All roads lead to somewhere!

Title: All roads lead to somewhere!
Author: zazajb
Rating: PG, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Tosh, mention of Owen & Gwen
Spoilers – mention of TtLM - set between To the Last Man and Something Borrowed S2
Summary:  A road trip and a few issues with the SatNav... Words 2890

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & TW_classic [apologies to those getting this multiple times]

A/N Iantosdreamer & I were missing the redisourcolour challenges so we challenged each other: Theme – Road Trip, her words for me: grass, upgrade, direction ‘You can’t put that there!’

 

All roads lead to somewhere!

“Tooooosh..!” Jack whined in frustration as he glared at his screen, grasping the sides and giving it a shake, “...why won’t you work..?” He scowled at the non-responsive computer as Tosh came into his office, her glasses perched attractively on the end of her pretty nose...

“What’s wrong, Jack?

“My computer won’t work...it’s broken...” He looked pathetically at her, all huge eyes and pouting lip and Tosh couldn’t help giving him a fond smile, despite knowing what she was going to find when she looked at his computer...

“Let’s have a look...” She sighed as she took in the vast numbers of different windows opened on the screen... “Jack – you have to stop downloading from unsecure sites!” she scolded him in a manner reminiscent of a mother and an errant four year old. “Ok, move out of the way...” she raised her eyes towards the ceiling as he hopped out of the chair and sidled towards the doorway.

“Not that far away! Come and see what I’m doing – you might learn something...I’m not always going to be here to sort out your mess!”

The pout returned but Jack went back to his desk to peer over Tosh’s shoulder. He watched as she closed window after window, her fingers flying over the keyboard until just two windows remained. “This one is a nasty virus,” she said, her eyes gleaming behind her glasses, “...look at the strings of indices...” she deleted it swiftly, glancing at her Captain who was now looking rather sheepish. “This one...” she raised her eyebrows at him, “...what did I say about this one the last time you tried to open it..? ...or was it the time before..?”

“Sorry!” Jack mumbled, looking at the floor.

Tosh took pity on him as she deleted the file and reset his security protocols, “...don’t worry – Torchwood’s systems are more than a match for most bugs...not all, but very few are good enough to get past my firewalls and defence programs...” she smiled at him, “...just try and avoid having too many windows open at once as it slows the server down and can cause your computer to freeze... There...all done!”

“Thanks, Tosh!” Jack leant down and pressed a light kiss to her cheek, grinning as she blushed in delight and skipped back to her own workstation.  He slumped back into his chair and proceeded to open and fill his screen with numerous windows...

Monitoring Jack’s CPU usage, Tosh shook her head as the figures climbed...he’d never learn...unless... She grinned, an idea forming in her head and she set off to find Ianto in the archives...she’d need his help for this...

Ianto was bent over some strange-looking twisted metal object which was apparently a type of alien sports equipment... He’d removed his jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his deep red shirt... Tosh took a moment to admire the curve of the Welshman’s back, snug in his waistcoat and the way the dark grey pinstripes hugged his buttocks...Jack was indeed a very lucky man... Her mind wandered to some of the rather hot footage of the two men she’d collected over the past few months...some of it was incredible...

“Tosh..?” Ianto’s delicious Welsh vowels startled her out of her reverie and she jumped, her cheeks colouring fiercely as she swiftly pushed aside the image of her friend sprawled naked over Jack’s desk as Jack...

Ianto arched an eyebrow. “Tosh?” he asked again as she failed to respond. “Are you ok..?  Oh..!” He correctly deciphered the blush and the intensity of the appraising look, “...so where were we this time?” as her blush intensified and she dropped her eyes from his amused gaze.

“Jack’s office...” she whispered, “...and then the stairs by the kitchen...”

Ianto grinned as the memory washed over him and he felt the unmistakable twitch of desire in his groin... He dragged himself away from the pleasurable images in his head and returned his attention to the embarrassed tech genius... He reached out a hand and pulled Tosh in for a hug when his hand was taken, murmuring quietly in her ear, “Jack knows that you record us...sometimes he does things just because he thinks you’ll like to watch them..!” He chuckled as she squealed in horror, mortified at the thought she’d been caught...

“It is erotic, you know...not knowing if you’re watching or not...” laughing as she started to giggle. He released her and moved away, “...now I’m sure you didn’t come all the way down here to discuss my sex life...’though we should really pencil in a time for another good gossip and a Bond film soon...” he smiled fondly at his best friend...

“No...it’s Jack...” she giggled again as he rolled his eyes skyward.

“What’s he done now..?”

“He keeps downloading from unsecure websites...”

“The same ones as last time..?”

“Uh ha...” she nodded, a smile sliding across her lovely face. “I thought we could help him to remember to be more careful...”

Ianto’s face broke into a huge grin and he patted the chair next to the table with his strange sports artefact on. “He can’t hear us, but he might wonder what we’re doing so make it look as if we’re discussing this...”

They put their heads together and discussed Tosh’s plan, leaving Jack smiling up in his office as he watched his two favourite people getting on so well together... When he’d finished exploring the internet and he’d looked out to find his tech wizard missing as well as his archivist, a little exploration of the CCTV had soon located them down in the archives, their heads bent over some artefact as they discussed it animatedly...

Ten minutes later they returned, giggling... Ianto headed for the kitchen as Tosh slid back into her seat and began frantically tapping on her keyboard...

Jack grinned and pushed himself out of his chair, striding across the hub towards the tiny kitchen where he burst in and gathered his Welshman into his arms, bringing their lips together in a crushing kiss... Ianto sighed happily and gave himself to the moment, loving these random displays of passion from his Captain as he kissed back fiercely... They broke apart, breathless, lips tingling and forced air back into their lungs. Jack nuzzled into Ianto’s neck, breathing in the scent of his Welshman as they leant against each other... Brushing a light kiss to his Captain’s lips, Ianto turned in the embrace, “I need to pour the coffee now, sir...” Jack adjusting his hold to wrap his arms around Ianto’s waist from behind and rest his chin on the young man’s shoulder...

“It’s good to see Tosh enjoying herself at work...I like to see her laugh...especially after Tommy...”

Ianto nodded, “...we had a really interesting discussion...” he said, truthfully, smiling as he thought of the exact nature of that discussion...he wondered briefly if Tosh had set it up yet... “You have to let me go now...coffee’s poured... You can get the cakes out if you like...”

He grinned as Jack leant round to kiss him softly before releasing him and obediently setting out  slices of bakewell tart from the tin onto a plate.

They headed down the stairs together. Gwen was still not back from her wedding dress fitting so it was coffee for four... Ianto placed Tosh’s Princess Daisy mug by her workstation as Jack offered her a slice of cake. She met Ianto’s eyes briefly and inclined her head minutely...the trap was set! Leaving Jack and Tosh sipping their coffee and discussing the artefact, Ianto headed down to autopsy where Owen was attempting to catch up on his paperwork – something he loathed and so he was in a particularly grumpy mood. Not wanting to rile the acerbic medic, Ianto placed his Gremlins mug by his side and carefully selected the largest slice of bakewell tart, earning himself a grudging smile from the doctor before retreating.

He set the tray down and picked up his own mug and the plate with the remaining slices of cake, heading to Jack’s office where his Captain was now once again in front of his computer. Suppressing a smile, he put the plate on the desk knowing that two slices were always better than one where Jack was concerned!

“I’ll be in the Tourist office if you need me...inventory...” Ianto murmured as he turned away.

Jack nodded, only half listening, as he clicked on an upgrade program for the SUV’s SatNav...this one had new voices and sound effects...he could have some fun with this...

Ianto paused at Tosh’s workstation on his way past, whispering in her ear... She chuckled and nodded as they both glanced at their watches before Ianto headed out through the roller door.

 Twenty minutes later the rift alarm sounded. Jack bounded out of his office and slid down the handrail to land energetically at the bottom as Tosh called up the details of the alert. “Object of unknown origin...fairly small...it’s quite a way out...bit of a road trip..!” she said, peering at the screen intently. “I’ll send the details to the SUV’s SatNav...”

“Thanks, Tosh...” Jack headed to the door, grinning as Ianto appeared with his coat, holding it out for the Captain to slide into, the young man smoothing the heavy fabric over his shoulders...it was intimate, familiar and reassuring... Jack held out the keys...”...you can drive today...Tosh’s programmed the coordinates into the SatNav...”

Moments later they were headed towards the signal. The SatNav was its normal well-behaved self until they were directed away from Cardiff and along the coast road. Jack, as always when he was in the passenger seat, fiddled with various items in the glove box, the window controls and the buttons on his wrist strap – it was fortunate that the Doctor had disabled his ability to use it for time travel or God knows where they’d find themselves!

 As they approached a roundabout Ianto was alarmed to be informed by Donald Duck that he had passed the turning and he needed to turn the car around to face the other way. He glanced at Jack, arching his eyebrows... Jack pressed the reset button and the strange voice disappeared, they were still headed in the right direction...

The road was long and winding and took them well out of their comfort zone into unknown territory. Along the way they were treated to strange instructions from HM the Queen, Jack Bower, Captain Picard and Betty Boop to name but a few – usually involving turning off of the coast road, driving through a village and then returning back to the original road...this accompanied with pops of champagne corks, canned laughter and a peculiar sound that reminded him of frying bacon!

Ianto grew more and more frustrated much to Jack’s amusement, finally threatening to throw the offending instrument out of the window as he was informed by Kurt from Glee that he was being too rough with the gears, his driving was unimpressive, although he approved of his choice of tie, concluding that he should sing to the engine to soothe its hurt feelings..!

“That’s it! I’ve had enough! I don’t know where we’re going on this blasted road to nowhere and this SatNav is driving me crazy!” he growled, wrenching the wheel and pulling up half on the pavement outside a convenient convenience store in the village of Eglwys-Brewis. “I’m going to buy a map!” He leapt out, almost landing on top of what he assumed was the village bobby. “Sorry!” he muttered, turning towards the shop doorway...

“Hey, you can’t put that there!” the policeman moved to intercept the harassed young Welshman. “You’re blocking the street...”

“I only want a map book...” Ianto sighed heavily, “I’ll be a minute...two at most...”

“You still can’t leave it there...”

Jack’s intervention distracted the policeman long enough to allow Ianto to slip into the shop, buy a map book of the surrounding area and be back in the driving seat before the official had even noticed he’d gone. As they pulled away again Jack glanced at the set face of his lover and frowned. This hadn’t worked out like he’d intended. He slid a hand across to rest on Ianto’s thigh...

“Sorry!” he muttered

“What for?”

“The voices and silly directions...that was me playing with some new stuff I downloaded this morning...and I used my wrist strap to block the comms so you couldn’t get through to Tosh...and you’re not really being rough on the gearbox...”

Ianto slammed on the brakes and glared across at his Captain, the ice in his gorgeous blue eyes reflecting the fact that he was not amused in the slightest... “...you mean to tell me...” he began angrily...

“...but I do like that tie and I could sing to soothe the engine...if you like...I am sorry, Ianto...it was supposed to be funny...” his eyes took on the sad puppy look that Ianto was powerless to resist and the Welshman found himself smiling...

“I did like the Worp Factor four and engage from Captain Picard...” he admitted, “...and being told to wave by HM was...” his voice was cut off as Jack reached across to capture his lips in a gentle kiss that rapidly became more heated as Jack’s tongue slid inside the young man’s mouth and explored excitedly...hands tangling in each other’s hair...Ianto’s soft moans lost against his Captain’s mouth as he was kissed senseless...

Releasing him with a grin, Jack returned to his own side of the car as Ianto blinked in rapid succession, attempting to get his head back in gear...Jack’s kisses had a way of disengaging his brain and sending his senses into orbit...

“We ok again now..?” Jack’s whispered question dragged a rueful smile from the Welshman.

“Yeah...now let’s see if we can find this blasted object...we must be nearly there by now...” He pressed the reset button on the SatNav, grinning with relief as the familiar calm voice told him to continue on his present setting...

Several miles down the road they turned off, following a series of left and right turns through narrow country lanes when the SatNav began to sound like a tape that was slipping, finally turning into complete indecipherable gibberish... Ianto glanced across at Jack who shook his head, “...not me this time...honest...” he held his hands out in front of him to demonstrate he wasn’t fiddling with his wrist strap...

Pulling off the road onto the grass verge, Ianto pressed his earpiece... “Tosh..?”

“Ianto? Thank God! I lost you – there was nothing...I was worried...what happened..?”

“Um, that was me, Tosh...sorry...I was playing with the SatNav and I blocked the signal so Yan wouldn’t be able to contact you about it...only now the SatNav’s really playing up...I think it’s broken...”

“Hang on...” they could hear Tosh’s fingers clicking rapidly over her keyboard...

“Jack...did you download something earlier today to the SatNav relay?”

Jack’s face reflected something akin to terror as he whispered “...yes”

“Jack! Whatever it was, it had a mammoth virus in it...what have I said about...”

“I know, I’m sorry...I won’t do it again...” he could picture the intense frown on her pretty face. “Can you fix it?” he mumbled, contrite, eyes downcast

“I can, but it’s going to take me a while...”

“Tosh, I’ve got a map book...where are we headed...?” Ianto’s voice was soft, soothing... More tapping over their comm. units...

“Page 26, head for Llancarfan and I’ll direct you from there... Toshiko out!”

Ianto looked at Jack. “She’s cross with you!” he said.

Jack nodded, sadly. “I know...but I’ve learned my lesson...I won’t do it again. Swap? I’ll drive and you direct?”

They jumped out and switched places, Jack grabbing a swift kiss as they passed on their way to the opposite sides of the SUV.

It didn’t take long before they were driving through the village where Ianto continued to direct them without the need to call Tosh. Jack hadn’t noticed until they pulled up on a cliff top with an amazing view out over the sea, the signpost proclaiming the beauty spot as Fontygary Bay.

They got out, looking around. Ianto went to the boot and began unloading... 

After scanning the area and finding no trace of anything alien Jack came to see what the Welshman was doing, gaping when he saw the picnic blanket and food set out...he looked remarkably like a goldfish...

“...what..?” suddenly realising that Ianto hadn’t contacted Tosh once they’d reached the village. “You planned this...which means that you knew precisely where this road to nowhere went..!”

Ianto chuckled and reached out a hand to tug his Captain down onto the blanket. “Yep!” he said, “...all roads lead to somewhere...eventually!”, before hauling him in for a searing kiss that had Jack’s hands raking over his body as their tongues duelled fiercely. When they came up for air, Jack looked around suspiciously...”...she’s not recording this is she..?” 

Ianto grinned and rolled them over, pinning Jack down on the blanket and murmuring into his ear...”...who knows...so we’d better make sure the show’s worth watching...” as he captured his mouth possessively and they surrendered themselves to the moment...

Back at the hub, Tosh tapped into the satellite that was due to pass overhead in approximately thirty seconds and settled down in front of her screen, smiling broadly...

End