Bring him home

Title: Bring him home
Author: zazajb
Rating: R, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Gwen
Spoilers : TW CoE, specifically Day 4
Summary: Jack revives on the floor of Thames House... Words 750

Warnings: serious angst, CoE character death

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time; I also don’t own the song or RyanDan...
A/N Inspired by the beautiful voices of RyanDan and dedicated to iantosdreamer46  who’s had a tough week. My thoughts also go out to all those caught up in the earthquake and tsunami... Best effects are reading with song in the background... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVQclOwFHX0

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & tw_proper [apologies to those getting this multiple times]

 

 

Bring him home

Jack took that first agonising gasp of air as he was flung away from the darkness once again, his hands reaching convulsively for the warm embrace of his beloved Welshman...and then he remembered... The realisation hit him like a hammer blow, driving the breath from his freshly filled lungs and his eyes filled with tears...Ianto...my Ianto...

He knew, without turning his head, that Gwen was sat beside the body of the man he loved...the man he’d let down time and time again but who’d always forgiven him for his failings...who’d welcomed him back into his arms with unwavering loyalty and unconditional love...Ianto...

He sat up slowly, staring ahead as his brain resisted the inevitable...Ianto was dead...killed by the deadly virus...Jack’s heart shattered into a million tiny pieces and his body shook as he moved to sit next to Gwen. She leant against him as he put his arm around her and felt her trembling as tears coursed down her face. He watched as she reached across to minutely adjust the perfect knot of Ianto’s tie...

His vision swam as he looked at the still form...he could just be sleeping...his frantic brain searched for alternatives to the bitter reality... Images flew through his head...Ianto laughing by the railings outside the Tourist Information as they licked ice cream from each other’s fingers on a warm July day, wrapped around him as their bodies stilled after making love in a cornfield – the fragrant summer night air caressing their skin as they kissed sweetly...the world faded away - it was just them, right here, right now...the summers die one by one...

His breath hitched as the memories washed over him...how soon they fly on and on...weevil hunting late at night, sharing that first coffee of the day...the two of them alone in the hub...tender touch and gentle words, the way his mouth curved at the corners with that tiny knowing smile as he leant across his Captain to place his mug on the desk, the feel of those soft and sensual lips as they moved so perfectly against his own, the reassuring warmth as he revived after yet another brutal death, the sparkle in those cobalt blue eyes as they met across the hub, the bliss of stolen moments – a kiss, a touch...during the madness that was their life...so many memories but they were never going to be enough – I wanted more time with him...we’d barely begun to live...to love...

Tears spilled unchecked down his cheeks, he had endless life...was so old...this was so wrong...and I am old and will be gone... I can’t lose him...his silent cry to every God he’d ever known...a plea that echoed through the cavernous makeshift morgue where the bodies lay silent and alone...you can take...and you can give... This man deserves to live...he’s given so much of himself – to me...to this earth...let him be...let him live...

I have so much time – yet it means nothing without him...he is my life now...everything that I fight for, the endless day that is my curse...he taught me how to see it as a gift...he gave me meaning...without him...I am nothing...take me...if I die – then let me die...save him...let him live... Ianto Jones belongs with the living...here...he is everything...bring him home...

“I never told him...” the sob wrenched from him before he could stop it...”at the end...I never told him...” he reached to take Ianto’s chill hand in his own, his fingers curling around the unresponsive flesh as his tears flowed...

Gwen took a tiny breath in and turned her head, “he knew...” she whispered, as she kissed his damp cheek, “he always knew...”

She stood carefully and watched as Jack shuffled closer to his beloved Welshman, his other hand now tracing the contours of that beautiful face... As she walked away she heard the anguished I love you...I always loved you...and she knew that nothing would ever be the same again...sometimes the price they paid was just too high...bring him home...

End