karen thanked everyone for coming and announced the winner of the picture from last week’s story, presenting a delighted five year old with her book voucher. “There will be another competition this week, so bring your pictures of Captain Coat and Coffee Man and the Old West in with you...and we’ll see Mr Harkness-Jones again next Saturday...”

They made their way outside to be intercepted by Miss Martin. Brychan gripped Ianto’s hand supportively. “A fine tale young man and I must commend you for encouraging our youngsters to read and visit the library. I look forward to hearing more of their adventures.” She looked down at Bry, “...and thank you, Brychan, for telling me about your Tad’s story time...” Nodding and smiling she walked away, leaving a relieved Ianto behind her.

Jack looked at Bry, “she said you told her..?”

“In show and tell time...” Brychan grinned, “I didn’t tell her that the stories were all about you and Tad...she’d never believe that!”

Ruffling his son’s hair, Jack reached for Ianto’s hand and the family headed for home...

 

End

The Adventures of Captain Coat and Coffee Man will continue in the next prompt.

http://zazajb.livejournal.com/40627.html