I dreamed a dream...

Title: I dreamed a dream
Author: zazajb
Rating: R, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto
Spoilers : TW CoE, specifically Day 4
Summary: They say that your life flashes before you in those final moments... Words 830

Warnings: serious angst, CoE character death

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time
A/N Inspired by and dedicated to the brilliant iolo1234  and her fic To die at your side

I dreamed a dream, sung here by the wonderful Elaine Paige, the video by pinkpolyanthus  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kX5ypU-P1E 

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & tw_proper [apologies to those getting this multiple times]

 

I dreamed a dream...

“...and we’re here to see that you’re not getting a single, solitary child...” steadfast, determined...resolute...by his Captain’s side...

“Hey, I like the philosophy..!” Jack was always Jack...

“I gathered!”

That last moment of lightness, of something akin to normality...as much as facing a tank full of aliens who were demanding ten percent of the planet’s children could be considered normal...ok, so Torchwood didn’t do normal in the conventional sense...

And then...the virus...

“You yielded in the past...” the voice of evil.

“If there's a virus, there must be an anti-virus. Release it now or I'll blow a hole in that tank, and we'll all die together...” Still resolute, immovable, loyal...beside his Captain, his love...

“You've made your point now stop this and we can talk!“

 

“You will die. Even now...”

 

“We gotta get you out of here. I can survive anything, but you can't..!”

 

“It's too late. I've breathed the air...”

 “You said you would fight...“ The 456 cold...dispassionate...

“And I take it back, alright? I take it all back, but not him..!” Jack cried out, heart-wrenching cries, raw agony ripping through his heart as Ianto fell to the floor...

 

“No! No, no, no, no, no. Ianto? It's all my fault...”

 

Laying in his Captain’s arms watching the man he loved fall apart, the realisation – cold, hard, brutal... I.  Am. Going. To. Die... That was my life...was it what I expected? I dreamed a dream in time gone by...

 

Thoughts of Lisa, a love lost to the metal monsters...when hope was high and life worth living... He was left broken and wracked with guilt when she’d been destroyed...destroyed by the man he was destined to love...I dreamed that love would never die...I dreamed that God would be forgiving...

 

It was all so new and heady...stirring thoughts and feelings that he never knew existed within him...filling him with life and hope...but still he held back – not daring to confess his love...then I was young and unafraid and dreams were made and used and wasted...

 

Then came Abaddon...and Jack was dead...really dead...ice cold...lost, saving the world one more time...this time paying the ultimate price...there was no ransom to be paid...and his heart had been shattered...there had been so much he’d wanted to share with this amazing man...no song unsung, no wine un-tasted...

 

As he’d buried his face into Jack’s coat, inhaling that intoxicating aroma that was Jack, he’d sent a plea to the heavens to bring his love back...a second chance...please...I won’t waste it...I promise... His prayers had been answered and Jack had returned to life – a vision of wonder and his heart had sung when he’d been folded into his Captain’s arms to be held close and then that wonderful mouth had been pressed against his as he was kissed...a kiss full of joy and promise....

 

But the tigers come at night, with their voices soft as thunder...the blue box had snatched his love away...vanishing into the air leaving his world empty, his heart beating without purpose...his existence a colourless pastime...as they tear your hopes apart and they turn your dreams to shame...

 

Each night he’d looked to the stars and hoped Jack was alive...and happy...And still I dream he’d come to me...that we would live the years together...

 

Jack had returned...still handsome and dashing, yet different...a fragility that hadn’t been there before and they had resumed their fledgling relationship...tiny steps, neither daring to say those words so they remained unspoken but they dared to dream...to hope that with this impossible life they led that this could possibly work... Slowly, it grew...

 

Looking up at Jack’s beautiful blue grey eyes, now haunted and filled with tears, Ianto knew that the end was close...but there are dreams that cannot be...and there are storms we cannot weather... It was time...

 

“I love you...”

 

The look that crossed his Captain’s face shrieked agonising pain and anguish...I had a dream my life would be so different from the hell I’m living...

 

Suddenly he understood...for Jack to respond would mean acknowledging that his beloved Welshman was going to die...that this was goodbye and he just couldn’t do it...one more hurt to bear for an eternity...so different now from what it seemed...

 

“You’ll forget me...” whispered, life fading now...

 

“Never could...” the tears spilled down his lover’s face...now life has killed the dream I dreamed...

 

End