Amoureuse

Title: Amoureuse
Author: zazajb
Rating: R, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, team
Spoilers : TW End of Days, DW The sound of Drums
Summary: Jack and Ianto’s thoughts when they’re apart during the year that never was – a way to keep going... Words 1550

Warnings: serious angst, mentions of torture and repeated character death

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time
A/N Inspired by the gorgeous song of the same name, sung by EP & ONJ on EP and Friends 

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & TW_classic , tw_proper [apologies to those getting this multiple times]
A/N Dedicated to all those lovely people who sent me hugs and links on the news my hard drive had crashed and I'd lost all my JB stuff - I love you all very much...thank you - it really did help take away the sting and now I have a shiny newhard drive that I will refill! *hugs all*

 

Amoureuse

Ianto stared up into the dark, silent tears trickling down his cheeks. Jack had been gone a month now and time had ground to a halt, the world now existed only in shades of grey...all things bright and vibrant extinguished with the vanishing of the police box on that awful day...That day when he’d gone from broken to euphoric...and back to broken within the space of a few short hours... His fragile heart had been shattered into a million pieces as he’d watched Jack, radiating that jaw-droppingly beautiful grin of his, disappear from reality – taking all of Ianto’s freshly kiss-awakened hopes and dreams with him...come back to me Jack...please... He’d whispered those words into the darkness every night...to no avail...

Twisting the blankets on Jack’s tiny bunk in his hands, Ianto forced his eyes closed and determinedly replayed the memory he’d re-lived in the cold of each lonely night... Inhaling the fading scent of his Captain he pictured that first time when Jack had taken him gently by the hand and led him down to this very room, kissing him into oblivion as he soothed away his nightmares of the cannibals and the Brecon Beacons...make the monsters go away...please Jack...

Ianto had trembled and shivered, aching with desire and when Jack had finally made love to him, he felt complete...wave upon wave of pure bliss that rolled through his body as never-experienced-before-sensation after sensation swept him away to float amongst the stars... Captivated by Jack’s amazing kisses they’d slipped into sated sleep, limbs wrapped around each other, pressed close together in the limited space...

 

Waking several hours later, Ianto’s bleary eyes had glanced around the unfamiliar room strands of light upon your bedroom floor…change the night through an open door… His breath caught in his throat as he recalled the events of earlier that night…I’m awake but this is not my home…for the first time I’m not alone… He’d made love with Jack…and it had been amazing…simply fucking amazing…

He inhaled deeply, that intoxicating scent of the man he’d secretly desired for so long, never realising just how much he’d wanted him…wanted to feel him pressed in his arms, to feel those lips moving against his own…to feel him…totally… reaching out I touch another’s skin…breathing out as he’s breathing in…

Ianto’s hand trembled as he ran his fingers softly across Jack’s shoulder, following the lines of his body down the side of his toned chest to his waist and the gentle curve of his hip, stilling his hand as his Captain shifted minutely, leaning into the touch… deep inside I feel my soul aflame…will my life ever be the same…

“So, Ianto…you up for round two…?” the hoarse whisper sent shivers down his body and he moaned as a gentle hand reached out to cup his face and tug him into a soft kiss…a kiss that grew in intensity as Jack’s tongue mapped the inside of the Welshman’s mouth and the other hand sought a different, much lower, area of his body… Giving himself totally to the glorious sensations raging through him, Ianto melted into the embrace, kissing back fiercely as their bodies arched together…

Somewhere, deep within the burning passion and searing kisses, Ianto realised his heart was lost…given freely to this sensual and generous lover who showed him what physical pleasure was all about, this complex and larger-than-life man who carried so much pain and responsibility on his shoulders… should’ve told him that I’d do anything if I could hold him – for just another day…

The memory faded and fresh tears burnt a trail down Ianto’s face…for just another day…this love is something I will not forget…when I am far away… Jack…where are you…come back to me please…I need you…I love you… A smothered sob shook his body and he bit down hard on his bottom lip… when I am far away…I feel the rainfall of another planet… He closed his eyes and pictured Jack’s face, eyes blazing with lust, love and desire in equal measure as he pressed their bodies together, every touch like fire on heated skin…I know you’ll come back to me Jack…another planet…

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Gasping painfully as he was flung away from death once more, Jack slumped heavy in his shackles in the grimy boiler room…Ianto…the name escaping his lips in the briefest of whispers, an involuntary declaration of his innermost feelings… He missed him every minute of every day, but that feeling was at its most acute every time he revived after another horrific death at the twisted hands of the Master……my Ianto…I miss you…I love you…

That sentiment had been a revelation…something of a shock to the immortal man who kept his emotions tightly under lock and key, behind more barriers than he cared to mention, built up after decades of heartache as those he cared about were turned to dust and he lived on…alone…I’m coming back for you…I promise…

Somehow, this gorgeous, unassuming Welshman had quietly dismantled every one of his barriers to settle himself deep within Jack’s heart, the knowledge that when Ianto eventually died his heart would shatter into a million pieces just made that love even more breathtaking… Jack’s eyes widened as he recalled that very first time he’d made love to him, leading the young man gently to his bunker to kiss him into oblivion before unwrapping him slowly…caressing, teasing, every touch like fire on heated skin until they were joined completely and they exploded into blissful ecstasy…

The rogue Timelord had discovered more depraved ways to torture and kill than Jack had known existed…he kept himself sane by picturing his beloved Welshman’s face as he kissed him tenderly…coming down from that electric high of release…close together in the afterglow…I remember how his loving flowed… he could almost feel those gloriously pink, kiss swollen lips pressed against his own as they kissed lazily, tongues swirling sensuously…bodies glistening with the light sheen of sweat turned the key into another world...

They’d fallen asleep, limbs tangled around each other, pressed close in Jack’s tiny bed... Some time during the night Jack had woken to the lightest of touches as Ianto traced the contours of his body and they’d made love again...exploring each other’s bodies with hands and mouths, kisses ranging from soft and sweet to hard and laden with want...desire and passion colliding with a growing awareness of something deeper...something special... the first of Jack’s barriers crumbled...

Breathless and panting they’d held each other as their magical night became a new day... daylight comes as we both know it must...soon my fantasies will turn to dust... “I want to stay here...just you and me...forever...” Jack’s soft whisper against his ear sent trails of goose bumps chasing across Ianto’s skin and a delicious warmth spread through him, leaving him tingling all over as he absorbed the sentiment...

Jack had blinked back the tears, knowing that by giving his heart to this young man he risked unendurable agony when he was wrenched away...he wasn’t sure he could face that again... but I would give him anything he asks...if my first love could be my last... Steeling himself, the next barrier held...for now...

Now the tears fell thick and fast, Jack was alone, the only sounds the hum of the engines...he’d resisted...held those barriers for so long...it was hard to take them down...but they’d folded, one by one... Jack hung his head, picturing those crystal blue eyes blazing with a love he didn’t deserve...he’d never told him... I should’ve told him that I’d do anything if I could hold him...for just another day... I miss you so much...every moment we shared is seared into my heart forever... for just another day...

Footsteps sounded outside his prison...those dreaded footsteps... The Master held up a blowtorch triumphantly... “Look what I found, freak...” as he fired it up and approached his captive with a sadistic gleam in his eyes... Jack closed his eyes as the agony flared and his nostrils were filled with the stench of his own burning flesh... his love is something I will not regret, when I am far away... Merciful blackness approached... when I am far away... Ianto...

The Master waited impatiently for his new toy to mend itself before testing the flame on different parts of his body... Jack endured...and loved...and died... I feel the rainfall of another planet...when I am far away... and revived, his Welshman in his heart, carrying him onwards... when I am far away...

     0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Two men, both broken but both resolute...both holding on to the one thing that made sense... this love is something I will not forget...when I am far away...

And they waited for the fates to turn, belief burning hot in their hearts... when I am far away...

End