Lost inside of you Part 17/? Sequel to No place to hide

Title: Lost inside of you Part 17/?
Author: zazajb
Rating: NC-17 overall, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys, Martha/Tom, The Doctor [10] Lois/Peter
Spoilers - TW anything is possible - via memories, inc DW
Summary: Sequel to No place to hide. Sometimes I don't know where I end and he begins...
Masterlist http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time
This is for the wonderful wise_n_witty who continues to inspire and encourage me 

X-posted Jantolution & jackxianto

A/N This [and the next couple of chapters] is DW heavy and covers the ‘year-that-never-was’. It’s long...will post part 18 tomorrow... Sorry it’s late – unexpected visitors and an impromptu Barbie got me a bit side-tracked!!!

 Thanks to wykling  for the awesome banner *hugs*

 

 

Part 17

 

Consciousness returned slowly. They lay, entwined, blinking as the light filtered through dazed minds. Ianto lifted his head from Jack’s shoulder to gaze into his eyes, catching his breath at the depth of love shining out of the blue grey pools. He smiled softly, almost shyly, before capturing his lips in a tender kiss as they each lost themselves in the other...

 

Breaking apart many kisses later, Jack traced his finger lightly over the contours of Ianto’s face, drinking in the swollen lips, flushed cheeks, dishevelled hair and the incredible sparkling blue of his eyes... “...you’re beautiful...so beautiful...and mine...and I’m yours...always...you’ve captured my heart like no-one else ever has, Ianto Jones...”

 

He slid off the bed and reached out his hand, tugging the Welshman to his feet before leading him to the bathroom where he turned the shower on to warm. Jack surveyed his reflection in the mirror – the marks were starting to fade already and he smiled as Ianto stroked the bruised skin softly, tracing the trail across his chest and downwards... “...you marked me as yours a long time ago...even if I didn’t realise it then...”

 

His mind rolled back to the night before they’d sent Tommy back to 1918. After waiting for so long to find out when and how the young man would save the world, the atmosphere had been strained now they knew, especially knowing they were sending him back to fix time and then be shot by a firing squad. It didn’t seem fair, but there was nothing they could do to change it...

 

Tosh had taken Tommy home...it was obvious what would be happening there...they’d formed a close bond and it was inevitable that Tosh would have her heart broken by the brave young soldier so far out of his own time...

 

Jack was sat at his desk, absently shuffling through Tommy’s file, thinking of all the things that could go wrong, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders...sometimes it could be so lonely, so difficult to make the tough decisions knowing that it would cause someone else pain and suffering...

 

Quiet measured steps approached up the stairs...

 

”...this time tomorrow he’ll be back in 1918...” Jack sighed imperceptibly as Ianto entered the room.

 

“...in his own time...would you go back to yours...if you could..?”

 

Jack’s heart missed a beat – what was that about? Had he had enough of him..? ...no...I don’t want to leave..you... Flustered, wrong-footed, it came out all wrong...sounding flippant...”...why – would you miss me?” ...shit, that sounds awful...uncaring...arrogant...that’s not what I meant...

 

“Yep...” simple, certain...moving closer...  so where’s this going..? God, Jack you can be so dumb! He needs to know you’re not going to disappear again...like before...be careful...why is my heart pounding..?

 

“I left home a long time ago...don’t know where I really belong...maybe that doesn’t matter anymore..?” His breath hitched as Ianto perched on the edge of his desk, looking down at him...thoughtfully, considering...

 

“I...er...” Ianto..? “...don’t you get lonely..?” ...still not sure where this is going but my mouth’s dry, palms are sweaty...this is...could this be..?

 

“Going home wouldn’t fix that... Being here I’ve seen things I never dreamt I’d see...loved people I never would’ve known if I’d just stayed where I was...” Ianto in those jeans that first meeting in the woods over the inert body of a weevil, Ianto on top of him in that warehouse, Ianto bringing him coffee, their fingers brushing as the mug changed ownership, Ianto’s face as he smiles that beautiful little smile so the corners of his mouth turn up...that gorgeous and sensual mouth that just begs to be kissed, Ianto holding him tenderly, reassuringly, when he gasps back to life...the agony muted by the comforting presence of this oh so perfect young Welshman, Ianto pressed up against him as he’s kissed into oblivion, Ianto’s limbs entangled with his own as their breathing slows...the afterglow radiating through them...satisfying...warm...I don’t ever want to be without him...gazing into those crystal blue eyes that are glistening with...fuck...this is what I think it is...how did I end up here...

 

“...and I wouldn’t change that for the world...” ...c’mon Ianto...surely you can see it...I can’t say it...I’m fucking terrified – I was never doing this again...I can’t...how’d you get past all those defences...I can’t love...I...

 

His heart beat erratically and his senses swam as Ianto crushed their mouths together and tenderly stroked his neck... Resistance was futile and his hands moved of their own volition to caress the young man’s shoulder, then his face, as he returned the kiss, desperately, pouring the love and passion he couldn’t voice into the embrace.

 

They broke apart, gasping... Neither spoke as Jack took Ianto’s hand and led him down to his cubbyhole where he undressed him slowly, caressing his body softly, lovingly, feather-light touches of silken skin leaving them quivering from heightened senses...every kiss laden with the weight of the words neither could get out... They made love tenderly, trembling hands exploring as if it was that first time all over again...both aware that the rules had changed...the game had moved on and they were powerless to stop it...                     

 

The bathroom was full of steam now and neither had moved. Ianto slid his arms round Jack’s neck and kissed him softly. “I was in way too deep by then to not love you whatever you’d said...but I was looking for reassurance that you weren’t suddenly going to disappear again...don’t know that I would have survived another vanishing act...” He smiled ruefully. “We didn’t make it easy on ourselves did we, cariad..!”

 

Jack held him close, sending waves of love tumbling into the young man’s mind. “Shower, Mr Jones..?” his breath hot on Ianto’s ear sending shivers down his spine... Releasing him briefly, he tugged him into the shower and under the hot spray before folding him back into his arms where he proceeded to kiss his Welshman with such passion that his head spun... 

 

They took it in turns to soap each other’s body, the touch sensual and familiar, not concerned with sexual pleasure but with reaffirming commitment...acknowledging the pain they’d caused each other in the past...knowing there was more pain to come...

 

Dry and dressed, they wandered down to breakfast before strolling around the bay, hands entwined, enjoying simply being... They stopped to gaze out to sea, Ianto’s head resting against Jack’s shoulder, Jack’s arm around the young man’s waist, keeping him close...

 

“Jack....” quiet, thoughtful... “...what happens when I get old..when my hair turns grey or, God forbid, falls out...you won’t  want...I mean...I’ll understand if you...wanted to look elsewhere...” his thoughts trailed away, sudden tears pricking the corners of his eyes, belying his words...

 

Jack caught his breath at the intense wave of sadness that swept through the younger man and he turned to face him, cupping his cheek, brushing their lips together lightly as he stared into his eyes.

 

“You remember when I was in that trance? You talked to me...yea...I heard you...I told you afterwards you’d never be just a blip in time...I meant it...no matter what you look like...you’ll always be beautiful to me...” 

 

“...how can you be so sure..? How can you watch me grow old and die – how can I watch you live, and never age a day..? Can we make it through that, Jack? Can we..? Or will you leave...like you did before..? I couldn’t bear that...” his thoughts tumbled and tangled, gaining momentum as they headed full pelt towards the buffers...fear and uncertainty twisting in his stomach...

 

“Ianto, listen to me...you will always be beautiful, we are timeless and eternal, remember...we have, will always have, Nirvana...

 

Ianto buried his face in Jack’s neck, breathing in the heady scent that was uniquely him. “...sorry...” he mumbled, “...I just worry that I’m not enough...I only get one lifetime but you’ve got eternity...”

 

A flash of a conversation with the Doctor rolled through Jack’s mind and he tipped Ianto’s face up towards him, streaming the memory into his mind...

 

Jack watched as the Doctor pressed buttons on his wrist-strap and aimed his sonic screwdriver at the controls.

“There, all done” he said, pulling Jack’s wrist towards him and strapping it back on. He paused, glancing at Jack thoughtfully. “Are you sure you want to do this mind sharing? I mean, you don’t need any help blocking – I’ll wager you’re not sharing this conversation…”

Jack met the Doctor’s gaze. “I love him…more than I ever thought possible. I haven’t let myself love anyone in a very long time but with him it just feels..” he shrugged slightly, not sure of the words ”…right. Sometimes I don’t know where I end and he starts – it’s like he’s a part of me – a part that I didn’t even realise was missing until I was losing him, until he was dying in my arms…

When we were fighting the 456 he asked me why I hadn’t told him about them, about what I’d done. How could I? How do you explain something like that? I’ve lived for so long, done so much, so many terrible things that I can’t put into words. Now I can share my thoughts with him – but he needs to have some protection from them – somewhere to run to when it overwhelms him, because it will, but I know he’ll deal with it – he knows me better than anyone and I want him to know all of me… Yes, it’s selfish, because it means that when I do lose him…” his breath caught in his throat and he stumbled over his words, “…when he…when he dies it means I’ll have his thoughts with me always…” his voice faltered and he dropped his gaze to the floor.

The Doctor sighed, he knew only too well what Jack meant…Rose…no, he wouldn’t think about her… He patted Jack on the arm, hoping that his expression and the light touch conveyed his understanding.

“You do know, of course, that he’s got massive levels of chronon particles in his body since you kissed him back to life and his ageing has slowed to a fraction of normal human – he could live to be three or four hundred…”

Jack smiled softly, “…still won’t be enough for me – I want him with me forever…”

“I know…c’mon, we’re done here…” he led the way outside, patting the wooden side of his ship as they left.

Ianto’s eyes widened and he looked at Jack bewildered. “...I’m gonna live till I’m four hundred..?”

 

“I really hope so, sweetheart...”

 

“You knew this and you didn’t think it important enough to tell me..?”  Ianto’s turbulent emotions took yet another turn and he rounded on the older man verbally, his voice rising until he was shouting, drawing stares from passers by... “...you didn’t tell me this little fact because..? What else haven’t you told me..?”  He wrenched himself from Jack’s arms, planting his hands on his hips as he glared at the Captain.

 

“...Yan...I was going to tell you when the Doctor had checked it out...didn’t want to get it wrong...but we can be together much longer...it’s good...yeah?...Ianto..?”

 

“I don’t know, Jack...” his shoulders slumped and his anger dissipated...”I really don’t know...” He turned away, biting his bottom lip, fighting the sobs that threatened to break free.

 

Jack stepped closer, reaching out tentatively... ”...please...Yan...I’m sorry...” His hand made contact with the young man’s shoulder and he squeezed reassuringly, encouraged when he wasn’t pushed away, although his shields remained up. He moved in closer still, wrapping his arms around Ianto’s tense body and resting his chin on the younger man’s shoulder. “...you still love me?” he whispered, pressing light kisses down the side of his neck.

 

Ianto groaned, dropping his shields, flooding Jack’s mind with tangled waves of confusion and wonder as he turned in his embrace and wound his arms round his neck before devouring his mouth hungrily... “...course I love you...always...but I was shocked, Jack, angry...especially as you didn’t tell me as soon as you knew...it’s gonna take some getting used to...”

 

He gasped against his Captain’s mouth as the golden glow of Jack’s life force spread through him, tiny bursts of electricity tingling every cell in his body and he felt so alive as his senses spun and he floated with the stars as Jack kissed him into ecstasy. When they broke apart, panting, Ianto’s knees were weak and he clung on, trembling.

 

Wrapping his arm round the young man’s waist, Jack headed them back towards St David’s, steering him expertly across the lobby and into the elevator where he pressed him up against the wall and kissed him thoroughly, their tongues dancing pleasurably, Ianto moaning against his mouth at the tendrils of pleasure spreading through his body, coming to rest in his groin...

 

Once in their suite, Jack led him to the bedroom and slowly undressed him, kissing every inch of flesh as it was uncovered, worshipping his body until he was moaning and writhing, completely lost in the sensations of pleasure coursing through him, every touch like fire against his heated skin...the echoes of desire from shared minds serving to increase the slow build to release. Jack prepared him gently, angling his fingers to brush that magic spot, drawing shudders of pleasure from his lover as he poured his love into his mind.

 

Ianto whimpered as the fingers were removed, only to sigh as Jack pressed in, moving his hips slowly, deliberately, concentrating solely on the pleasure he was giving – this was all about love... Ianto’s eyes were closed, his head arched back into the bed, tiny sighs escaping his kiss swollen mouth as he moved closer to the edge, ripples of heat building in intensity until that ultimate rush of release and he gasped Jack’s name, shudders of exquisite pleasure spreading outwards...tipping Jack’s own climax as they soared in unison...

 

Jack stroked Ianto’s hair as they lay in each other’s arms, relishing the post-orgasmic glow that radiated through them... “...you ok..?”

 

“...yeah...good...more than good...” He tugged the older man in for a kiss, opening his mouth so their tongues tangled lazily...coming up for air briefly before sinking back into more sweet and tender kisses... Eventually they pulled apart and headed back into the shower...

 

When the Doctor arrived twenty minutes later, the coffee was on and Ianto was sat on the sofa with Jack stretched out, his head resting in Ianto’s lap, the Welshman running his fingers through his Captain’s hair. “...door’s open...” they sent together, grinning.

 

The Doctor bounded in, clutching a bulging paper bag that Jack immediately recognised as from his favourite bakers. He sat up. “...now there’s a welcome sight!”

 

“...me or the pastries..?” quipped the Timelord, dangling the bag under Jack’s nose.

 

“..umm, tough choice!”

 

Ianto smacked Jack’s hand away as it reached towards the bag, getting up from the sofa to take the Doctor’s coat and give the man a welcome hug. He took the bag and went to the tiny kitchen area where he sorted out the mugs and plates. Jack leapt up and wrapped the Doctor in a warm hug of his own.

 

Returning the embrace, the Doctor released him and looked at him searchingly, sensing all manner of emotions running through both men... Jack shrugged... “...it’s been...a bit...eventful...”he offered lamely.

 

The Doctor arched an eyebrow at him...”...you care to elaborate on that or do I not want to know.?!

 

“We’ll share...well, maybe not everything...unless of course you want to...” he flashed a glimpse of Ianto slamming him into the mattress, chuckling when the Timelord immediately blocked the image... “I’m kidding...although I’m sure it’d be a fantastic show...”

 

“Stop it! Honestly, you’re incorrigible..!”

 

“Yea, so I’m told...” he looked fondly at Ianto as he brought a tray laden with coffee and sticky Danish to the sofa and sat down, handing each man a mug and a plate. For a few moments there was silence apart from the mumbled sounds of appreciation of the pastries.

 

Sipping his coffee, the Doctor leant back in the armchair and surveyed the two men quizzically. “Ok, spill it..!”

 

They exchanged glances. “...we went through a few memories on our own...” Ianto reached for Jack’s hand and held it tight. “...we were trying to see when we each realised that we meant something...then I got a bit...um...a bit...”

 

“...he got jealous and ravished me, wildly, very enjoyably and marked me totally as his...all over!” Jack finished for him, grinning as Ianto blushed scarlet and the Doctor rolled his eyes.

 

“...ok, par for the course...and..?”

 

“We went over Abaddon and how long it took Jack to come back from the dead...and then...” he flashed the images of first the kiss in front of the team, followed by the replay of the CCTV as Jack launched himself at the TARDIS...”...and then...” he streamed the conversation Jack had shared with him...he could live to be three or four hundred...

 

He felt the Doctor’s sorrow and guilt rushing into his mind. “How do you feel about that?”

 

“...the kiss – good, always good! His vanishing act – actually, that’s fine too...he needed answers and he says he got them...so that’s good enough for me... My increased lifespan – no idea...I don’t think it’s sunk in yet – I did yell a bit...but...” the Doctor winced as confusion and uncertainly washed off the young Welshman, tinged with repressed anger and a barrage of questions...”what do I tell Rhi...the kids...the team..?”

 

“I’d like to run some tests, in the TARDIS, just to see what the effects of Jack kissing you back to life are...I’m only guessing at three or four hundred – could be more, could be much less...also we need to find out if you’ll need to keep topping them up....stop it!” as Jack streamed the kiss from the bay earlier into his head, “...not that I think that’ll be a problem by the looks of things! So, if you’re ok to hold off telling anyone for now...just till we know a bit more about it...you’re very special, you know...”

 

“..he knows...” Jack flooded Ianto’s head with all the reasons he was special, filtering out some of the steamier images before sharing the flow with the Timelord, the intensity of the emotions sparking something suspiciously like tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. He blinked them away, marvelling again at the depth of the connection between these two...soul mates didn’t even come close to describing it... 

 

They lapsed back into silence as the images died away...Jack and Ianto lost in each other, the Doctor thinking longingly of Rose and all the things he’d never told her... he dragged himself back to the present.

 

“Right, work to...stop it!” the tension was broken as the three men laughed. “See you under the Ood sky...”

 

Jack squeezed their entwined fingers, bringing them up to brush his lips against them. “I love you, Ianto Jones...remember that, no matter what happens...no matter what you see...just remember that I love you...now and forever...” he slid his other hand behind the young man’s head and pulled him closer to press a soft kiss to his mouth before moving his hand down to rest at his waist, his forehead against the side of Ianto’s head. “...shall we..?”

 

They met again under the velvet sky of the Doctor’s mind space, that awe-inspiring sense of all there was, all there ever could be flooding through them, settling Ianto’s jittery nerves. He held out his hand, Jack took it and interlaced their fingers and they made their way over to the Doctor who was gazing upwards, deep in thought... He turned as they approached and reached one hand out to gently caress Ianto’s cheek, the action filling the Welshman with trepidation...whatever was coming...it was bad...

 

“This memory concerns me as well as Jack, your team and the rest of the world...I won’t interfere unless I think you’re in danger...ok...” he attempted a smile...and almost succeeded.

 

The sky was filled with a sense of serenity that flowed over them and echoed to the beautiful sounds of music that conjured up images of celestial ice structures and glints of sun on snow, of beauty and ethereal wonder...and they found themselves once more under the Ood song, drinking it in, letting it flood their minds...

When they’d had their fill they pulled back and gazed up at the velvet blackness of the Doctor’s mind space as it began to swirl with dark shapes as Jack’s memory was set free...

“Doctor...” Jack yelled as he flung himself at the disappearing TARDIS “you’re not getting away from me this time...I need to know what happened...I need you to fix me... The time vortex swirled around him at unimaginable speed, flashes of light, high voltage agonising stinging sensations as he clung on...through violent shudders and turns as the TARDIS tried to shake him off, finally accepting his body as a limpet, extending the force-field around him as he blacked out and died.

He revived, gasping that first agonising breath, hauling his body through the razor-sharp shards of glass as he was flung away from the blackness, to find himself clasped by warm hands and he gazed up into the most gorgeous brown eyes he’d seen in years... “Captain Jack Harkness...and who are you..?” the trademark grin flashed as the young woman fell under his spell.

“Martha Jones...”

“Pleased to meet you, Martha Jones...” rubbing a thumb lightly over her chin, her rather attractive chin actually...

A new voice...a different voice, but unmistakably his... “Oh, don’t start...” annoyed, irritated...hostile...

“I was only saying hello...” He struggled to his feet, eyeing the Timelord warily. “...Doctor...” you ran away from me...

“...Captain...” ok, so no warm welcome...

“Good to see you...” you left me behind...I’ve been waiting over a hundred years for this...

“...and you...” formal, distant...before a flicker of ‘his Doctor’ “...same as ever...although...have you had work done..?”

“You can talk!” you’re mocking me...don’t forget...you left me behind...

“Oh yes, the face...regeneration...how did you know this was me?”

“The Police Box kinda gives it away...I’ve been following you for a long time...you abandoned me...” there, said it...sounded bitter...yeah, suppose I am...what I want to know...can you fix me..?

“Did I? Busy life...moving on...” Those clear hazel eyes looked right through him.

“Just gotta ask – the battle of Canary Wharf...I saw the list of the dead...” please let it be wrong... “...it said...Rose Tyler...”

“Oh, no...” beaming smile...”sorry, she’s alive...”

“...really..?” thank God...Rose...

“...parallel world, safe and sound...and Mickey, and her mother...”

“Oh, yes..!” anger and resentment forgotten, Jack threw himself into the Doctor’s arms and hugged him tight... my Doctor...I’ve found my Doctor...I’ve missed him so much...

The two men laughed delightedly, slipping straight back to the easy relationship they’d shared as Doctor and companion...

Ianto felt like a knife had been stuck in his stomach as he felt Jack’s joy at being reunited with the Doctor...joy and...love... He bit down hard on his bottom lip, rubbing his thumb over the ring on his finger as he reminded himself of Jack’s words just before they’d come here ”...no matter what you see...I love you...” He blinked back the tears...

They were wandering through this new world, Jack back in full flow describing the circumstances of his arriving in Cardiff and why he was so sure he would eventually find the Doctor...flirting shamelessly with the new companion...Martha...bandying words with the Timelord like he’d never been away...he’d come home...

It was dark, the sky had very few stars – they’d come to the end of the universe, the Doctor said...the stars were burning up and going out, the whole of existence was dying... They came to the edge of a crevasse giving them a view of a city, or hive or conglomeration...

Jack looked up at the sky. “There must be a protective atmosphere...we should all be frozen to death...”

The Doctor flicked a glance at him, “Martha and I maybe...not so sure about you Jack...” he knows, he knows I can’t die...

Martha was wondering about the survival of humanity – she was sweet...a little naive, but definitely sweet and obviously totally smitten by the Doctor...that made two of us then...

The knife in Ianto’s gut twisted a bit deeper...

Next minute they were watching a lone human running across the wasteland...pursued by a baying mob – a human hunt...

“Come on!” and the Doctor set off at a sprint, his coat billowing behind him, followed closely by Jack, his coat equally impressive, oh, I’ve missed this...running, always running...I love being with the Doctor... and Martha as they ran to the aid of the hunted male. Suddenly they were in danger of being surrounded by the pack...

”silo...nearby...” the stranger gasped, and they set off once more at a frantic pace, the ‘beastie boys’ baying for blood in their wake...

Baring their teeth [!] at the guards, they were granted haven at the silo which turned out to be a refugee camp for hundred of humans, all waiting to go to Utopia...

Jack and the Doctor opened a door, bypassing the security lock, to look down on a huge rocket...a rocket that wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon... Neither man recognised the technology... That was when they met the Professor. Professor Yana dragged the Doctor off to his lab, rattling the specifications of his rocket off at top speed, dismay and disappointment showing all too clearly when the Doctor looked totally bemused by the design.

Meanwhile, Martha was making friends with Chantho, a blue/green native of the world they were on...the last of her kind. After much discussion, and the unveiling of the Doctor’s lost hand in a jar – Jack’s ‘Doctor detector’ - which threw Martha for a while...the Doctor worked the system out, and with a little bit of pixie dust, aka the miraculous sonic screwdriver, the rocket was live... The last mass of humanity began to board, including a cheeky faced child, Streeth, whom Martha had really taken to...

The TARDIS had been found and brought in with the last water collection and everything was going to plan, although the poor Professor was in some obvious pain, he said he was hearing drums constantly in his head...

As the countdown continued, a saboteur from the future-kind smashed the power boxes, sending the radiation chamber into dangerous overload, killing the technician who’d gone in to complete the rocket power couplings. At the same time Jack had restarted the power, killing himself in the process and earning himself the kiss of life from Martha...enjoyable but totally unnecessary!

Jack had now earned himself the role of technician in the Stet radiation room – a room no-one could enter without dying - and he and the Doctor raced off to complete the power transfers.  

 “How long have you known..?”

“Ever since I ran away from you...” finally...maybe I’ll get my answers now...although now I’m here with him it doesn’t seem to matter any more...I’m with my Doctor... “Good luck...”

Jack entered the chamber, examining the task in front of him...

“When did you first realise?”

“Earth, 1892...got in a fight, man shot me through the heart...then I woke up...thought it was kinda strange, but then it never stopped – fell off a cliff, trampled by horses, WWI, WWII, poison, starvation,...stray javelin...eventually I got the message – I’m the man who can never die...and all that time you knew...”

“That’s why I left you behind...it’s not easy just looking at you, Jack, ‘cause you’re wrong...”

“...thanks...”

“You are, I can’t help it...it’s a Timelord’s instinct...you’re a fixed point in time and space, you’re a fact, that’s never meant to happen... Even the TARDIS reacted to you, tried to shake you off, flew all the way to the end of the universe to get rid of you... so, now I know, I love him, he hates me, hates my existence...

The knife twisted deeper. Ianto clenched his fists, digging his nails into his palms, repeating Jack’s words over and over in his head “...no matter what you see...I love you...” Fuck...this hurt...

“So what you’re saying is that you’re prejudiced?”

“Yea, hadn’t thought of it like that...”

“Shame on you...”

“Yea...”

“Last thing I remember – back when I was mortal – I was facing three daleks, death by extermination...” ok – what happened to me??? “...then I came back to life...what happened?”

“Rose...” Rose, gorgeous, funny, wonderful Rose?

“I thought you sent her home...”

“I did, she came back...opened the heart of the TARDIS and absorbed the time vortex...”

“What does that mean exactly?” come on...what the fuck happened to me..? I need to know...

“No-one’s ever supposed to have that much power...if a Timelord did that he’d become a God – a vengeful God – but she was human, and everything she did was so human...she brought you back to life, but she couldn’t control it so she brought you back forever...that’s something I suppose – that last act of the Time War was life... oh, Rose, what did you do to me...for me...my Rose...

“You think she could change me back?” ok, the crucial question...

“I took the power out of her...she’s gone Jack...she’s not just living on a parallel world, she’s trapped there...the walls have closed...”

“I’m sorry...” God, Doctor, I’m so sorry...I know what she meant to you...you loved her as I loved you...and that hurts...I’m so very sorry...I wish I could make it better...

“Yea...” visibly sagging, the weight of loss heavy... I wish I could do something...

“Do you want to die?” Do I? Really? I don’t know now...

“This one’s a little tricky...” what do I say? Do I really want to die when I could live forever...travel with the doctor forever..the Doctor and I...around the universe forever...

“Jack..?”

“I thought I did... I don’t know...but this lot..you see them out here...surviving...and that’s fantastic..!

With that, a new understanding was forged, an acceptance of Jack’s existence and they even found enough humour in the situation to flirt a bit... “...this new regeneration...it’s kinda cheeky..!” kinda sexy too...I like it...

All connections complete, Jack exited the chamber and they worked frantically to keep the levels stable enough for the rocket to take off, concentration focused on their task, unspoken trust between them now, a new beginning...

Then Martha and the fob watch happened and events took a very unexpected turn...the meek and mild Professor Yana was a Timelord, his essence concealed long ago in the fob watch...and not just any Timelord – he was The Master...

After electrocuting Chantho he lowered all the defences, allowing the future-kind in, whilst locking Jack, the Doctor and Martha out... Chantho managed to shoot him, her final act of defiance, triggering a regeneration into a younger, dynamic new body...one that was well equipped to do The Master’s evil work...before he escaped in the TARDIS, despite the Doctor’s efforts to reason with him...leaving them stranded as the future-kind battled to get at them.

Grabbing their hands together, the Doctor aimed his sonic screwdriver at Jack’s wristband, activating it, sending them crashing through time to land back in the twenty-first century with numerous aches and pains from the roughest form of time travel...

Now they just needed to find The Master...which turned out to be really easy – Harold Saxon, the new Prime Minister...The Master had the country under his hypnotic spell and this was where their troubles really began...


Chapter 18: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/7909.html