Lost inside of you Part 13/? Sequel to No place to hide

 

Title: Lost inside of you Part 13/?
Author: zazajb
Rating: NC-17 overall, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys, Martha/Tom, The Doctor [10] Lois/Peter
Spoilers - TW anything is possible - via memories, inc DW
Summary: Sequel to No place to hide. Sometimes I don't know where I end and he begins...
Masterlist http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time
This is for the wonderful wise_n_witty who continues to inspire and encourage me  :D

X-posted Jantolution & jackxianto
Thanks to the awesome wykling  for the gorgeous banner *hugs*

A/N Finally recovered from the jetlag, now trying to catch up on all the work I missed – gonna owe cover favours ‘till the turn of the century!! Posting hopefully now back to one a week...

 

 

 

Part 13/?

 

When Ianto opened his eyes it was to find Jack gazing down at him, those blue grey pools shining with emotion and a warmth that started in his toes and spread upwards, through his aching limbs, soothing and calming as it went.

 

“Ja...”

 

“Sshhh...” Jack silenced him with a soft kiss, a kiss full of tenderness and love and something more...wonder and awe..?

 

“but how...?” Ianto sent even as he melted into the embrace and floated on the waves of pleasure that flooded through him, tingling his nerve endings and igniting tiny fires in every cell of his body...it was bliss and he smiled against Jack’s mouth, wrapping his arms tightly around his Captain...they’d come home...home to Nirvana – their perfect moment, each breath, each heartbeat perfectly in time...he gave himself to the moment and they soared together...

 

It was timeless, yet seemed an eternity before they pulled apart for breath, Jack resting his head on Ianto’s chest...feeling the reassuring thud of their synchronised heartbeats...he sighed softly, contentedly...

 

“How did we get here, Jack? I passed out before I had time to reach for it...”

 

“My clever, beautiful, wonderful Ianto! ... you are the one...my one, and you wanted me safe...you didn’t need to think it...you felt it...and you got us here...because we are here – remember – timeless and eternal..? That bond only happens once in a lifetime... and you didn’t pass out...” he faltered.

 

Ianto raised his head off the grass. “Jack..? What aren’t you telling me?”

 

“Um...you died!” he said, simply. “You were connected to me, my thoughts, my memories, so completely that when I died, you died with me...but then you came back with me...only...”

 

Ianto raised an eyebrow, even though Jack couldn’t see him, he seemed aware of it, “don’t be cross...”

 

“Jack!”

 

“...I, er, kept you out of it a bit longer...”

 

“What..?” even his thoughts went up an octave!

 

“It hurts...” Jack said quietly, without emotion, “...coming back really hurts – like being hauled over broken glass, that first breath burns like I’m drinking acid...I didn’t want you to feel it...so I kept you unconscious ‘till the pain stopped...I’ve hurt you enough...” 

 

“C’m here...” Ianto tugged on his t-shirt until they were level and engulfed the older man in a breathtaking hug before capturing his lips in a tender kiss, slipping his tongue into the other man’s mouth where it explored joyously. His hands moved to tangle in his hair and soft moans escaped them both as the kiss deepened.

 

“It goes on the list...” Ianto panted when they came up for air, “...I need to know...”

 

“...but...”

 

“..no buts! You can’t argue with me here Jack – this is Nirvana – our perfect moment...and that doesn’t include us fighting!”

 

Jack gazed down at Ianto’s face – set, determined and oh so beautiful...he grinned, “...but kissing’s ok..?”

 

Ianto’s reply was cut off as his mouth was claimed possessively and he lost himself in the moment as they floated on the clouds, aware of nothing but each other...

 

An age passed – or a moment – until they broke apart gasping for air.

 

Jack traced the outline of Ianto’s sensual lips with his finger, smiling softly as they trembled against his touch. “Time to go back?” he suggested, “...do this for real..?”

 

“Yea! Click your heels and say ‘there’s no place like home...’” he chuckled, pressing a kiss against Jack’s finger...

 

Blinking at the sudden change in the sky, they were once again back under the black velvet and twinkling stars of the Doctor’s mind space. The Timelord was stretched out on his back gazing upwards, contemplating the swirling galaxies above him.

 

“You both ok?” he sent without moving.

 

“Yeah...” they replied together, grinning in their heads.

 

“Another rough ride though..?” the Doctor sat up and flashed the image of Ianto dying in Jack’s arms, watching them intently as they both shuddered, instinctively reaching for the other.

 

“Yeah...but we made it...”

 

“I know...”

 

“Did you help me this time..?”

 

“No – this time you did it by yourself...a few seconds more and I would’ve...but one moment you were there...the next you’d both gone...” he let the unasked question hang in the air.

 

“Yep..!” Ianto nodded, “I got us to Nirvana again...but I’m not really sure how because I didn’t have time to think it...we ‘just arrived’...”

 

“Jack’s right you know – you didn’t need to think it, it was pure feeling...and you have no idea how precious and rare that is...like finding a pure silver unicorn or a five-leaf clover...that connection that comes once in a lifetime and only to a few...” he smiled, “you had enough for today?”

 

“Actually, if it’s ok, I’d like to put this one away before we go...” Jack wrapped his arms around Ianto’s waist and rested his chin on the younger man’s shoulder, “...can you face it again..? It’ll be controlled this time...I promise!”

 

“Do it...”

 

Once again the sky was filled with dark clouds and the memory tumbled across the space above them, the same as before, but muffled...like it was behind a shield...it played frame by frame, but there was no pain this time...almost absurdly, Ianto felt a tiny smile curve the corners of his mouth...

 

Jack paused, gazing at him nonplussed, “Yan..?”

 

“You loved me...then, you loved me then...I mean, I hoped...I sort of knew, but you never said...so...” he looked at the floor, suddenly feeling rather exposed.

 

Jack tipped the Welshman’s face up and brushed his lips lightly against the younger man’s, “ I loved you a long time before that...just never admitted it to myself...not ‘till it was too late...but you captivated me from that very first kiss...”

Ianto’s mind jumped back, the images above dissolved and the sky returned to velvet blackness as new shapes swirled and gradually took form.

 

Ianto was in the kitchen at the Hub, making coffee. He’d placed the cakes on plates on the tray for the rest of the team, leaving his on top of the bag on the side. This was before he was included in the team – he was just the coffee boy, the butler, the cleaner...he was invisible...but that was ok and it suited his purpose...oh, no pun intended...but he suspected that his rather gorgeous Captain had noticed the suits...

 

He groaned faintly, the instant hardening in his groin as he thought of Jack...his boss...it was wrong...he forced the images aside, picturing Lisa instead...the hardness went away only to be replaced with confusion, uncertainty, and anger at his weakness...

 

Biting down hard on his lip, he poured the coffee and took the tray down to his colleagues, placing the mugs and plates carefully next to their workstations before knocking quietly on the door to Jack’s office. He was deep in conversation with, it sounded like the Prime Minister, and just waved Ianto in.

 

Gingerly shuffling the mass of paper aside, Ianto made space on the desk, landing Jack’s favoured blue and white striped mug and a huge fresh cream choux bun in the gap before leaving as quietly as he had entered. He felt Jack’s eyes on his retreating back and resisted the urge to turn around...oh, he wanted to, he really wanted to...no!...Lisa, think about Lisa...

 

...only it was getting harder to stop thinking about Jack...his eyes dancing as he teased, his hands waving as he tried to get his point across, his mouth...smiling...or closing around his chosen sticky cake so that the cream oozed out and stuck to his lips...his coat...the way it billowed out behind him, the way he laughed..., that smile...God, back to that wonderful mouth...the things he’d imagined that mouth doing to him...pressed against his, tongues tangling...kissing its way down his body, hot breath caressing every inch of him...closing around...fuck...bathroom...now...

 

Breathing heavily, Ianto headed to the toilets where he proceeded to deal with the problem in his trousers, panting hard as his hand moved faster and his imagination ran riot – every image of his Captain...his back arched and he gasped as his release exploded over the cubicle wall, sweat trickling down his forehead...

 

As soon as it was over, the euphoric feelings vanished, leaving disgust and confusion in its place  – Jack was his boss...a man... conflicting thoughts and emotions tangled in his mind...he was straight – he had a girlfriend...a cyber-girlfriend he was hiding from his boss...the boss he was distracting with his smart suits and quiet, deft movements...so getting closer was all part of the plan...wasn’t it? He bit down on his bottom lip, frustration washing over him.

 

Cleaning the wall quickly, he zipped up his trousers and then washed his hands in the basin, splashing cool water over his flushed face. His shoulders sagged and he felt the weight of the world bearing down on him...”Lisa...it’s all for Lisa” he whispered to his reflection, before heading back to the kitchen, doubts and insecurities churning in his stomach...

 

So deep in thought, he didn’t notice until he’d entered the tiny kitchen, that it was already occupied. Jack spun round, a chocolate brownie poised at his mouth...his chocolate brownie, Ianto realised with a start.

 

“Sir..?” he raised his eyebrows, trying to ignore the way his heartbeat increased in response to the close proximity of his Captain.

 

“Came for some more of your wonderful coffee...this...” he indicated the brownie, “was just lying there...” He gave Ianto the trademark Harkness grin and raised the brownie back up to his mouth.

 

“I can make you some more coffee, sir, but I think you’ll find that’s my chocolate brownie!” he drew the last few words out, knowing how Jack liked to hear his Welsh vowels...

 

“How ‘bout we share..?”

 

Ianto let out a startled squawk as an arm reached out and pulled him towards his boss until their bodies were pressed together and Jack held the brownie between both their mouths... “just like Lady and the Tramp!” he chuckled, “meet you in the middle..!” and took a bite, chewing slowly and fixing his eyes on the younger man’s. Ianto was struggling to control his breathing and all too aware of the warmth of Jack’s thighs pressed against his, feeling the telltale hardening in his groin as the blush spread across his face...

 

Jack swallowed his mouthful, “...eat, Ianto, or you won’t get any...” he rubbed his hips suggestively against the young man in his arms, his own arousal painfully evident.

 

His cheeks flushed and his eyes betraying his want, Ianto nibbled at his end of the chocolate brownie, his body finding the situation highly erotic, his mind cursing furiously in Welsh and several other languages – all to no avail...he tried to think of Lisa but she was nothing against the hot surge of light that was Jack Harkness, drawing one Ianto Jones to him like a moth to a flame...

 

Jack took the last bite that left their lips millimetres apart. He chewed and swallowed, holding the Welshman firmly in his grasp, his gaze fixed on those innocent clear blue eyes opposite him. He slid one hand behind Ianto’s head and closed the gap between them, pressing his mouth against those sensual and inviting lips, pulling him in tighter with his other arm around his waist.

 

For brief moment Ianto froze, before winding his arms around Jack’s neck and sinking into the kiss, opening his mouth tentatively as Jack nibbled his bottom lip and slid his tongue in to slow dance with his own. He let out a soft moan at the sensations coursing through his body – he’d never been kissed like this before, nothing even came close to the knee-melting pulses of pleasure that left him tingling all over and he was bereft when Jack gently pulled away...

 

“You’re trembling...” he whispered, cupping the young man’s cheek, stroking it softly with his thumb.

 

“...not...” he mumbled, unconsciously leaning towards Jack’s hand...his lips pink and slightly parted, feeling a needy whimper building...

 

“...you want me to stop..?”

 

“...no...” quietly, embarrassed to admit it...

 

Jack leant in again and claimed Ianto’s lips with his own, softly, holding back, not wanting to scare the young man off. Ianto gasped against his mouth and pulled his Captain closer, deepening the kiss and sending his tongue to explore every nook and cranny of the older man’s mouth. Passions rising, they abandoned pretence and broke off for air, panting, before diving back in, the kiss hot and messy now, Jack tangling a hand in the young man’s hair, pressing him close...the world stopped turning as kiss followed kiss and his senses swam...

 

“...Jack..? Oh, God, sorry...Ianto...I’m really sorry..!” Tosh blushed scarlet and backed out of the kitchen she’d walked into, clutching computer readout in her hand...

 

They surfaced to draw breath and turned to gaze at her...Jack looked like a cat who’d got the cream and Ianto...he looked completely wanton, unravelled – face flushed, lips swollen, hair completely dishevelled and a glazed look in his eyes... His eyes met Tosh’s and she smiled, her blush still on her cheeks. Ianto began to wriggle out of Jack’s embrace, embarrassment washing over him at being seen...

 

Jack held him tight and whispered gentle nonsense against his ear, hot breath sending trails of goose-bumps across his skin. As Ianto relaxed in his arms, Jack glanced across, winked, and mouthed “...later..?” at the pretty Japanese tech wizard, who grinned back at him and hurried off, tuning into the CCTV feeds to record the rather hot interactions for posterity...

 

Ianto moaned with pleasure as his mouth was devoured once more by his Captain and his head spun...Jack was intoxicating, lips so responsive, kisses ranging from soft and sweet to hard and passionate, their bodies pressed together, arousal straining against the restriction of clothing...

 

Jack slid a hand down to brush across Ianto’s bulging crotch, sending frantic desire coursing through him and he shuddered...the memory of jerking off earlier shot through his head and he pulled away from Jack in shame...tearing himself out of the warm embrace and bolted out of the door, cursing wildly in his head...

 

Taking sanctuary in the archives, Ianto slumped against the wall as his confused emotions raged war in his head – wild desire battled with thoughts of betrayal and shame, self doubt questioned his sexuality...he’d never thought of men like that before...he heard his Tad “...’course he’s a poofter...should be locked up...” scorn and derision in every word...

 

An unexpected sob shook his body as the tears spilled down his cheeks...what had he done? Lisa...think of Lisa...but it was a long time before his lips stopped tingling from the heat of Jack’s kisses, and an even longer time before he was able to control his tumbling thoughts that refused to be drawn away from the memory of Jack’s mouth on his, Jack’s hands holding him close, that spellbinding aroma that was Jack’s 51^st century pheromones, that look in Jack’s blue grey eyes...he slid down the wall and hugged his knees to his chest as uncertainty and lust continued to battle...

 

Jack leant against the worktop, touching his lips lightly with his fingertips, his eyes widening as a jolt of...something...shot through him... This was...unexpected... He grinned at the coffee machine, adjusted his clothing and headed back to his office, nodding at Tosh as he passed her workstation...

 

Chapte 14: 
http://zazajb.livejournal.com/5786.html