zazajb: (kiss)

Title: In his eyes...
Author: zazajb
Rating: R, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto,
Spoilers – none, set early s2
Summary: A weevil encounter prompts some serious thinking... Words 2280

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, or the song, or the very talented Josh Groban himself... When listening, I have exchanged the her for him/his...  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UVX_hh4wKI

A/N For [livejournal.com profile] wise_n_witty on her birthday, a very special lady who deserves a wonderful birthday. You, my sweet, are amazing, and everything that I am today is inspired by you. Love always xxx

In his eyes...

Their eyes met across the filthy alley for a split second before the stench of the weevil’s fetid breath assailed his nostrils and it’s razor sharp teeth ripped his throat out, Ianto’s cobalt blue depths boring deep into Jack’s own blue grey pools...a look that blazed love and anguish in equal measure, both knowing the inevitable outcome of this particular moment...he stares through my shadow... The body of his Captain fell to the floor with the huge brute of an alien on top of it.

Ianto staggered to his feet and slammed the needle into the back of the creature’s neck, hammered down the plunger and hauled the unconscious beast unceremoniously to one side, as he dropped to his knees to cradle Jack’s head gently in his lap. He closed the older man’s sightless eyes, pressing a tender kiss to each eyelid as he sighed softly, knowing that Jack had deliberately sacrificed himself to save the Welshman when he’d been knocked to the floor...he sees something more...

The three of them remained motionless for long, long minutes – one dead, one sedated...one waiting...

It was half an hour before Ianto observed the first signs of the ragged and torn skin of Jack’s fatal neck wound beginning to heal. He began running his fingers soothingly through Jack’s hair, whispering words of love and nonsense in a mixture of Welsh and English, with the few words of Boshane dialect that he’d learned from his Captain thrown in for good measure.

The limp and lifeless body in his arms suddenly stiffened and Jack’s arms flailed wildly as he drew in that first agonising gasp of air, the dismissal from death as brutal as ever... Ianto tightened his hold and leant closer... “sshh, it’s okay Jack, I’m here Cariad...” believes there’s a light in me...he brushed a kiss to the other man’s forehead, feeling him relaxing in the embrace as he reacquainted himself with the immediate present...he is sure...

Jack’s eyes fluttered open and he gazed up into Ianto’s beautiful face, the grateful smile sliding from his lips as he took in the dried blood trails that started down the side of his temple and vanished into the collar of his shirt “...you’re hurt...” it wasn’t a question. Jack struggled to sit up, turning to tug the young man into his arms as he pressed his lips lightly to his forehead.

“I’m fine, Jack...it’s just a scratch...” and his truth makes me stronger... “and I would’ve d...” Jack’s lips crashing against his swallowed the one word Jack couldn’t contemplate hearing – he couldn’t lose him...ever...the realisation hit him like an express train and he gasped into the frantic kiss does he realise...

Gentle waves of images rolled through Jack’s head as he kissed his Welshman senseless...I awake every morning ...sharing that first coffee of the day, just the two of them in the hub, those wonderful mornings at Ianto’s flat when they’d managed a whole night together, warm and safe under the quilt in their own little haven – one devoid of aliens and saving the world one more time – chasing weevils through the back alleys, his reassuring presence when they were too late and someone lost their life...with his strength by my side...

They came up for air, panting softly, lips just millimetres apart as they shared warm breath, “my brave handsome Captain...” Ianto murmured, moving to cup Jack’s face with his hands as they knelt uncomfortably on the dirty alley floor. He kissed him slowly, deliberately, tongue seeking its mate so they could slow dance, first in one mouth then the other, the kiss intensifying as each melted into the other...

Regretfully they pulled apart and clambered to their feet, dumped the weevil into the boot and headed back to the hub. Their guest was given quarters before they crawled wearily up to the main hub. Owen met them at the top. “What happened?” he demanded, taking in their battered and blood soaked clothing as he steered Ianto firmly away from the kitchen and down towards autopsy.

“Weevil...” Jack shrugged dismissively.

“...and..?” Owen’s eyes narrowed as he caught the glances between the two men. He stopped and planted his hands on his hips. “Okay, spill it, tea boy..!” he glared at Jack, daring him to intervene.

“It took us by surprise, knocked me off my feet and was preparing to rip me to shreds when Jack...” his breath hitched as he replayed the scene in his head and his eyes locked on Jack’s, the emotion in that look overwhelming, every unspoken sentiment exchanged in a split second... Ianto’s shoulders sagged as he bit back a sob. Jack pushed Owen aside and gathered the young man into his arms, holding him tightly as he pressed light kisses to his hair, neck and any other bit he could reach without loosening his hold.

“Autopsy...now!” Owen gave them a gentle push.

Once Ianto was sat on the table with Owen cleaning up the deep gash on the side of his head, wincing as the medic probed the wound for any foreign matter before applying butterfly sutures, his hand clasped tightly in Jack’s, he was able to continue...

“Jack distracted it...and let it...he...he...it killed him instead of me...”

Owen’s eyebrows knitted as he translated, the frown relaxing as he put the bits together- the looks between the two, the silent messages, the refusal of his Captain to let go of the Welshman’s hand when he was checking him for other injuries...I am not a hero...I am not an angel... His eyes met Jack’s...I am just a man...and he nodded, reading the jumbled emotions in the older man’s deep blue grey pools...man who’s trying to love him unlike any other... He nodded, “...stay here, I’ll get the girls to make some tea...keep him warm, he’s in shock and he’s got mild concussion so don’t let him go to sleep...” Instructions issued, Owen disappeared up the stairs, leaving them alone.

Jack moved into the gap between Ianto’s knees and wrapped his arms around him as the young man melted into his embrace. “I almost lost you today...” can’t lose him...I love him...in his eyes I am... He tipped Ianto’s chin up and captured his lips tenderly, the kiss soft and full of emotion as each gave themselves to the other, the weight of those three words they still couldn’t say out loud packed into that single kiss...

Owen smiled indulgently and shook his head as he watched them from the railings overlooking autopsy before shooing the girls up to the kitchen to make some tea and bring them up to date.

By the time Owen reappeared with Tosh and Gwen in tow and a tray of steaming mugs, Ianto had been kissed to the cosmos and back again and was now panting softly, his face flushed, lips deliciously pink and kiss swollen as he rested his head against Jack’s chest, his arms looped around his Captain’s waist. He protested as Owen prised Jack off him so he could check his head wound and vision.

“You kept him warm I see!” grinning at the deepening hue of the young man’s cheeks as the girls giggled, relieved to see the Welshman in one piece after his brush with death. After some more prodding and poking and a barrage of questions to check his mental faculties were undamaged from the knock on his head, Owen released him into Jack’s care, handing the young man a small pot of pain killers in case of need. “Oh and Jack...nothing energetic tonight, got it!” Owen chuckled, adding, “now piss off all of you unless you want to help with the autopsy of that Hoix we caught in the muck pile yesterday...” Autopsy was deserted in seconds...

Jack ordered the others home at four thirty, noting that Ianto was looking pale again. This world keeps on spinning... He’d watched him on the CCTV, in between more weevil alerts and some space junk in Bute Park, throughout the afternoon as the young man had worked in the archives, refusing to go home or rest. Every time he thought about how close he’d come to losing him, it had sent icy trails of fear down his spine – he couldn’t lose him...only he steals my heart... Without Jack noticing this modest and unassuming Welshman had quietly dismantled every barrier that had kept his emotions safely locked away to settle deep within his heart and he realised that the world had a depth and vibrancy to it when Ianto was by his side...he’s my inspiration...he gave him meaning and direction...he’s my Northern Star...

Ianto came out of the office, their empty mugs in his hands, as he headed across to the kitchen. Jack followed him, watching as he rinsed the mugs and set them to dry. I don’t count my possessions...all I call mine... As the young man reached for the beans to make some fresh, Jack batted his hands away and tugged him into his arms, sliding one hand round to the small of his back and the other to the back of his neck, pulling him close before capturing his mouth in a passionate kiss that quickly became wild and messy as they writhed against each other...I give him completely to the end of all time...

Ianto moaned against Jack’s mouth as he ground their hips together, desire and feral want building rapidly. His hands groped at Jack’s clothes, pulling the braces from his shoulders and fumbling with the buttons of his shirt as Jack attacked the buttons on Ianto’s waistcoat. They came up for air, briefly, diving straight back in to more hot, wet kisses, teeth clashing as they continued to tear each other’s clothes off...I am not a hero...I am not an angel...

Jacket, waistcoat, shirts and undershirt piled up on the floor, hands scrabbling at belts, buckles, buttons and zips until the offending items pooled around their ankles to leave them almost naked...I am just a man...They toed off shoes, boots and socks, finally kicking their tangled undergarments and trousers away as they thrust and arched together, senses reeling, passions rising...man who’s trying to love him unlike any other...

Pulling away Jack launched an assault on Ianto’s neck, nipping with his teeth and soothing with his tongue, the Welshman’s moans rising in volume as his Captain moved down his body, pausing to leave vivid purple bruises at random intervals. Ianto’s breath was a mix of hard pants and loud groans, his knees were weak and his body was trembling from head to foot, a hoarse cry escaping his gloriously pink, kiss-swollen lips as Jack’s mouth closed around him...in his eyes I am...

Ianto felt the waves of pleasure building, raging through his body, igniting fires in every nerve ending, muscles taut and straining, his focus narrowed to nothing but the feel of Jack’s hands and the heat of his mouth. He arched forward, crying out Jack’s name as he exploded...fireworks going off in his brain and he almost blacked out with the intensity of his climax, his body shuddering repeatedly until he slumped limply against the worktop.

Jack released him and slid up his body, crushing their lips together, his tongue diving into his Welshman’s mouth so he could taste himself as he was kissed into oblivion... Parting long, breathless minutes later, Jack gazed into Ianto’s eyes, drowning himself in the intensity of emotion that reflected back at him as tears spilled down the young man’s cheeks...in his eyes I see the sky and all I’ll ever need...

He tipped the Welshman’s chin up and brushed his tears aside gently with his thumbs, pressing light kisses to every inch of his face, feeling him trembling in his arms. “Sshh, it’s ok...it’s going to be okay...” punctuating his words with more soft kisses. “C’mon...” Entwining their fingers, he led them to his office and down the ladder where he pulled back the covers and urged the now shivering Ianto into bed, climbing in after him and tugging him back into his arms, pressing their bodies together to feel the heat of his skin transfer to the chilled body beside him.

Ianto snuggled in close and lost himself in the feel of Jack’s reassuring warmth wrapped around him. He closed his eyes as Jack continued to pepper his skin with loving kisses, gradually relaxing under the gentle touch of his Captain’s lips. Jack stroked his hair and held him tightly, “...better?” he whispered, his breath soft and warm against Ianto’s ear...in his eyes time passes by and he is with me...

“Mmnn,” he mumbled, the soothing stroking of his hair and the lingering effects of his wild release making him deliciously drowsy. His breathing slowed and he drifted off, secure in the arms of the man he loved...

Jack continued to thread his fingers through the young man’s hair, loving the silky feel of it against his skin knowing that he’d die a thousand times if it kept Ianto safe and with him a bit longer...in his eyes I am...

Pressing closer to the warmth of his gorgeous Welshman, he closed his eyes and joined him in sated sleep...in his eyes...

End

 

 Happy Birthday sweetheart xxx

 


zazajb: (coming home)

Title: Hidden away
Author: zazajb
Rating: R, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto
Spoilers : Set in the days after KKBB
Summary: Jack and Ianto’s thoughts after Jack’s return... Words 2150

Warnings: angst, mentions of character death

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, anything you recognise is owned by RTD &BBC – I just get to dabble with them from time to time. I don’t own the song or JG either!
A/N Inspired by the gorgeous song of the same name, sung by the awesome Josh Groban http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcu24OKZNIo

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & TW_classic , tw_proper [apologies to those getting this multiple times]


AN: Dedicated to my wonderful friends – with sincere thanks for all the birthday wishes, dedicated fic, cards, PMs, virtual gifts, e-cards and tweets – love you all...and this story is for you... xxx

 

Hidden away

Ianto stared out into the dark, silent tears trickling down his cheeks as he gazed at the motionless silhouette of his Captain on the edge of the roof, the only movement from the billowing of his coat in the stiff breeze...

Jack had been back a week, sliding straight back into leader-mode and aside from the whole “I came back for you...” and the hesitant and endearingly uncertain request for a date, they’d been as far apart as they’d been when Jack was away...wherever he’d been...

Those three months had been hell - time had ground to a halt, the world existed only in shades of grey...all things bright and vibrant extinguished with the vanishing of the police box on that awful day...That day when he’d gone from broken to euphoric...and back to broken within the space of a few short hours... His fragile heart had been shattered into a million pieces as he’d watched Jack, radiating that jaw-droppingly beautiful grin of his, disappear from reality – taking all of Ianto’s freshly kiss-awakened hopes and dreams with him...come back to me Jack...please... He’d whispered those words into the darkness every night...to no avail...

Now Jack was back...and further away than ever before, his smile no longer reached his eyes and so many times he’d opened his mouth to say something but when no words had appeared he’d visibly trembled, grabbed his coat and disappeared out of the roller door, not returning for hours. Tonight Ianto had decided to follow him after fruitless nights waiting for him to return in the hope that they’d be able to say more than three words to each other...

He’d not been surprised to see Jack heading for his favourite rooftop but was unprepared for the sound of muffled sobs floating back. He knew Jack was hurting, they both were, but this was heartbreaking....

He’d imagined their reunion so many times, so many lonely nights curled up in Jack’s bunker...so many different ways, but this scenario had never occurred to him – granted, most of them had involved lots of kissing and satisfying sex...however, this broken and unreachable Jack was a far cry from any romantic notions he’d had of his Captain stood under an azure alien sky, arms spread wide as he grinned broadly and enjoyed adventure after adventure before coming home triumphant to share his stories...over mountains and sky blue seas...on great circles will you watch for me...

He’d had high hopes when Jack had met his gaze, his “I came back for you...” sending the butterflies that had invaded his stomach into raptures...the sweetest feeling I’ve got inside...I just can’t wait to get lost in your eyes... the angry glares from the others dragging a hastily amended “all of you...” and the butterflies had crash landed, leaving a bitter taste as hurt forced him to look away.

Fresh tears burnt a trail down the Welshman’s face as Jack’s shoulders shook and he caught the faint anguished whisper of his own name...and all these words that you meant to say...

Every day since, they’d watched each other, neither daring to make the first move for fear of rejection, the anguish carefully concealed behind Jack’s classic 1940’s attire and Ianto’s pristine wool-blend pinstripes, purple Swiss cotton shirts and red silk ties; exquisite coffee and murmured Sir’s...held in silence day after day...as each broke a little more...

Ianto had stayed later and later at the hub after the others had gone home, hoping...talk to me Jack...hopes rising when Jack’s trembling hand had reached out, only to be withdrawn as the Captain had failed yet again to produce any sound from his open mouth and had run away once more...words of kindness that our poor hearts crave...

Ianto had been left alone again, tears filling his eyes as he gazed at the space where Jack had been moments earlier...please don’t keep them hidden away...

A strangled sob escaped and he ducked back into the shadows as Jack froze before turning... “Ianto..?” his voice shook... “Ianto..? please...”  

Steeling himself, Ianto stepped out into the open, his breath catching in his throat as Jack’s tear stained face took on a look that was both heart wrenchingly fragile yet hungry and hopeful at the same time.

“Jack...I...I...” he faltered, not knowing where to begin or even if he had the words to say what he felt...sing it out – so I can finally breathe in...I can take in all you say... He bit down on his bottom lip...time to risk all the strength he had left...and opened his arms...

Moments later he had an armful of sobbing Captain as Jack’s lips crashed onto his and he found himself drowning in the achingly familiar intoxicating scent that was Jack as their tongues reacquainted themselves with the taste of the other before roaming freely to map every contour of each other’s mouths, the kiss hot and messy now as hands tugged bodies closer and they lost themselves to frantic desire.

They broke apart reluctantly, only when oxygen replenishment became essential for the continuance of life, arms wrapped possessively around each other as they panted heavily, lips just millimetres apart... Ianto let out a shaky breath and a tentative chuckle as Jack’s arms tightened around him and he felt his lips hot against his ear, “stay...”

Ianto moved a hand to caress the older man’s cheek gently, brushing the still damp tear tracks away with his thumb, “now I’ve got you, Jack, I’m not going anywhere...” holding out for something I believe in...as he claimed his Captain’s mouth once more...all I really need today...this kiss soft and tender as he revelled in the feel of Jack’s lips under his own and the heavy warmth of their bodies pressed close, ardent arousal evident and sending hot sparks of flame through them as they squirmed and ground hips together in an attempt to gain some friction from the woefully inadequate confines of their trousers...

This time when they came up for air, Jack took Ianto’s hand and led him wordlessly away from the roof, back to the hub and down the ladder. Their eyes met as they faced each other, Ianto’s clear blue depths blazing with a love that brought fresh tears to Jack’s own blue grey pools...I want to free your heart...

Trembling hands reached for each other’s clothes, removing each layer carefully until they stood naked. This time Jack opened his arms and Ianto fell into them, moaning into his Captain’s mouth as their lips met and he was kissed senseless, his hands tangling one into Jack’s hair and the other pressing into the small of his back to keep him close...

They staggered backwards until their legs hit the edge of Jack’s tiny bunk and they tumbled onto it... Ianto tore his mouth from Jack’s to attack his neck, sucking at the soft skin behind his ear, Jack’s low moan and the shudder that rattled through him bringing the Welshman to an abrupt halt, “Jack..? You want me to stop..?”

He looked up to see fresh tears gleaming as Jack shook his head, the look pleading... “Wherever you went, it was bad...you were hurt...” It wasn’t a question but Jack’s tiny whispered “yes...” and the haunted look in his eyes broke Ianto’s heart that tiny bit more and he reached down to entwine their hands, “I’m here cariad, and I’ll stop any time...just say...talk to me, Jack...I want to see your heart...please don’t keep your heart hidden away...

Jack’s eyes closed as Ianto’s lips continued down his neck and across his throat, lapping lightly in the hollow at the base before moving back up the other side to claim his lips in a searing kiss as Jack arched against him...

Jack trembled and quivered, aching with desire and when Ianto finally made love to him, he felt complete again...wave upon wave of pure bliss that rolled through his body as sensation after sensation swept him away to float amongst the stars and the tortures of the past year receded... Captivated by Ianto’s delicious kisses they slipped into sated sleep, limbs wrapped around each other, pressed close together in the limited space as Ianto kept him safe...

Jack awoke with a jump as the Master’s footsteps sounded outside in the corridor and he suppressed a whimper as he blinked in the darkness and breathed in the reassuring scent of the Welshman who lay warm in his arms, allowing the familiar aroma to ground and calm him from his nightmare.

Carefully he propped himself up on his elbow to gaze down at the man who’d kept him fighting that long year...you’re a wonder...how bright you shine...the man he’d come back for but hadn’t told, terrified that he’d scare the young man away...terrified that admitting how he felt left him vulnerable – he hadn’t let anyone into his heart for so very long now...his protection from the inevitable pain when they died and left him alone once again...a flickered candle in a short lifetime...

But he loved him, he knew that now... Jack’s hand trembled as he ran his fingers softly across Ianto’s shoulder, following the lines of his body down the side of his toned downy hair-covered chest to his waist and the gentle curve of his hip, stilling his hand as the Welshman shifted minutely, leaning into the touch…secret dreamer that never shows…

He’d watched the young man closely these past days and he’d seen the hurt that he’d concealed behind that perfect exterior, knowing that he was the cause of that pain...if no-one sees you then nobody knows... Ianto had kept him alive – his soul alive - every time the Master had sent his body into the darkness, Ianto had been a beacon of pure light, of hope and love...something to cling on to and he needed to tell him...and all these words you were meant to say...

They needed to talk...held in silence day after day... He owed it to Ianto...he wanted so much more than before, all those things he’d run from before he’d vanished with the Doctor...words of kindness that our poor hearts crave... He wanted to be with this amazing Welshman for as long as he had...please don’t keep them hidden away...

“Jack...it’s rude to stare!” Ianto’s amused voice cut into his musings and a smile curved the corners of that soft and sensual mouth as his eyes met the Welshman’s.

“Tell him!” a voice in the back of his head chided gently...sing it out, so I can finally breathe in...I can take in all you say...

Ignoring the voice, he leant down to press a tender kiss to that gorgeous mouth “So, Ianto…you up for round two…?” the hoarse whisper sent shivers down the young man’s body and he moaned as a gentle hand reached out to cup his face and tug him back into another soft kiss…a kiss that grew in intensity as Jack’s tongue mapped the inside of the Welshman’s mouth and the other hand sought a different, much lower, area of his body…reaching out for someone I believe in...

Giving himself totally to the glorious sensations raging through him, Ianto melted into the embrace, kissing back fiercely as their bodies arched together and he lost himself in everything that was just Jackall I really need today...I want to feel your love...

Somewhere, deep within the burning passion and searing kisses, Ianto knew his heart was lost…given freely to this complex and larger-than-life man who carried so much pain and responsibility on his shoulders… will you reveal your love...

He moaned as Jack kissed him into oblivion, caressing, teasing...please don’t keep your love...hidden away...every touch like fire on heated skin until they were joined completely and they exploded into blissful ecstasy…

Lost in a pleasurable warm and tingling afterglow, his eyelids fluttering closed Ianto was startled to feel Jack’s lips press lightly against his own before the whispered “I love you, Ianto...I’ll never leave you again...” I want to free your heart...

Blue grey depths that radiated with emotion met clear blue pools...I want to see your heart... “Love you too, Jack...and I’m glad you’re back...” Please don’t keep your heart...hidden away...

End

AN1: Please bear with me these next few weeks – I’m exam marking at the moment and it is a vicious beast which consumes my every waking hour outside of work... This means I’m behind on my reading [I’ll catch up eventually!] and my writing – there is another Captain Coat and Coffee Man in progress, plus several more planned, as well as an AU... Believe me when I say the withdrawal symptoms from LJ will have me climbing the walls before I’m done! So...I’ll be scarce for about 3 weeks – and then beware as I’ll be driving you all mad and you’ll be sick of me!!!

 


zazajb: (coming home)

Title: Don’t tell me it’s too late...
Author: zazajb
Rating: R, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, team
Spoilers : Set during and after KKBB
Summary: Jack’s back and struggling to find the words to talk to Ianto about their relationship... Words 3150

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time, neither do I own the song or singer.
A/N Inspired by the gorgeous song by Josh Groban http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FPA8DHdia8

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & TW_classic , tw_proper, jantosparkle, theijs [apologies to those getting this multiple times]

A/N1 This has been crashing around in my head for days and was getting in the way of everything else so I gave in and pinned it to the keyboard! Hope you enjoy.

 

Don’t tell me that it’s too late...

Jack was back. That familiar grin, the coat and those bloody 51st Century pheromones... Ianto knew he was gaping and there was nothing he could do to stop himself. But the thing he hated most of all was knowing that despite being totally pissed at the way he’d just left them....left him after kissing him like that – now that was more than a part-time shag kiss – he still wanted to fling himself into his Captain’s arms and snog his face off...shit!

Their eyes met and he caught a myriad of emotions lurking within those blue grey depths – pain, grief, guilt, relief and delight all fighting for dominance. He bit his lip and dropped his gaze, feeling the other man’s eyes lingering...burning into the back of his skull as he turned away, biting down hard on his bottom lip. He ignored his increased heart rate and the butterflies that had suddenly invaded his stomach and concentrated on the clear up required at the scene. By the time the room had been cleared of dead Blowfish, the curtains sponged clean of splattered Blowfish brains and the family treated for shock, gunshot wounds and then retconned, it was late and he was knackered.

The drive back to the hub was made in uneasy silence, each of the team lost in their own thoughts, assessing their own reactions to the return of their erstwhile dynamic leader. It wasn’t until they fell into their familiar, sans Jack, routine that the emotions churning under the surface burst through when Jack chanced a light-hearted remark about coping without him and he got it...both barrels!

“You left us, Jack – we knew nothing...” Gwen shoved at his chest.

“I know...I’m sorry”

“Where did you go?”

A flicker of a smile crossed his face and the warmth in his eyes tore at Ianto’s heart, the knife twisting in his gut at his words, “I found my Doctor...”

“Did he fix you?” Owen was snarky.

“What’s to fix? You don’t mess with this level of perfection!” the typical Jack response accompanied the trademark Harkness grin, but the smile never reached his eyes Ianto noticed, shadows lurking behind the facade...

“You’ll go back to him...” the words were out of Ianto’s mouth before he realised he’d spoken aloud.

Hurt flashed across that handsome face, “I came back for you...” he looked into Ianto’s eyes, reading suspicion and uncertainty before the Welshman dropped his gaze. Jack gulped. “All of you,” he amended hastily as he noticed the hostile looks from the others...

They’d had no time to ponder on anything Jack had said – or not said – as Captain John Hart was upon them with his swagger and sarcasm, paralysing lip gloss and slightly smaller wrist strap which he over compensated for with a vastly larger ego. Ianto hated him on sight, even more so when he learned of the past relationship with their Captain.

“We were partners...”

“In what way?”

“In every way...”

He cursed under his breath realising that this psychopath with his chiselled cheekbones and quick wit was an ex-lover and judging by the looks he was giving Jack, he was all for renewing that intimacy. Could the day get any better? Apparently so, because after the surprise of an uncertain and quite endearingly hesitant Jack asking him out on a date as they searched an office for Captain-bloody-Hart’s elusive cluster bombs, he found himself with a new nickname and a face full of Hart’s gun. Cursing himself for being caught out so easily, he surrendered his own weapon and raced to find the others when Hart forced him into the elevator with a promise to shoot on sight if he returned.

It was some comfort to discover that the team, though beaten, bloody and poisoned, were alive. Jack, after another death courtesy of a shove off the roof by a bitter and rejected Hart, was able to stun his ruthless and murderous ex-partner into finally telling the truth and with much high drama, handcuffs and a last minute dash with some innovative quick thinking by Owen, Captain John Hart was sent back from whence he came and now they all had to avoid themselves for twenty four hours...bloody fantastic!

In the two weeks that had passed since that day, Jack had resumed his leadership, in some respects almost as if he’d never left...save one... Although he’d asked Ianto out on a date, nothing more had been mentioned and Jack had been distant with him ever since. He missed the intimacy they’d had before Jack had left with the Doctor and despite the hurt, he couldn’t help but long for the days when they’d share a coffee after the others had gone, share stolen kisses around the hub and long passionate love-making down in Jack’s bunk...in the hot house...in the archives...in Jack’s office...

His hands followed their well practiced and familiar routine as he sorted out the last afternoon coffee round with the images from a particularly hot session filling his mind as he was pressed up against the kitchen door whilst the others were at their desks. It had been a near miss with that weevil, the scrape down the side of his neck a testament to that fact and Jack had been in his arms, kissing him with an urgency and passion that had them both fighting back the tears as the realisation of just how close that had been...

He bit back a sob. He’d give anything for a moment like that now. Jack was back, but he was a hollow empty shell of the man he’d been before he went away...broken and Ianto didn’t know how to reach him. A lone tear escaped and he brushed it aside impatiently, concentrating on making Jack’s favourite blend...

In his office, Jack watched his Welshman on the CCTV and once again the pang of longing was enough to make him wince. He reached a trembling finger out to stroke the image on the screen. There was so much he wanted to say to him, the need to wrap him into his arms and kiss him into the next universe was a constant physical ache but after the incident with Hart he didn’t know where to start. Every day he resolved that this was the day he said something, anything to get Ianto back, even if it was only for friendship...he missed their easy banter and those quiet coffees at the start and end of the day, missed the sparkle in those blue eyes as they teased him and the warmth of his body pressed close as they snuggled in his tiny bunk after a mind blowing session of hot lovemaking.

He closed his eyes and imagined himself tugging the young man onto his lap when he delivered his coffee, planned the words he was going to say for all the times I tried for this...and every chance at you I missed... How to explain why he’d gone I’ve been known to go my way... How to say that only the thought of Ianto had kept him fighting on the Valiant...but I confess, it made me miss you more... Oh, the bitter irony – all that time denying his feelings...I drew my line across the sand refusing to admit that he loved this wonderful Welshman...he didn’t do love, not for so very long now...it’s better that way...and set my flag in no-man’s land...

Finding himself alone and shackled in that grimy boiler room his thoughts returned time and time again to that face, that cute button nose, deliciously pink lips and those gorgeous Welsh vowels. He’d meant that kiss, then he’d left him behind, only to find a piece of his soul missing - this quiet and unassuming young man had ducked all his barricades to settle firmly in his heart and the image of him smiling had burned brightly with every death and agonising return to life. How naive he’d been to assume that they could just resume on his return...but here I am, the one-man-band, with a song that’s meant for two...

The sight of his Welshman wiping away a tear filled him with both hope and guilt...hope that Ianto was hurting as much as he was because he wanted more than the stilted working relationship they had at present and then the heavy burden of guilt knowing that he’d caused the hurt in the first place. He shifted miserably in his chair. This had to stop – he needed to know for both their sakes. He watched as Ianto loaded the tray with mugs and what looked like chocolate brownie, his favourite...all those little ways Ianto was reaching out to him and he’d not noticed, so busy looking at the big picture he’d missed the important things, but now he could see clearly...and there is a light from a higher window shining down on you tonight...

Ianto was now in the main hub, handing coffee and cake round to the others. Jack snapped off the CCTV and tugged a file towards him in an attempt to look busy when the young man arrived, in reality staring unseeingly at the sheets in front of him, his attention fixed on the door and the sure certainty that he was going to put things right between them. He ached to hold him, to kiss those soft and sensual lips and run his fingers through his hair...

He heard the measured steps approaching and held his breath. Ianto tapped lightly on the door and came in. “Coffee, sir...” those Welsh vowels caressed his ears and sent a surge of heat to his groin. He looked up into the younger man’s eyes, saddened to see the usually sparking blue dulled with pain. He reached his hand out, only to have his coffee placed carefully into it. Their fingers brushed briefly and he felt the tingle of electricity at the skin to skin contact, his breath hitching as he looked to see if Ianto had felt it too. The spark in those gorgeous blue depths urged him on as he used his other hand to plonk the mug on the desk whilst retaining hold of Ianto’s hand.

“Jack...I...”

“Ianto...I...” they both spoke at the same time, both faltering and looking away.

Ianto bit his lip anxiously, the action sending a stab of fear through the older man and he tightened his grip on Ianto’s captive hand, tugging him closer. “Ianto...I’m...fuck!” Jack swore, sounding more like Owen than himself, as the rift alarm blared out and Ianto pulled his hand away, retreating down to Tosh’s workstation. Jack cursed expressively under his breath and kicked his desk as he followed in the Welshman’s wake.

“What is it Tosh?” he snapped, the tone drawing raised eyebrows from the team.

“Hoix at Cardiff Central station, causing chaos judging by the reports coming in from numerous sources...” Tosh looked searchingly at him, “we can handle it if you want..?” she let the question hang, gently reminding him they were no longer the innocents he’d left behind.

“No, thanks, Tosh...sorry...I was just in the middle of something important...” his eyes flickered towards Ianto who was moving towards the coat stand, “I shouldn’t have snapped at you. We’ll all go...” at least he could keep his Welshman close. He moved swiftly to where Ianto held his coat out as always, slipping into the heavy wool and leaning into the touch as the young man smoothed the fabric over his shoulders in that intimate and familiar way. It would be okay, this was just a temporary setback...wasn’t it?

It was gone eight o’clock by the time they’d dealt with the Hoix and retconned everyone who’d seen it – which ended up being a very large number of people as the creature had led them a merry dance across platforms and live lines, eventually being cornered in the lost luggage office after following a temping trail of sandwiches and biscuits commandeered from several different vendors. The others did their reports as quickly as possible and split, declining offers of coffee. Jack slumped in his chair as the roller door clunked into place behind them.

He rubbed his hands tiredly over his face – he might not need as much sleep as most normal people, but a year of incessant torture had left him world weary, coupled with long lonely hours on a rooftop every night since he’d been back...he closed his eyes and moments later he was asleep.

When Ianto had finally finished settling their new guest in the cells and made it to Jack’s office with the coffee it was approaching ten. He smiled softly at the sight of his sleeping Captain, picking up his greatcoat from the sofa where Jack had dropped it and draped it carefully over him. He pressed a barely-there kiss to the older man’s temple before scribbling a quick post-it and left.

Jack opened his eyes slowly, wondering why he felt so warm. He groped at his coat and sat up. A quick glance at the clock told him it was just after midnight. Damn! He shouldn’t have fallen asleep...Ianto, he needed to talk to Ianto...if it wasn’t too late... Shaking his head to clear the last vestiges of sleep, a flash of neon pink post-it caught his eye and he grabbed it off the desk. As he read it, a relieved smile spread across his face.

Sweet dreams Sir, it’s a brand new day tomorrow and the world can wait a little longer! I

Digging in his pocket he fished out his mobile and his finger hovered over #1 on speedial. He frowned and jammed the phone back into his pocket as he stood and shrugged into his coat. Moments later he was speeding to Ianto’s. Nervous adrenalin kept him moving up the stairs two at a time until he stood outside the Welshman’s front door and he hesitated before knocking, his hand hovering in mid air. What if he was asleep, or in the shower or...

As if in answer there were sounds of movement from within and he could hear the Goddess Ella’s ‘Ev’ry time you say goodbye’ wafting out into the quiet hallway...and the music floats on the breeze... Taking this as a sign he knocked softly...bringing an easier time...

The door opened slowly and Ianto gazed at him hopefully. He looked utterly beautiful – jacket off, waistcoat undone and hanging open, tie swinging loose and the top buttons of his shirt freed to reveal a tempting glimpse of soft downy hair.

Jack gulped and held out the post-it “...it’s tomorrow now...” he managed to rasp...and all of our cards are on the table...

Ianto smiled, the corners of that perfect mouth curving just a little, and stood back, leaving the invitation unspoken...tell me what you want to do...

A  step, or two, and the door closed behind him as they looked at each other. Jack opened his mouth but nothing came out, horror filling his eyes as he struggled to find the words he so desperately needed to say...just don’t tell me that it’s too late...

Ianto’s smile softened and he held out his arms, their mouths crashing together as Jack threw himself into them and wrapped his Welshman into a tight embrace...for me to love you...as they kissed hungrily, tongues tangling fiercely as each reacquainted itself with the taste of the other.

That kiss was like air to a drowning man and Jack put every feeling and emotion he’d tried to vocalise these past weeks, hands raking up and down the young man’s body...how perfect we were meant to be...each melting into the other as two parts of a puzzle...our warm and silent symmetry... As they panted and moaned and kissed, the kiss deepening with every swipe of tongue across pink and swollen lips it was like they’d never been apart...it’s times like these when all, all we need, is to be reminded...

With every moment in Ianto’s arms, every flick of his tongue and every touch of his hands the memories of that boiler room faded away...and I have flown a thousand miles, to empty room and crowded aisles...and he knew that this was where he belonged...and we went from Cathedral bells to show and tell and ‘wish you well’s... They broke apart gasping for air, Ianto burying his head into Jack’s neck as he immersed himself in the blissful sensation of everything that was just Jack. He protested faintly when Jack pulled back to look at him...and I, I still look at you...the intense gaze seeming to penetrate deep into his soul to see all that he was. “God, Ianto...” and I am blinded...Jack breathed, “you’re so fucking beautiful...” I am blinded...

A trembling hand traced the outline of Ianto’s face, ghosting over his cheekbones, his nose and his lips, Jack’s eyes devouring the sight greedily...because there is a light from a higher window... “I thought about you all the time I was away...you were the one thing that kept me going – the thought that I was coming home for you...for us...shining down on us tonight...

He pulled the young man closer, bringing their lips together tenderly, smiling into the kiss as the track changed and ‘Someone to watch over me’ began to play...and the music floats on the breeze from an easier time... Ianto moaned against Jack’s mouth as the kiss deepened and hot fingers of desire spread through him, fisting his hands into his Captain’s hair and grinding their hips together...and all of our cards are on the table...

They came up for air, breath tiny pants, hearts racing, arousals straining against the restrictions of their trousers and their eyes met...tell me what you want to do...

Ianto gasped at the raw emotion in Jack’s eyes – hunger, feral want and love burning from those blue grey pools, pressing a finger against the older man’s mouth as he opened it to speak...just don’t tell me that it’s too late now...knowing what he was going to say and suddenly finding that he didn’t need to hear it – he already knew...for me to love you...

He reached for Jack’s hand and led him to the bedroom. “Show me...” he whispered as Jack’s mouth crashed onto his and they fell on to the bed in a tangle of limbs and he was kissed into oblivion...

End

 


zazajb: (kiss mine jack ianto)

Title: My confession...
Author: zazajb
Rating: NC-17, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto,
Spoilers – none, set early s2
Summary: Jack ponders his feelings... Words 2350

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time

A/N Someone asked me for this some time ago and I can’t remember who! If it was you, let me know and I’ll change this! Anyway, I was going to do Josh Groban’s Illuminations until I listened to the words of this and they took my breath away... Muse identified! Step forward the lovely [livejournal.com profile] sassysailorgirl  Glad you liked it love *hugs* xxx
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OhI1EhAQWI

A/N 1 More Captain Coat and Coffee Man in the next couple of days plus a few others...a bit of sunshine and the bunnies are hopping!

My confession

Jack leant on the railings outside his office and watched Ianto as he delivered the mugs of coffee and plates of chocolate brownie to the team. He didn’t look as though he’d narrowly escaped an untimely death at the hands – or teeth – of a particularly vicious male weevil less than two hours ago... In fact, apart from the bruise on his temple and the long claw scrape that ran down the side of his neck and disappeared into the pristine collar of purple Swiss cotton, there were no outward signs at all.

Jack’s heart hammered in his chest and he caught his breath as he realised just how perilously close he’d come to losing his precious Welshman. This was followed by the earth shattering realisation of just how precious he really was...and not just to the team, but to him...I have been blind...

Suddenly it was hard to breathe as his stomach took a body blow, driving the air from his lungs as his head was filled with the memory of Ianto’s prone body on the grubby alley floor with blood spilling down to soak into his shirt... Blinking those images away, his heart skipped a beat as Ianto turned to glance up – no doubt feeling the intensity of his Captain’s gaze burning into the back of his head! The young man gave him a tiny smile, curving the corners of his mouth...that gorgeous mouth that Jack loved to kiss until their lips were pink and swollen and their heads were spinning...

As Ianto vanished down the steps to autopsy with Owen’s coffee, Jack closed his eyes, images of their lovemaking that morning racing through his mind, that look blazing from Ianto’s cobalt blue eyes as they met his own...the young man’s love given freely and without condition...and he knew without question that he’d been hiding from his own feelings for too long...unwilling...to see the true love you’re giving...

“I almost lost you today...” he whispered to the empty air, opening his eyes to find them brimming with unshed tears...I have ignored every blessing... He turned and went back into his office, slumping heavily into his chair, knowing that today could have been so different if he’d been just a minute later... A tear slid down his face as he sent a prayer and a promise heavenward...I’m on my knees, confessing...a promise that he would change...

“Ianto...” he breathed...he needed to tell him...that I feel myself surrender each time I see your face... to tell him how he felt...I am captured by your beauty...your unassuming grace... It was a feeling he’d hidden from, eons worth of barriers he’d constructed to keep his emotions locked away, to protect himself from the inevitable grief when they left him alone once more, their bodies turning to dust as he lived on... Ianto was different, somehow this quiet, perfect pinstripe clad young Welshman had managed to melt away his defences...and I feel my heart is turning – falling into place...

He brushed the tear away as Ianto reappeared from autopsy and made his way towards the stairs up to his Captain’s office, two mugs left on his tray. Hurriedly pulling a file from the pile stacked up in his ‘IN’ tray, Jack attempted to look nonchalant and immersed in his work as Ianto tapped lightly on the open door and came in.

Jack glanced up from his report and smiled in greeting. “What..!” as the young man’s eyebrow quirked and a grin spread across his face as he placed mugs and plates on the desk.

“Working hard are we...sir?” those delicious Welsh vowels sent shivers of desire down his spine.

“Yes I am...all afternoon!”

Ianto’s bottom lip quivered with amusement in a way that had Jack squirming in his chair, needing to adjust his trousers to a more comfortable position...

“It’s usual, I assume to have the paper the right way up to ease the reading of such important reports...” a breathy chuckle escaped those soft and sensual lips as Jack realised he’d been caught out and he grinned ruefully.

“Okay, you got me! I’ve been ogling my archivist for most of the afternoon and trying to decide if it’s quiet enough to send everyone home early so I can ravish him...”

Ianto’s endearing blush and the delighted laugh as he threw his head back, exposing his pale throat decided Jack once and for all and he reached out to drag the Welshman bodily into his lap, sliding one hand around the back of his neck and curling the other one around his waist as he captured his lips in a sweet and tender kiss...I can’t hide, now hear my confession...

Ianto’s gasp of surprise was lost as he sank into the embrace, winding his arms around Jack’s neck to thread his fingers lovingly through the older man’s hair as he was kissed into oblivion, losing himself in everything that was just Jack...Their tongues swirled joyously together before each explored every contour of the other’s mouth... They broke apart long enjoyable minutes later, somewhat breathless, faces flushed and hair dishevelled and rested foreheads together enjoying the closeness and the stolen moment...

Jack tipped Ianto’s chin up and brushed their lips together lightly before pulling back to gaze into the young man’s eyes and immersing himself in the warmth of the love that sparkled in those deep blue pools. He tried to remember a time when his first and last thoughts each day had been about something other than this wonderful man in his arms...and failed... Ianto gave him meaning...gave him respite from the heavy burden of responsibility...Ianto loved him despite the decisions he had to make...knew that what they did could mean pain and loss in order to protect humanity...

He saw again the empty shell he’d become before, when the barriers he’d put up left him so alone...I have been wrong about you – I thought I was strong without you... He’d been so intent on waiting for the Doctor...for so long nothing could move me...and so embroiled in the bitterness and anger at being left behind by the one man who could give him the answers he so desperately craved that he’d become a machine without a heart...a man without a soul...for so long nothing could change me...

His eyes filled with tears as he caressed the Welshman’s cheek, closing the gap to capture his lips tenderly...reverently as he poured his love into the kiss...the love he needed to voice...now I feel myself surrender...each time I see your face... His arms tightened around the young man as they kissed hungrily, delicious tendrils of want creeping through them as blood supplies fled southwards.

They came up for air, panting softly. “Why don’t you go and wait for me downstairs while I send the others home – we’ve all done enough for one day...” Jack’s breath, hot on his neck, made Ianto shiver with desire and he slid off his Captain’s lap to move across to the ladder leading down to Jack’s bunker. He paused on the second rung, gazing at the older man with lust blown eyes and Jack was rendered speechless once more as he absorbed just how perfect the young man was...I am captured by your beauty...your unassuming grace...

“I won’t be long...” he managed to gasp, before pushing out of his chair to give his team their marching orders for the day. Glancing back as Ianto’s head disappeared from sight, he couldn’t stop the contented smile that lit up his face – after so long alone this felt so right...and I feel my heart is turning...falling into place...

Leaning over the railings he gave them the good news, watching as Gwen and Owen practically ran in their eagerness to escape before he changed his mind! Tosh was slower to leave, setting her computer to complete running her programme overnight. Eventually she gave him a quiet smile and wished him good night. Jack heaved a sigh of relief when the roller door clunked solidly behind her. Alone...finally...

Returning to his office he stood silently by the open hole in the floor...Ianto was just a few feet away... Jack realised he was trembling...this was it...he was going to tell him...I can’t hide it, now hear my confession...

He slid down the ladder to find Ianto laying on his tiny bunk, still fully clothed apart from his jacket and shoes, his hands linked behind his head. Pausing by the ladder as he fought to control the butterflies in his stomach, Jack was overcome by the rush of love as Ianto turned to smile at him...you are the air that I breathe...I can’t live without him – this city, this life...is nothing without him...you’re the ground beneath my feet... How could he have missed this for so long? When did I stop believing?

“Jack..?” Ianto sat up and swung his legs to the floor, concern evident on his face “What’s wrong?”

Taking a deep breath in, Jack moved across to his bed and sank to his knees to edge into the gap between Ianto’s legs, one hand sliding around the young man’s waist, the other cupped his face. “Nothing’s wrong...I’m just thinking how beautiful you are...” he whispered as he captured those soft and sensual lips in a tender kiss and the butterflies went into full spin mode, rising high into the sky to  dance amongst the stars...

Ianto’s arms snaked around his Captain’s neck as he sank into the embrace and opened his mouth to allow Jack’s tongue to explore... He wondered, fleetingly, what it was about Jack’s kisses that had him floating three feet off the floor as he lost himself in the sensation of everything that was Jack...

They parted, softly, sharing warm breath with lips just millimetres apart, heartbeats racing as the air around them tingled with the heady scent of desire and the promise of what was to come. Jack’s hands moved to loosen the perfect knot of red silk at his Welshman’s throat, tugging it from his collar and dropping it to the floor before his trembling fingers fumbled with the top buttons of his shirt...’cause I feel myself surrender...

Ianto closed his eyes and arched his neck, a low moan escaping as Jack’s lips pressed feather-light kisses to his skin as his throat was exposed, “Jack...” he protested hoarsely as the older man pulled back to gaze at him...each time I see your face...

Capturing his lips once more, Jack’s hands returned to the buttons on his Welshman’s shirt and worked his way down until he was tugging the fabric out of his waistband. He pulled back from his mouth, lips now deliciously pink and kiss swollen, so he could remove Ianto’s coffee bean cufflinks, placing them carefully on the bedside table, before sliding the shirt from the young man’s shoulders and dropping it to the floor alongside his tie.

His breath hitched as he ran his hands over Ianto’s shoulders and down his chest, spreading his fingers as they trailed down through the soft downy hair, pausing to tease his nipples until they hardened under his touch...I am staggered by your beauty... Ianto’s head was thrust back, his eyes closed and his breath a series of tiny pants between gently parted lips...your unassuming grace...

Jack’s mouth followed the trail of his hands, soft kisses covering every inch of pale skin, tongue and teeth teasing those jutting nubs of flesh until the Welshman was mewling and squirming... One hand on his chest, Jack pushed Ianto back so he was laying on the bunk, the young man’s eyes fluttering open as passion and desire reflected in twin pools of blue...and I feel my heart falling into place...

Hands now attacked buckle, belt and zip, tugging trousers and underwear down as one, adding them to the pile on the floor. Finally socks were dropped on top of the heap to leave Jack’s eyes sweeping his lover’s naked body with very obvious appreciation...I can’t hide it...now hear my confession...

Ianto whimpered...”Jack...please...” arching his body off the bedclothes, a low moan of pleasure replacing his needy plea as he was engulfed in the moist warmth of his Captain’s mouth... Jack reached one hand up to link with his lover’s whilst the other trailed backwards to tease the entrance to his body, feeling the tender flesh quiver beneath his touch, as teeth and tongue sent Ianto’s senses spiralling...

“Jack...stop...I want you...wanna feel you...” Ianto gasped breathlessly, squeezing their joined hands tightly...

Releasing him, Jack quickly shed his own clothes, scattering them wildly, and returned to the bed to crush their mouths together, tongues dancing a passionate rumba as they writhed together in the tiny bunk. Jack reached for the lube and expertly flipped it open one handed, coating his fingers before sliding first one, then a second into Ianto’s willing body, the young man moaning when fingertips brushed that magic spot and a wave of pleasure washed over him, pushing him ever closer to the edge...

“Now Jack...need you now...” he pleaded against his Captain’s lips, sighing with satisfaction as fingers were removed and Jack pushed in slowly, relishing the hot tight feeling of Ianto’s body around him. Moving slowly, eyes locked together, Jack made love to him...tenderly...bodies trembling as if it was that first time all over again, until they exploded together in blissful release and floated on wave after wave of exquisite pleasure...

Brushing a lock of hair off his Welshman’s sweat soaked brow, Jack gazed into his eyes, drowning himself in the intensity of emotion blazing from those beautiful blue depths...I can’t hide it...

He smiled, his fingers tracing the outline of Ianto’s lips...now hear my confession...

I love you, Ianto Jones...” he kissed him softly, “always you...only you”...now hear my confession...”I love you...”

End

 

 


zazajb: (coming home)

Title: These things I miss
Author: zazajb
Rating: R, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Gwen
Spoilers : set start s2/KKBB
Summary: their thoughts when apart while Jack’s with the Doctor... Words 1400

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time; I also don’t own the song or Matt Nathanson...
A/N Inspired by the song ‘Come on get higher’ sung by Matt Nathanson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHx4BlF6V2o

This is for [livejournal.com profile] aviv_b  and [livejournal.com profile] chocolatenianto who both have birthdays this week - happy days ladies *birthday hugs*

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & tw_proper, tw_classic, jantosparkle [apologies to those getting this multiple times]

 

These things I miss

Ianto rubbed a weary hand over his eyes as he turned off the computer screen. Slumping back in Jack’s chair, his fingers trailed absently over the lines of the desk as he gazed into the distance. It was too quiet – the muted hum of the hub at night was a stark reminder of just how lonely this place could be. In his head he filled the vast empty space with Jack’s larger-than-life presence...I miss the sound of your voice...his infectious laugh, head thrown back, his eyes dancing with affection as he teased Owen...his crisp instructions as they planned how to take down an attacking Vilkien’thsn war party without causing a city-wide panic, those blue grey eyes crinkled in thought as he worked through the strategy...the low growl as he breathed in Ianto’s ear, telling him exactly what he was going to do as he undressed him slowly...

Another flood of memories washed over him, accompanied with a rush of hot desire that gathered uncomfortably in his trousers...there would be no mutually satisfying release of that tonight...and I miss the rush of your skin...too many endless nights alone in Jack’s bunk – how could such a tiny space seem so cold and empty...and I miss the still of the silence, as you breathe out and I breathe in... He closed his eyes and traced the outline of his lips with his finger, the images of Jack in his head as the finger trailed over his chin and down his neck, the lightest of touches... He let out a low moan...Jack... Nights spent wrapped around each other, exploring their newfound intimacy, discovering pleasures enhanced by the gradual lowering of barriers on both sides...admit it Jones...you love him...

Sighing heavily, he opened his eyes and sat up. He needed a miracle...if I could walk on water...a miracle that would bring Jack back to him...and maybe a crystal ball would be helpful...if I could tell you what’s next... Would he have done things differently – if he’d known what was coming? He pondered for all of a nano-second...no...he wouldn’t have missed the time he’d had with Jack for anything... Jack had rebuilt him...after Lisa...after the cannibals...”it’s going to be alright, Ianto...” make you believe...make you forget...

Jack was right, he’d made it better...with a tenderness that Ianto hadn’t known was there as he’d kissed his tears away and soothed his nightmares...teased away his melancholy...so come, get higher, loosen my lips... A smile curved the corners of the Welshman’s mouth as he pictured Jack dancing for him in this very office, gyrating as he stripped slowly...faith and desire in the swing of your hips... The smile broke into a grin as he recalled the rest of that night...just pull me down hard and drown me in love...

That smile stayed on his lips as he cuddled into Jack’s bunk and wrapped his arms around the pillow that still smelled faintly of the man he loved...the man he missed so very much...

 Jack took the first agonising gasp of air as he was dragged back to life. Sagging in his shackles he breathed one word...Ianto... Images of his perfect Welshman crowded his brain, the one thing that kept him fighting...Ianto bringing him coffee, that spark as their hands brushed when the mug changed ownership...those pristine pinstripes and the way they hugged his arse as he bent over some artefact in the archives...those wonderful Welsh vowels that caressed his ears as they discussed the events of the day...I miss the sound of your voice, the loudest thing in my head... God he missed him so much...

He closed his eyes as the images intensified...Ianto as he came undone as Jack kissed his way down his body, writhing from the touch of his lips and hands on his heated skin, low moans of pleasure wrapped around a stream of incoherent Welsh as they edged ever nearer to the bliss of release...and I ache to remember all the violent, sweet, perfect words that you said...

He blinked away the tears as he recalled that blazing look in the young man’s eyes...that look that said how he felt...how they both felt even if the words were never spoken... Sighing heavily he shifted uncomfortably in his chains. He needed a miracle...if I could walk on water...a miracle to get back to his Welshman...the man that he...the man that he...loved...he knew that now and he wished he’d told him before he ran away – the wonders of hind sight...if I could tell you what’s next... When he got home...and he would make it home, he’d stop at nothing to put things right...Ianto...make you believe, make you forget...

A smile formed on his lips as memories raced across his brain, Ianto’s brief, but nonetheless impressive, spell as a magic tea dragon under the influence of alien LSD...so come on, get higher, loosen my lips...watching him dance with abandon, several beers too many after celebrating the Welsh rugby team’s victory over their old English rivals...faith and desire in the swing of your hips... The smile morphed into a grin as he recalled how that night had ended – their lovemaking had been wild and passionate, slowing to sensual and tender as night became a new day...just pull me down hard and drown me in love...

I came back for you...the words hung heavy in the air as they looked at each other, suspicion and hurt battling want and need...and then the moment was gone...

The day descended into chaos in usual Torchwood style with the added distraction of Captain John Hart...note the sarcasm...and Ianto was reminded just how little he knew about the man who owned his heart so completely...

Eventually the cluster bombs, pistol whipping, paralysing lip gloss, Owen getting shot, Jack getting dead, Hart not getting dead...these minor issues were dealt with and Hart was dispatched back through the rift and the team now had to avoid themselves for twenty four hours which was why they were all waiting for room keys at the reception of the St David’s Hotel and Spa... Ianto met Jack’s hesitant gaze and nodded briefly as he requested three singles and a double...

The elevator ride up to the third floor was silent and they headed for their rooms in sombre mood, Jack and Ianto turning left down the corridor, the team turning right... Jack stopped outside 313 and opened the door with the key card before standing back to allow the Welshman to go in first. Ianto headed for the window and gazed out over the bay. Long minutes passed in silence until he turned to see Jack still stood uncertainly by the door with tears streaming down his cheeks and he realised that his own tears were falling thick and fast...I miss the pull of your heart...

Ianto stepped forward and opened his arms, crushing their mouths together as Jack flung himself into the embrace and they kissed hungrily, the passion building rapidly from long months of abstinence. They moaned against each other’s lips...I could taste the sparks on your tongue...hands grabbing at clothing as they sought desperately to touch the warm flesh below, buttons were attacked, shirts were tugged off and flung away, buckles and zips were navigated until they were naked and they fell across the bed.

Hot kisses and gentle touch alternated with heady passion and feral want as they moved closer to the ecstasy of their climax...I see angels and devils and God when you come...on...hold on...hold on...

“Jack...”

“Ianto...”

...hold on, hold on...

They slumped together in a tangle of limbs, sweaty and sated, hearts pounding wildly in their chests as the serenity of the afterglow radiated through them... Jack traced the outline of Ianto’s lips before kissing him tenderly as he entwined their fingers. “Ianto, I...”

“Sshh...I know...” the Welshman pressed their lips together lightly. “Why don’t you show me again...” so come on get higher...”show me what I’ve missed...” ’cause everything works love, everything works in your arms...

End  

 


zazajb: (don't forget me-never could)

Title: Bring him home
Author: zazajb
Rating: R, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Gwen
Spoilers : TW CoE, specifically Day 4
Summary: Jack revives on the floor of Thames House... Words 750

Warnings: serious angst, CoE character death

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time; I also don’t own the song or RyanDan...
A/N Inspired by the beautiful voices of RyanDan and dedicated to [livejournal.com profile] iantosdreamer46  who’s had a tough week. My thoughts also go out to all those caught up in the earthquake and tsunami... Best effects are reading with song in the background... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVQclOwFHX0

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & tw_proper [apologies to those getting this multiple times]

 

 

Bring him home

Jack took that first agonising gasp of air as he was flung away from the darkness once again, his hands reaching convulsively for the warm embrace of his beloved Welshman...and then he remembered... The realisation hit him like a hammer blow, driving the breath from his freshly filled lungs and his eyes filled with tears...Ianto...my Ianto...

He knew, without turning his head, that Gwen was sat beside the body of the man he loved...the man he’d let down time and time again but who’d always forgiven him for his failings...who’d welcomed him back into his arms with unwavering loyalty and unconditional love...Ianto...

He sat up slowly, staring ahead as his brain resisted the inevitable...Ianto was dead...killed by the deadly virus...Jack’s heart shattered into a million tiny pieces and his body shook as he moved to sit next to Gwen. She leant against him as he put his arm around her and felt her trembling as tears coursed down her face. He watched as she reached across to minutely adjust the perfect knot of Ianto’s tie...

His vision swam as he looked at the still form...he could just be sleeping...his frantic brain searched for alternatives to the bitter reality... Images flew through his head...Ianto laughing by the railings outside the Tourist Information as they licked ice cream from each other’s fingers on a warm July day, wrapped around him as their bodies stilled after making love in a cornfield – the fragrant summer night air caressing their skin as they kissed sweetly...the world faded away - it was just them, right here, right now...the summers die one by one...

His breath hitched as the memories washed over him...how soon they fly on and on...weevil hunting late at night, sharing that first coffee of the day...the two of them alone in the hub...tender touch and gentle words, the way his mouth curved at the corners with that tiny knowing smile as he leant across his Captain to place his mug on the desk, the feel of those soft and sensual lips as they moved so perfectly against his own, the reassuring warmth as he revived after yet another brutal death, the sparkle in those cobalt blue eyes as they met across the hub, the bliss of stolen moments – a kiss, a touch...during the madness that was their life...so many memories but they were never going to be enough – I wanted more time with him...we’d barely begun to live...to love...

Tears spilled unchecked down his cheeks, he had endless life...was so old...this was so wrong...and I am old and will be gone... I can’t lose him...his silent cry to every God he’d ever known...a plea that echoed through the cavernous makeshift morgue where the bodies lay silent and alone...you can take...and you can give... This man deserves to live...he’s given so much of himself – to me...to this earth...let him be...let him live...

I have so much time – yet it means nothing without him...he is my life now...everything that I fight for, the endless day that is my curse...he taught me how to see it as a gift...he gave me meaning...without him...I am nothing...take me...if I die – then let me die...save him...let him live... Ianto Jones belongs with the living...here...he is everything...bring him home...

I never told him...” the sob wrenched from him before he could stop it...”at the end...I never told him...” he reached to take Ianto’s chill hand in his own, his fingers curling around the unresponsive flesh as his tears flowed...

Gwen took a tiny breath in and turned her head, “he knew...” she whispered, as she kissed his damp cheek, “he always knew...”

She stood carefully and watched as Jack shuffled closer to his beloved Welshman, his other hand now tracing the contours of that beautiful face... As she walked away she heard the anguished I love you...I always loved you...and she knew that nothing would ever be the same again...sometimes the price they paid was just too high...bring him home...

End

 

 

 


zazajb: (coe jack tears)

Title: I never told you...
Author: zazajb
Rating: NC-17, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto,
Spoilers – All series 1-3
Summary: A companion piece to No place to hide [CoE fixit, sequel to All the time we have]. Jack is haunted by his memories... Warnings character death, serious angstt  Words 800
x-posted jackxianto, jantolution, tw_proper 

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time

A/N For [livejournal.com profile] jedi_harkness  who wanted a Jack-centric fic using this hauntingly beautiful song by Colbie Caillat http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij9NtI3xh8Y  we would like to say thank you to [livejournal.com profile] pinkpolyanthus  for making the vid to go with it   [lots of tissues required]. Link is here  http://www.sendspace.com/file/xco4gm Love you  xxx

 

I never told you...                                                                         

Another day...another planet...another rooftop...

Same emptiness...same all- consuming grief...

The crystalline lake on the horizon glistened in the light of the setting twin suns as he gazed out from his lofty perch. It should’ve been breathtaking but he couldn’t appreciate its beauty or that of the thousands of tiny rainbows who danced where land met sky...

His thoughts were haunted by his face...that beautiful face that he’d never forget... He choked back a sob as he remembered...I miss those blue eyes how they’d gazed into his own, love blazing from those cobalt depths when they lay in Jack’s tiny bunk, limbs entwined...how you kiss me at night...pressed close together, sated and blissfully drowsy...I miss the way we sleep... Now his bed was so cold...

Morning came and he was still standing, numb with cold and equally unmoved by the suns rising...like there’s no sunrise... His heart ached with longing as he remembered Ianto’s smile...the way that it curved the corners of his mouth, remembered kissing those soft and sensual lips as they smiled into each other’s eyes...like the taste of your smile...the way their bodies trembled as they moved together, edging closer to the exquisite ecstasy of release, lips just millimetres apart so every breath was shared as they moved as one...I miss the way we breathe...

He hung his head as he pictured those last moments, Ianto’s breathless “I love you” knowing that his life was slipping away... Tears fell unchecked down Jack’s face as he heard his pitiful response...he did love him...had loved him for a very long time...but I never told you, what I should have said...when it came to the crunch he’d bottled it...no, I never told you...I just held it in... Saying those three words would have been admitting that this was goodbye...the end...and he couldn’t...don’t...please don’t leave me Ianto...

His shoulders hunched as the images flooded his head...perfection in blue pinstripe bringing him coffee, the dancing light in his beautiful eyes as their hands brushed as the mug changed ownership, Ianto leant against his desk as they discussed whatever report he had open on his desk – his way of keeping the Welshman close to him for a little longer...both knowing it...both loving the game...and now, I miss everything about you...

The memories darkened...Lisa throwing Ianto across the hub to land in a crumpled heap...the ultimate betrayal by the young man he’d come to regard so highly...can’t believe that I still want you...and after all the things we’ve been through...and yet there was still something about him...after the Brecon Beacons...then the faeries...I miss everything about you... I don’t want to live...without you...

He recalled those heady nights, wrapped in Ianto’s arms, when he could relinquish the mantle of control...when his gorgeous Welshman took him to paradise one kiss at a time, eyes fixed on his Captain’s blue grey depths...I see your blue eyes, every time I close mine... Every breath shared, every touch of heated skin and he knew that being here, safe in the circle of Ianto’s love, that he was just a man...now a man without a home...you make it hard to see, where I belong to... Without Ianto he was a broken man, without purpose...without love...when I’m not around you – it’s like I’m not with me...

The ferocity of his sobs shook his body...but I never told you, what I should have said...he saw himself clutching Ianto’s lifeless body closer, leaning over to press their lips together as his own life force drained away, regret and loss...endless love burning in his heart – love that Ianto would never hear him speak...no I never told you, I just held it in... He fell to his knees as the images in his head took him to the floor of Thames House...as he revived...and now I miss everything about you...I can’t go on...without you...

In his head he saw Ianto’s tiny smile, that just-for-my-Captain-when-we’re-alone smile, those beautiful blue eyes blazing with emotion...and he whispered through his tears ” I love you...”

Standing, he gazed out at the sunrise... “It’s beautiful, Ianto...beautiful...”

End     

 
sendspace link http://www.sendspace.com/file/xco4gm

zazajb: (safe in your arms)

Title: Can’t fight this feeling any more...
Author: zazajb
Rating: PG-13, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, mentions of team
Spoilers : Set in Something Borrowed, minor mentions of previous episodes
Summary: Jack and Ianto reflect on how they feel about their relationship... Words 2050

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time
A/N Inspired by the gorgeous song of the same name, sung here by REO Speedwagon 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h87uRvRbgU8

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & TW_classic , tw_proper, jantosparkle, theijs [apologies to those getting this multiple times]

A/N 1 For [livejournal.com profile] iantosdreamer46  hold on to those dreams... *hugs close*  and [livejournal.com profile] debmommy22 welcome :D
 

I can’t fight this feeling any more...

Ianto stood at the edge of the dance floor, his eyes fixed on the gently swaying couple. They fitted together perfectly as they gazed at each other...he bent his head forward towards her, she spoke, softly no doubt, as he moved closer to hear her and the grip on her hand tightened as he smiled tenderly at her...

Ianto fought back the wave of jealousy that threatened to overwhelm him, biting down so hard on his bottom lip that he tasted the coppery tang of blood. Admit it, he told himself...you love him... That bit was easy – of course he loved Jack...had loved him for a very long time...it was actually saying those three little words and letting the rest of the world see it that scared the shit out of him...

His mind drifted back to the previous evening...after a quiet drink with Rhys he’d returned to the hub...to Jack and Jack’s bed where they’d kissed and writhed their way into the early hours, finally falling asleep sated and wrapped in each other’s arms. A tiny smile curved the corners of his mouth at the memory, fading as he cursed himself for not being able to show how he felt... I can’t fight this feeling any longer, and yet I’m still afraid to let it flow...

He couldn’t imagine a life without Jack...Jack had saved him – saved him from himself after Lisa...he’d believed in him, been there...a gentle touch when the demons of the night had left him screaming, a friendly face around the hub when the team had regarded him as a leper for his betrayal and gradually he’d lost himself to everything that was Jack...what started out as friendship has grown stronger...

He’d had a chance earlier to show Owen what he and Jack were to each other...he grimaced at the recollection of how quickly he’d changed the subject as the medic had interrupted their slightly off topic conversation over his excellent choice of Gwen’s replacement wedding dress...I only wish I had the strength to let it show...

In the quiet of the night, when he was wrapped in Jack’s arms he could admit that he wanted more – he wanted to scream it from the rooftops...stroll through the city centre his hand firmly clasped in his dashing Captain’s for all the world to see...so many times he’d almost blurted it out to Rhi when she’d badgered him for the name of the girl who’d put the sparkle back into his eyes...I tell myself that I can’t hold out forever...

What was it that kept him from publicly claiming his man? Honestly? It wasn’t confusion – not any more, he’d long since accepted that it wasn’t men, it was Jack...only Jack...I say there is no reason for my fear, ‘cause I feel so secure when we’re together...

He knew he’d follow Jack to the end of the universe if he could...Jack had given his life purpose again...a reason for living like he’d never known before...you give my life direction, you make everything so clear... Visions of chasing weevils across the Wetlands Reserve, cornering a Hoix in the bus station and shivering knee-deep in a slime filled pool at midnight as they attempted to capture a basilisk-type creature from the Caelum system...and even as I wander, I’m keeping you in sight...

In their world of madness, of aliens, the rift and everything they saw, Jack was his anchor- the one he came home to...you’re a candle in the window on a cold dark winter’s night... He pondered briefly on when he’d actually fallen for his Captain, mentally shrugging when he realised that it was an impossible question...the attraction had been evident from the very beginning - even when it had all been for Lisa - when they’d rolled around on the floor of that grubby warehouse as an unconscious Myfanwy crashed beside them...and then there was the coat...he loved that coat...and I’m getting closer than I ever thought I might...

He came back to his immediate surroundings as he realised his feet had moved and he was heading towards the two dancers...and I can’t fight this feeling any more – I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for... He stopped beside them and coughed deliberately, a newfound confidence bubbling up from the soles of his highly polished shoes, sweeping through him as he turned towards the man he loved with every fibre of his being...it’s time to bring this ship into the shore and throw away the oars forever...

The look on Gwen’s face was priceless as he slipped into Jack’s arms in her place...’cause I can’t fight this feeling any more – I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for... It was time he showed the world what the team knew already – that he’d die for his Captain and nothing would keep him from his side...and if I have to crawl upon the floor...the memory of dragging himself across the damp earth after a bloody battle with two weevils which he’d had to shoot after they’d knocked him down and killed Jack, so he could be there when his Captain revived, cradling his lifeless body in his arms until that moment when he was thrown brutally away from the blackness...come crashing through your door...

His eyes met Jack’s, surprise registering in the blue grey depths and he tried to convey the tumultuous thought processes that had finally pushed him to risk his all...baby, I can’t fight this feeling any more... He’d felt a momentary flicker of fear as Gwen moved away to rejoin her husband and he was left...exposed...what if..? Then Jack had tugged him closer and he’d breathed in that intoxicating aroma that was just Jack and everyone else had faded away...it was just him...and Jack and those impossible daydreams that this could ever possibly work...

But he was dancing with him now...and that’s all that mattered...

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

He was dancing with Gwen, gazing at her fondly, his lovely Gwen happily married after a complete nightmare day – a typical Torchwood-does-weddings kind of day with razor-toothed aliens, terror and big guns...but that was the beauty of these people...they didn’t give up...and Gwen had shone like a radiant star as she’d battled through adversity, refusing to let anything stop her from marrying the man she loved...and he adored her for that...

“Will you miss me while I’m gone?”

“...always...” I need you Gwen Williams, you keep me grounded, in this time, in this place

“What will you do?”

“The usual: pizza, Ianto, save the world a couple of times...” His mind filled with images...Ianto laughing as I feed him pizza, Ianto wrapped in my arms as I kiss him hard, Ianto beside me anywhere I go...and a warmth spread through him at the thoughts of his gorgeous Welshman, his heart missing a beat as he looked up to see the young man stood in front of him, waiting to cut in...to dance with the bride...

Delighted surprise rippled through him as Ianto moved into the space vacated when Gwen had turned towards her new dance partner, only to find herself reaching towards empty air... Glancing at them with a broad grin she glided across the floor to rejoin her husband, the assembled group smiling fondly at the two men...

Jack’s eyes met Ianto’s clear blue depths, seeing the hidden insecurities lurking beneath the bold determination to show the love he felt for his Captain...Jack’s stomach flipped several times as he realised with a start that it was love...he loved this man... His mind ran at nine hundred miles an hour as he tugged the young man closer, feeling him melt into the embrace, and they swayed softly in time with the music. The room and everyone else faded into the distance – it was just him and his gorgeous, beautiful, wonderful Welshman...

My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you...he hitched his breath as he recalled meeting Ianto in the woods – his bravery as he helped him fight off a blood-crazed weevil in those figure-hugging jeans...followed by their meeting outside the Tourist Information – that coffee had blown his mind, but he’d resisted...for now... After their encounter in that grubby warehouse as they’d rolled around the floor with an unconscious pteranodon crashed beside them, he’d known there was something special about this young man – besides the undoubted sex appeal and the way he looked in a suit...I’ve been running around in circles in my mind...

Even after Lisa, when the depth of his betrayal had been evident, there was still something about him...something that he couldn’t explain to himself, let alone to the others, that kept him from administering a stiff dose of retcon and dumping him miles from Cardiff...this one was worth a second chance...and it always seems that I’m following you... Ianto had proceeded to show him unwavering loyalty and hidden depths as they’d tentatively explored the beginnings of their relationship, quietly dismantling all of Jack’s barriers that had kept his heart firmly locked away...’cause you take me to the places that alone I’d never find...

Ianto became his anchor...no matter where the storm threw him, no matter how fierce the battles, Ianto protected him with his unwavering love and support...with Ianto he could be himself...just Jack...and in his arms he found complete acceptance and a peace he hadn’t known existed...and even as I wander, I’m keeping you in sight - you’re a candle in the window on a cold dark winter’s night... Little by little he fell in love...and I’m getting closer than I ever thought I might...

How come he never realised before this moment? Looking back it all seemed so obvious... He tightened his hold on the warm body in his arms and inhaled the unique scent that was just Ianto...and I can’t fight this feeling any more...all of his fears seemed to melt away when he had Ianto in his arms...I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for...

He knew one day he’d have to let him go, knew his heart would break into a million pieces...too soon...he wanted to keep him by his side forever...but he needed to make the most of every second until then...it’s time to bring this ship into the shore and throw away the oars forever...

His lips brushed the side of Ianto’s neck as he lost himself in the warmth of their embrace, fingers curling around the younger man’s...’cause I can’t fight this feeling any more – I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for... Another wave of memories crashed through his brain...realising how close he’d come to losing him...and if I have to crawl upon the floor...scrabbling over to Ianto’s crumpled body where he’d landed after Lisa had flung him across the hub, kissing him back to life – the relief when those soft and sensual lips had begun to kiss him back... Then there was that time during his suspension when Ianto had refused to answer his phone...he’d been so fragile, so emotionally vulnerable and Jack had feared the worst, jumping into the SUV to check...come crashing through your door...to find a bemused, very wet - very naked - Welshman in the shower wondering why his front door was hanging off its hinges...

Jack smiled into Ianto’s hair, baby I can’t fight this feeling any more... He pulled back just enough to gaze into his eyes, whispering those words he’d put off saying for so long before capturing his lips in a searing kiss... Resisting for a split second, the Welshman melted into Jack’s embrace, relishing the warmth of his lips against his own, his soft moan lost as their tongues danced sensuously and he wrapped his arms tighter around the man he adored, pulling him closer...

Breaking apart, long, sweet minutes later, Ianto smiled tenderly as he threaded his hand gently through Jack’s hair, “...love you too...” before surrendering once more to the pleasures of Jack’s mouth as he was kissed into oblivion...’cause I can’t fight this feeling any more...

End

 


zazajb: (kiss mine jack ianto)

Title: Unexpected Song
Author: zazajb
Rating: PG-13, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto
Spoilers : TTLM s2
Summary: Jack realises what Ianto means to him... Words 1100

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time
A/N Inspired by the beautiful song of the same name sung here by Michael Ball [loads of versions to choose from but I wanted a male voice...]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxXmpNM7FNk&feature=fvst

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & TW_classic , tw_proper [apologies to those getting this multiple times]

A/N1 This crashed into my head when I was writing this week’s challenge and my romantic bunnies demanded that it was pinned to the keyboard...

For [livejournal.com profile] crimsonkildare  - Happy Birthday sweetheart xxx

 

Unexpected song

It had been a very long and trying day. Tosh had taken Tommy home...it was obvious what would be happening there...they’d formed a close bond and it was inevitable that Tosh would have her heart broken by the brave young soldier so far out of his own time...

Jack sat at his desk, absently shuffling through Tommy’s file, thinking of all the things that could go wrong, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders...sometimes it could be so lonely, so difficult to make the tough decisions knowing that it would cause someone else pain and suffering...

His heartbeat quickened at the familiar and reassuring sound of quiet measured steps as they approached up the stairs...

”...this time tomorrow he’ll be back in 1918...” Jack sighed imperceptibly as Ianto entered the room.

“...in his own time...would you go back to yours...if you could..?”

The question took him by surprise and flustered, wrong-footed, his response came out all wrong...sounding flippant...uncaring... ”...why – would you miss me?” With a jolt like a bolt of lightening, Jack suddenly realised that uncaring was the total opposite of how he felt...he did care...very much... The realisation sent shivers of fear down his spine as he grappled with the word...the L word...he didn’t do that...not any more...not for so very long now... He hitched his breath as he found the barriers that had kept his heart safely locked away had gone...melted away by the gentle touch of this gorgeous Welshman...

As his brain raced at nine hundred miles an hour and his stomach was invaded by clouds of light winged fluttering creatures, Jack dragged himself back to the present,  Ianto’s simple and emphatic “Yep!” and tiny smile sending a warmth coursing through his body and the fluttering creatures into aerial acrobatics... I have never felt like this...for once I’m lost for words...your smile has really thrown me...

He chose carefully...hopefully... “I left home a long time ago...don’t know where I really belong...maybe that doesn’t matter anymore..?” this is not like me at all... His heart pounded wildly in his chest as Ianto perched on the edge of his desk, looking down at him...thoughtfully, considering...

“I...er...don’t you get lonely..?” 

Jack’s synapses went into simultaneous meltdown and explosions of fireworks...no...not any more...now I have you... It was like he was seeing clearly for the first time – nothing was quite so daunting with his Welshman by his side...the man he...he...loved...themanheloved...

“Going home wouldn’t fix that...” It wouldn’t...he knew that now...I never thought I’d know, the kind of love you’ve shown me... “Being here, I’ve seen things I never dreamt I’d see...loved people I never would’ve known if I’d just stayed where I was...” He looked up into those crystal blue eyes that blazed with love and lost himself in their depths... Now, no matter where I am...no matter what I do... 

His head was filled with images...Ianto in the Tourist Office, his face alight as he enthused about their city...outside in the sunshine, leaning on the railings as they gazed out over the bay...his rapturous expression as he inhaled the aroma of that first coffee of the day - that special time with just the two of them alone in the hub before anyone else arrived...I see your face appearing...like an unexpected song...

The images rocketed through his head thick and fast... Ianto’s hands trailing down Jack’s body, that look as their eyes met – soft. warm and full of unconditional love, ...an unexpected song...that only we are hearing...those immaculate suits, the way he came undone as Jack kissed his way down his body and how he could reduce Jack to a quivering jelly with a look, a touch or a word...

I don’t know what’s going on – can’t work it out at all... how Ianto’s the first thing he thinks of in the morning and the last thing when he closes his eyes at night, wrapped around that warm and fragrant body, whatever made you choose me..? Jack’s heart missed a beat and his body trembled as he attempted to convey his emotions without words...I just can’t believe my eyes...you look at me as though you couldn’t bear to lose me...

It was the realisation that the sun was brighter when Ianto was there and the world had a vibrancy that was diminished when he wasn’t and the air was somehow thinner...  Now, no matter where I am...no matter what I do... Ianto in those jeans that first meeting in the woods over the inert body of a weevil, Ianto on top of him in that warehouse, I see your face appearing...

Ianto bringing him coffee, their fingers brushing as the mug changed ownership, Ianto’s face as he smiled that beautiful little smile so the corners of his mouth turned up...that gorgeous and sensual mouth that just begged to be kissed, like an unexpected song...Ianto holding him tenderly, reassuringly, when Jack gasps back to life...the agony muted by the comforting presence of this oh so perfect young Welshman, Ianto pressed up against him as he’s kissed into oblivion, Ianto’s limbs entangled with his own as their breathing slows...the afterglow radiating through them...satisfying...warm...I don’t ever want to be without him...an unexpected song...that only we are hearing...

Jack took a breath... “...and I wouldn’t change that for the world...” like an unexpected song...
His heart beat erratically and his senses swam as Ianto crushed their mouths together and tenderly stroked his neck... Jack’s hands moved to caress the young man’s shoulder, then his face, as he returned the kiss, desperately, pouring the love and passion he couldn’t voice into the embrace...an unexpected song...

They broke apart, panting hard... Neither spoke as Jack took Ianto’s hand and led him down to his cubbyhole where he undressed him slowly, caressing his body softly, lovingly, feather-light touches of silken skin leaving them quivering from heightened senses...every kiss laden with the weight of the words neither could get out... They made love tenderly, trembling hands exploring as if it was that first time all over again...both aware that the rules had changed...the game had moved on and they were powerless to stop it...that only we are hearing...


End

 


zazajb: (coming home)

Title: Welcome home...
Author: zazajb
Rating: NC-17, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, team
Spoilers : TW KKBB
Summary: Jack’s back and Ianto’s determined to welcome him home. Words 2470

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time. I don’t own the Doors or the song either!

A/N For [livejournal.com profile] wanda1969 who wanted the song Touch me, sung here by the Doors http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PECk9A-07Pw
  and a strong Ianto. Hope you like it *hugs* xxx

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & TW_classic , tw_proper, jantosparkle [apologies to those getting this multiple times]

 

Welcome home...

“I came back for you...” he met Ianto’s gaze, the minute flicker of something giving him the tiniest glimpse of hope... The Welshman quickly quashed the look, suspicion replacing the warmth in his eyes... Jack swallowed, “...all of you...” he added hastily...

Before they had time to examine the where’s and why’s of Jack’s absence John Hart was upon them - with his cluster bombs, his swagger, his paralysing lip gloss and slightly smaller wrist strap that he compensated for with a much larger ego... Ianto hated him on sight...and that was before the shit hit the fan...

He found himself on the fifteenth floor of an office block with his Captain, looking for a canister full of radioactive material, Jack chattering inanely about office fetishes and photocopying his butt...

“The rift was active at these co-ordinates roughly two hundred feet above ground...that means this floor or the roof...” he cut across Jack’s falsely cheerful monologue, busying himself with checking the layout of the floor.

“How are you, Ianto?” The question took him by surprise and he rattled off a non-committal reply before he could be tempted to demand answers to all the questions that pounded in his head...

“All the better for having you back sir...” it sounded pathetic, even to his ears and he waited for Jack’s snarky comeback...

But Jack wasn’t done surprising him yet, a tentative “...can we maybe, like drop the sir now...I mean, while I was away...I was thinking...maybe we could...you know...when this is all done...”

Ianto resisted the urge to stand and stare open mouthed at this nervous and unsure version of his dynamic Captain, instead pacing in a small circle, avoiding looking in Jack’s direction as he continued,

“...dinner...movie..?”

Blinking, Ianto finally looked at Jack, “...are you...asking me on a date?” incredulous and needing to clarify this most unexpected, but welcome if he allowed himself to admit it, turn of events...

Jack took a deep breath, “interested?”

Ianto allowed himself to meet Jack’s gaze, seeing uncertainty lurking in those blue grey depths...this was new... He stuttered, thoughts whizzing at nine hundred miles an hour, before finally managing to give a garbled reply, “....um...er...well...as long as it’s not in an office...” muttering in an undertone, “...some fetishes should be kept to yourself...” as he turned away to start rummaging through the nearest ‘in’ tray...

“Look’s like we’re gonna have to go through every drawer, bin and plant pot...” Jack laughed self consciously.

Crouching down, Ianto took control – of himself and the situation, promising himself that he’d sort his head out once they’d found this bloody canister...fuck John Hart... “Ok, I’ll do this floor...” he threw a glance at Jack, “...don’t want you getting over-excited...” as the older man winced visibly, “and you take the roof...” He paused, “...you’re good on roofs...” Hurt swept across Jack’s face and Ianto immediately felt guilty for twisting the knife. He turned away, expecting a bitter retort, instead hearing Jack’s footsteps moving towards the door...

He swung round, the words leaving his lips before he had a chance to stop them, “Jack...why...why are we helping him?”

“He’s a reminder of my past – I want him gone” the raised eyebrows and frank expression leaving the Welshman in no doubt that this was the truth...and he dared to hope, just a little...

Jack pushed open the door, pausing to glance back, “By the way...was that a yes?” and there it was again, that uncertainty...a vulnerability that wasn’t there before...it was...endearing and just a little heartbreaking...

“Yes...” whispered...” and then “Yes...” with conviction, nodding, as he set about the task in hand, missing Jack’s tiny smile as he headed to the roof...

Ianto replayed the conversation in his head several times as he searched the office systematically, his search interrupted by another encounter with Hart...fuck John Hart, serial bastard...I really want to kill him...

Now, several hours, last minute rescues and explosions later, they found themselves checking into the St David’s Hotel and Spa in an attempt to avoid themselves... He ignored the surprised looks and warning frowns from his colleagues as he placed his hand over Jack’s and amended the booking to three singles and a double...his eyes fixed on Jack’s as the sparkle of tears was blinked away rapidly by his Captain...

Jack handed out room keys, “...go on up, I’ll just sort out some dinner, or room service and some clean clothes for us all...” his hand lingered as he passed the door-card to Ianto, the warmth of his skin sending minute shivers through the young Welshman.

They headed to the lift for the fifth floor, silent until the doors pinged closed behind them. “You weren’t going to do this again..!” Owen hissed in Ianto’s ear...

“This is different” Ianto insisted, turning to face his friend, “he’s different – I don’t know what happened while he was away, but he’s hurting...broken...and...”

“...you’re going to fix him I suppose!” Owen snarked, his trademark sarcasm covering the genuine worry he felt, remembering all those late nights listening as a drunken and wounded Ianto poured out his feelings when Jack had first left them. Tosh and Gwen exchanged glances but said nothing, watching both men carefully. “If his Doctor couldn’t fix him, what makes you think you can?”

“He asked me out on a date...”

Stunned silence met that revelation, the two girls smiling at the conviction in the Welshman’s voice.

“Fuck me!” Owen’s reaction was expressive and true to form.

Ianto grinned, “Thanks...but I’ll decline if you don’t mind...that’s rather what I had planned for Jack..!” He reached out to squeeze the acerbic medic’s shoulder, “I’ll be fine – I’m not the same little tea boy I was when he went away...” he smiled round at them fondly, “...you all watched me break and helped put me back together again...and I know you’re concerned, but I know what I want – and that’s Jack...”

Owen grinned and ruffled the young man’s hair, “You’ll always be the tea boy, even if you are all grown up now!” he quipped good naturedly, “...just keep the screaming down to a minimum as I’m in the next room!” he added as the lift doors pinged open on their floor.

In the corridor the girls hugged him briefly and they all went into their rooms. Ianto closed the door and glanced around the large airy space, tastefully turned out in cream and burgundy with a bureau and chair, two armchairs and a small table in an alcove by the sliding glass doors that led out onto a tiny balcony, a TV, mini bar and the usual array of wardrobes and drawers. A door led to the bathroom, with a bath, shower cubicle and twin sinks, complimentary toiletries and fluffy white towels, along with two thick white towelling robes that hung on the back of the door.  

He shrugged out of his jacket and hung it up before going back into the bathroom to turn on the shower. While it warmed he removed his clothes and folded them neatly on one of the armchairs before sliding under the hot spray. The water pounded on his skin, washing away the tensions and grime of the day as he soaped his hair and body with the lime and ginger fragranced bath products. Finally clean and refreshed he turned the shower off and stepped out, wrapping a towel around his waist and grabbing another to dry his hair.

He was stood gazing out across the bay through the glass doors, absently rubbing his damp hair when the door opened and Jack came in. He looked worn out, his eyes dull and missing the sparkle of old. His breath caught in his throat as he took in the sight of his beautiful Welshman, water droplets running down his pale skin, trickling through the light covering of soft hair on his chest, to soak into the towel around his hips...

“Ianto...” tears filled his eyes as he reached a trembling hand out tentatively towards the young man.

Ianto turned and opened his arms, smiling softly when the older man hesitated, come on, come on, now touch me baby as Jack threw himself into the embrace, wrapping his arms around his Welshman and squeezing tightly as if he never wanted to let him go...

Ianto held him, pressing light kisses to his hair, forehead, neck...any part of him that he could reach as his Captain sobbed in his arms. When Jack’s body finally stopped shaking, Ianto pulled back enough to tenderly brush the tear tracks away, gazing into the older man’s eyes, love and forgiveness blazing out of the Welshman’s crystal blue depths... He stroked his thumb over Jack’s cheek, smiling as he leant into the touch, the needy whimper dying away as the young man captured his lips to kiss him sweetly.

Breaking apart, Jack ran his fingers lovingly through Ianto’s damp hair, “I’m so sorry...” he whispered, “...sorry I left...but I came back for you...”

Ianto pressed a finger to Jack’s lips, “...I know...” Jack’s eyes widened at the understanding and wisdom in his young man’s gaze ...can’t you see I’m not afraid... His defences came crashing down as he realised that he’d lost his heart to the man in his arms, the man he’d come back for, the man who held him so tenderly...who forgave him...who loved him...now what was that promise that you made... 

He tangled one hand into Ianto’s hair while the other slid down his back to press their bodies closer as he crushed their mouths together, tongues seeking each other hungrily as they each reacquainted themselves with the taste of other. They moaned into the kiss as desire spread through them, Ianto scrabbling at his Captain’s clothes, eager to reach the warm skin below.

They broke apart, panting, and staggered to the bed, Ianto pushing the older man down firmly, their eyes locked together as he slowly removed his coat, slid down his braces and unbuttoned his shirt before pushing it off his shoulders. Tugging his t-shirt over his head, he flung it away, now I’m gonna love you...till the heavens stop the rain... capturing his lips fiercely as he kissed his Captain into oblivion, Jack’s body arching against the younger man’s as his trousers and boxers were pushed down and Ianto tossed his towel away...I’m gonna love you...till the stars fall from the sky for you and I...

Jack lost himself in blissful sensation as Ianto pressed his lips to every inch of his body, hot skin to hot skin, mewling when the young man paused, his mouth hovering over his sensitive flesh, Jack’s eyes pleading...touch me baby...

“I’m gonna take you to heaven...” he murmured as he engulfed Jack in the moist warmth of his mouth, slipping easily into the familiar pattern of tongue and teeth, Jack’s moans rising in volume as his fists tangled in the sheets and he felt the telltale signs of his release approaching...gentle waves of euphoria that started in his toes and rose inexorably through his body until he exploded, crying out Ianto’s name and floated amongst the stars...

He tugged the young man back up to kiss him, tasting himself as their tongues danced and they melted against each other. They came up for air, Jack gazing into Ianto’s eyes, giving himself completely to his beloved Welshman can’t you see that I’m not afraid... “...make love to me Ianto...please...make me forget...” what was that promise that you made...

Ianto slid his arms round Jack’s neck and pulled him closer, capturing his lips in a gentle kiss as Jack surrendered to his Welshman’s exquisite mouth and his body responded eagerly. I’m gonna love you...till the heavens stop the rain... Jack was squirming, pushing his hips against Ianto’s, the sensations as their arousal rubbed together was driving him wild with desire. As they came up for air, Ianto began trailing light kisses down the side of Jack’s face, pausing to nibble his earlobe before working his way down his Captain’s neck and throat, biting gently, sucking on the sensitive skin and moving lower to run his tongue over Jack’s nipples, teeth closing over the nubs of flesh, teasing and worrying them until Jack was moaning with pleasure.

It was exhilarating and powerful and Ianto felt charged with erotic energy and a hitherto unseen confidence. I’m gonna love you...till the stars fall from the sky for you and I... He continued his trail of kisses down Jack’s body, the older man tensing with anticipation as he worked his way lower and lower. Jack’s breathing was rapid, his face flushed with desire and he shuddered with every touch – he’d never been so aroused or so aware of Ianto’s mouth and the feel of his hands on heated skin.

Ianto smiled, feeling Jack’s body arch up to his own as he reached one hand down to work a slow rhythm designed to tantalise without giving release. He licked and sucked his way down his Captain’s responsive body, returning to kiss his lips every few minutes. Jack was shuddering with every touch, his hands balled into fists, thrusting his body up towards Ianto’s, eyes closed, lips parted as he sighed and moaned...I’m gonna love you...

Urging Jack onto his side, Ianto reached into the drawer where he’d dropped the lube and poured some into his hand before slipping a finger inside him, slowly adding a second and then a third, pressing towards that spot, Jack moaning loudly as the fingers found their target. “…now, Ianto…please…now…” Ianto turned his head to capture his Captain’s mouth in a fierce kiss as he pressed in slowly, resisting the urge to ram him senseless, instead matching his hand momentum until neither could hold back any longer and they thrust wildly until they exploded together in blissful climax.

They collapsed in a tangled heap of sweaty limbs, kissing softly as they came down from their orgasmic high. Ianto urged Jack under the covers and wrapped him back into his arms, stroking his fingers gently through the older man’s hair until his eyes closed and he drifted into exhausted sleep. Pressing a tender kiss to his forehead he whispered “...welcome home Jack...” before closing his eyes to join his Captain in peaceful slumber.

End



 


zazajb: (don't forget me-never could)

Title: Like the sun
Author: zazajb
Rating: R, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, team
Spoilers – set immediately after Captain Jack Harkness, end of S1, day 4 S3
Summary: After his return from 1941, Jack realises what Ianto means to him...retrospective reflection. Words 2300

Warning: angst, mention of character death, teeny tiny Gwen bashing with a very soft pillow, once!

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & tw_proper[apologies to those getting this multiple times]

A/N Yeah – I know – another songfic...but it bit me after I watched this episode the other day and I realised it needed a better ending and that led me to the dark side...it wasn’t supposed to be like this but it ran away...so please forgive me...

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpibMaa2WvU The words are so Janto....beautifully sung here by RyanDan

 

Like the sun

They exchanged worried looks as Jack strode into his office. Gwen moved to go after him, pausing when Tosh shook her head. “Let me...” Gwen shrugged - Tosh had been there with him... She’d go in after...

Tosh followed Jack into his office and poured two generous measures of whiskey from the decanter, handing one to her boss. “He’d have been so proud that you took his name...” she said softly, raising her glass as Jack’s eyes swam with unshed tears, “...to Captain Jack...”

Jack clinked their glasses briefly, “Captain Jack...” he repeated and swallowed his drink down in one, feeling it burning its way down his throat...

Tosh put a hand on his arm and squeezed gently, “thank you for taking care of me...” Smiling, she placed her glass back on the decanter tray and left the room. Outside she intercepted Gwen who was heading towards Jack’s office, “...not now,“ she said quietly, knowing that an interrogation was the last thing he needed, “...it’s not you he needs...” She met Gwen’s gaze, knowing that her words – chosen with deliberate care – would stoke the ever-present green Goblin that existed where Jack and Ianto were concerned... Gwen’s eyes narrowed at the determined expression on Tosh’s face, but she remained where she was as Tosh swung round to look at Ianto and nodded.

Ianto gave a tiny smile - just enough to curve the corners of his mouth - in quiet acknowledgement of Tosh’s efforts to protect Jack from Gwen’s need to have answers to everything...she’d get her answers – they’d all get the answers – but not now...

Jack was staring at his refilled glass when Ianto came in. He looked up to meet the Welshman’s gaze, his blue grey eyes glistening as he saw nothing but tenderness reflected in those crystal blue depths. Jack stifled a sob as Ianto opened his arms and his Captain fell into them, the barriers well and truly down now as he sobbed in the young man’s arms... Ianto held him tightly, rocking them gently as he threaded his fingers through Jack’s hair...

Eventually Jack’s breathing slowed and he relaxed in the warmth of the embrace. Moving carefully, Ianto steered them over to the sofa and sank down onto it, Jack curling up next to him, pressing close, their fingers entwined... “You want to tell me about it?” Ianto’s soft Welsh vowels whispered against the older man’s ear and he shivered as goose bumps trailed over his skin...

“It was war time...1941...he was...he was so...” his voice trailed off, unable to find the words...

“He was you...” Ianto supplied gently, “Captain Jack Harkness...the man whose name you took...”

“Yes...” Jack’s hoarse whisper was barely audible

”You never expected to meet him...”

“No...I knew he was going to die...and there was nothing I could do for him...” Jack’s anguish was palpable. “Ianto...”

“Sshh, it’s ok...” Ianto pressed a light kiss to his Captain’s hair.

“No...no...you don’t understand...” Jack was trembling, on the verge of tears again...

Ianto tightened his hold, “...tell me...but only if you want to...” his voice soft and reassuring as his stomach churned inside...wondering – did he really want to know? Technically it was sixty odd years ago – way in the past...but... He shoved the thought aside, Jack needed him...here...now...and that’s all that mattered...

“He was so lonely...he couldn’t show then who he really was...he worked out that he was going to die and...and...” Jack reached up and pulled Ianto’s face towards him, kissing him hungrily, desperately...begging forgiveness... Ianto’s blood ran cold, tortuous thoughts tumbling through his brain, each progressively worse than the previous one...

“and I...” Jack broke down into fresh sobs, curling his fingers tightly into his Welshman’s lapels. He took a deep breath in, “wedancedIkissedhimgoodbye...’m sorry...” his words all running into each other, barely discernible...

“Sshh...you gave him something real...he died as him...the real him...and now he lives on – a hero...as a hero...” He tipped Jack’s face up towards him and kissed him tenderly, tongues seeking comfort in their familiar dance...Ianto tasting the lingering smoky tang of the whiskey against the backdrop of everything that was Jack... He moaned softly into the kiss, his relief that Jack’s actions were limited to dancing and kissing giving way to a rising passion and a need to possess his Captain... He would’ve understood if it’d been more...if Jack had...with Jack...would’ve dealt with it...but...  

Jack kissed back; hard, feral want building in unstoppable waves... He pulled back from his Welshman’s soft and sensual lips and grazed his teeth down the side of his neck...”bed...now...” he growled, lust and need blazing out of his eyes as he met the young man’s gaze...

Ianto stood up and carefully entwined their fingers before heading towards the ladder that led to Jack’s bunker and they threw themselves down it, mouths crashing together as they tumbled on to the tiny bunk...

Tosh watched as they disappeared from sight, tears sparkling in her eyes... “Tosh...?” Gwen’s voice was shaky...she needed to know, yet...

Tosh smiled through her tears, “...let’s go and get some tea and I’ll tell you about a wonderful man we met in 1941...” They headed off towards the kitchen, “...it was wartime and it was beautiful...”

From the top of the stairs down to autopsy, Owen watched the girls head towards the kitchen. He smiled, they’d be ok...they’d all be ok...now he just had to finish dressing his wound...bloody tea boy... he thought with grudging admiration for the loyalty the young man had shown for his beliefs...his Captain...the man he loved... As he dug the final shards of shrapnel out of his shoulder, Owen felt a twinge of guilt for the hurtful things he’d said to Ianto...on the whole he deserved this bullet he concluded ruefully... He grimaced and began to dress the gaping wound. Hopefully the girls would bring him a cup of tea...

Down in Jack’s bunker, Ianto was slowly undressing his Captain, peeling each layer of fabric from his body, his eyes locked on Jack’s. As he tugged the t-shirt over his head and flung it away, he pulled him close and crushed their lips together, driving his tongue into the other man’s mouth to explore with possessive intent. Jack melted against his Welshman, moaning when Ianto tore his mouth away and latched onto Jack’s neck, nipping the soft skin fiercely to leave a trail of purple bruises...marking him as mineminemine...

Their lovemaking alternated between fierce and possessive and tender and loving, Ianto taking his Captain to the very edge of release before backing off until Jack was a quivering jelly, aware of nothing but the warmth of Ianto’s mouth and the touch of his hands on heated skin...sensation after sensation driving him to a plane of pure bliss until they finally exploded together, each crying out the other’s name...wave upon wave of pleasure that left nerve endings tingling and every cell in their bodies charged with electricity and they collapsed in each other’s arms, panting hard as they came down from their orgasmic high...

Ianto cupped Jack’s face and kissed him softly, “...you ok?”

Jack’s mumbled reply was lost against his lips as he pressed their mouths together in a deep lingering kiss that told Ianto all he needed to know...They slid under the sheets and curled up together, the stresses and worry of the past 48 hours coupled with the intensity of their climax seeing them claimed swiftly by peaceful slumber.

In the main hub, Tosh, Gwen and Owen talked quietly over their tea, discussing the seemingly all-round positive outcome to recent events...opening the rift had been the right thing to do... They packed away and went home...as unbeknown to them, the rift quietly splintered around them...

Jack stirred. His eyelids fluttered open and a gentle smile spread across his face. He snuggled closer to the sleeping man in his arms and inhaled, the scent that was Ianto filling him with a serene sense of peace that he’d not felt in a very long time... Brushing his lips lightly against the warm pale skin of Ianto’s shoulder, he wondered when this gorgeous man had come to mean so much to him... Jack Harkness had kept his emotions under lock and key for so many years...his defence against the hurt and loss when they inevitably left him alone...again...he’d promised himself he wouldn’t...couldn’t do this again...

Somehow this unassuming Welshman had found a way through all his defences, quietly dismantling all his barriers to settle himself securely in his Captain’s heart...he’d tried to resist him...he really had...I tried to hide from you...but I failed... He thought of the times he’d walked away, headed off to a rooftop to brood, knowing he’d left Ianto hurt and confused...but the younger man had always forgiven him...loved him and accepted him for who he was...as he was...with no agenda...

A warmth spread through him as images of Ianto flooded his head...working in the archives...making the coffee...stood at his shoulder, supporting him with unquestioning loyalty...pressed against the wall as they writhed against each other...bent over his desk when everyone else had gone home...that first time, after the Beacons, leading him down to his tiny bunk...the first time he’d asked Ianto to stay...there was no denying it...no hiding from how he felt about this beautiful man...I tried to lie to you about how I felt...

After Jasmine, when the team had blamed him...hated him...he’d been there...Ianto had held him, soothed him and told him he’d done what was needed...Ianto had understood he wasn’t a monster – not any more...and even in my darkest times, you gave me light...

And slowly the barriers crumbled under the young man’s belief that his Captain was a good man...a man whom he loved with everything he was...and Jack flourished in the light of that love...I never knew this kinda love could feel so right...

With Ianto beside him Jack knew he was a better person...when I’m in your arms, I find myself believing...and he wanted to be with him for ever...we could be anywhere...so I can keep on dreaming...

He pressed gentle kisses to Ianto’s hair, neck, shoulder...any part of him he could reach...when he was with him, the darkness was less oppressive, his demons were kept at bay and he was simply Jack... Ianto shifted backwards, moving towards the touch, a tiny smile curving his lips as he slept...Jack’s hold tightened around his waist...whenever you’re close to me...you’re like the sun – you feel like the sun...

Jack frowned, trying to remember the exact moment when he’d realised that Ianto lit up his world, when he’d realised that the air was less vibrant when the Welshman wasn’t around...colours dulled and sounds were muted...and everyday you’re telling me I am the one – I am the one? – who makes you shine...

He never realised ‘till now that he’d die a thousand times if it kept his Welshman safer...that he couldn’t bear to lose him...God that hurt to think about...he knew that time would come...one day...and I know wherever you want me to, I’ll go... he knew that the young man’s fire and passion would stay with him...he was part of him now...and would always be...and even when you’re not with me, I feel you there – I only have to look and see, and I’ll know where...

Jack blinked rapidly, the tears that filled his eyes as he recalled holding Ianto in his arms as the young man took his final breath, as he promised never to forget him... He hugged the body of the man he loved with all his heart, his heart that was breaking...no, shattering into a million pieces, even as he felt his own life force draining away....when I’m holding you, the world can stop its turning...

Now, as he stood alone on the dark hillside, his warm breath making tiny clouds in the frosty air, waiting for the final piece of his goodbye from this tiny world with all its memories you’re always gonna pull me through...my Ianto...my gorgeous beautiful Ianto...and I won’t be returning...

He hugged Gwen and pressed the relevant buttons on his wrist strap... “...take care of yourself...” he told her, “I have to go, but I’ll be back...”

Gwen smiled through her tears and nodded, stepping back into the warm arms of her husband. They watched as Jack became a shimmer of light and vanished...

As he travelled through the dark expanse of space he knew he’d never be alone again...whenever you’re close to me, you’re like the sun... Some people touch you in ways you never envisage and Ianto was now a part of him for all eternity – their roles were reversed and everyday you’re telling me, I am the one... he could see that eyebrow quirk up, that tiny smile that tugged at the corners of his soft and sensual mouth...almost feel those warm lips pressed against his own...you are the one who makes me shine... Ianto...my Ianto...you’re like the sun...

Jack soared as Ianto lived on in his heart...

End

 

 


zazajb: (happy new year)

Title: The perfect year?
Author: zazajb
Rating: PG-13, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto,
Spoilers : Set early S2, but no real spoilers
Summary: Jack and Ianto’s New Year’s Eve...  Another song!fic - sorry seem to be bombarding you with them lately!Words 1700


Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time
A/N Inspired by the gorgeous song of the same name, sung here by the awesome John Barrowman...one of my all-time favourites and the song I chose for Jack and Ianto in ‘No Place to Hide’ and ‘Lost Inside of You’  Umm, I’m just a hopeless old romantic!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USOHlM_C7vk&feature=related

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & TW_classic , tw_proper, jantosparkle [apologies to those getting this multiple times]

A/N1 A very Happy New Year to all – may you live, love and laugh as never before and I thank you for enriching my life *toasts you all* xxx

 

The Perfect Year

“Was it such a brilliant idea to give everyone else the night off?” Ianto panted as he trailed after Jack’s billowing coat tails, this, their third weevil alert in two hours...sometimes it was like they knew there were going to be an excess of people out on the streets...

Jack slowed, breath causing miniature clouds in the chill air as he waved the Welshman cautiously to the left of an industrial skip, indicating that he would approach from the other side... Spray held at the ready, the two men moved slowly towards the muffled scuffling sounds just out of their line of sight... The weevil turned towards Ianto as he inched forward, the creature snarling as it prepared to charge. Ianto tensed, his muscles taut, heart rate elevated and he steeled himself for the attack, just as Jack crept up on it from behind and plunged the needle into its neck, the creature crashing to the floor as the sedative took effect.

Efficiently cuffing hands and slipping a hood over its head, Ianto glanced up to meet the gaze of his charismatic Captain, smiling softly at the fondness radiating out of those blue grey depths as they watched him at work. Together they heaved the giant brute of a weevil off the alley floor and dragged it back to the SUV where it was bundled into the boot. Jack glanced at his watch, “...five to twelve...shit!”  cursing with feeling, drawing an amused raised eyebrow from the Welshman.

“I was hoping we’d be back in time...” he reached out and tugged Ianto towards him, wrapping him into his arms to kiss him gently. “I sent everyone home in the hope we’d actually get some time to celebrate new year by ourselves...should’ve known better...” he sighed wearily, burying his face into the young man’s neck as the reassuring scent of everything Ianto flooded his senses...

Ianto smiled softly and tipped his Captain’s chin up so he could look into his eyes, “...look around you, cariad...” as he captured his lips tenderly, “no-one here but us...”

Jack chuckled ruefully and sank into the embrace just as the bells began to toll at midnight ring out the old, bring in the new...a midnight wish to share with you... his hands moving to stroke one through his Welshman’s hair while the other rested in the small of his back as he pressed their bodies closer together, their kiss deepening as tongues sought each other to slow dance first in one mouth, then the other... your lips are warm, my head is light...were we alive, before tonight...

Ianto’s soft moan was lost as he was kissed into oblivion...the dingy alley faded from existence...it was just them in their own little world... I don’t need a crowded ballroom, everything I want is here...  and for a brief moment he allowed himself to believe that this thing he had with Jack could actually work... if you’re with me, next year will be...the perfect year...

They came up for air and gazed into each other’s eyes, both aware that without them knowing or planning it, somehow this damp and lonely alley had found them on the edge of something new...something deeper...a relationship beyond where they currently were...

Jack met Ianto’s gaze and caught his breath at the depth of love blazing out of them... His heart beat faster in his chest and his stomach was invaded by a hundred light-winged butterflies...his final barriers were falling – his heart screamed yes...his head – his fear – still wondered... before we play some dangerous game...before we fan some harmless flame... could he allow himself to love this man, knowing he could never bear to lose him...knowing it would break him when he died... I have to ask if this is wise...and if the game is worth the prize... He crushed his lips to Ianto’s, pouring every emotion into the kiss as he revelled in the feel of them soft and sensual against his own... yesyesyes ...

Ianto lost himself to the sensations of Jack’s mouth against his...the intoxicating aroma that was just Jack transporting him to a plane of bliss that was not of this earth...with this wine and with this music...how can anything be clear... His hands raked over Jack’s body, fumbling under his coat to press as close as could...knowing that he was lost – no matter what happened he knew he loved this man with every essence of his being...let’s wait and see, it may just be...a perfect year...

They broke apart, panting heavily, twin arousal straining against the restrictions of their clothing, “I really did come back for you...” Jack breathed against Ianto’s ear, his voice heavy with want... we don’t need a crowded ballroom, everything we want is here... “I turned the Doctor down because I realised that the one I want is you...only you...if you’re with me, next year will be...a perfect year... “...if you’ll have me...” suddenly hesitant...uncertain...

Cupping Jack’s face, Ianto stared into his eyes and smiled softly, pressing his mouth lightly against his Captain’s, soothing the anxious look away with every brush of his lips...

Jack let out a huge breath and wrapped the Welshman into a tight hug... no need to hear the music play – your eyes say all there is to say...

“Why don’t you take me back to the hub and show me what you want...” Ianto’s eyes sparkled invitingly. Jack groaned as a wave of desire washed over him and settled in his groin...the stars can fade, and they can shine...long as your face is next to mine...

They climbed back into the SUV and headed back towards the hub as the sky lit up with flash after flash of brightly coloured fireworks - Cardiff was celebrating the start of a new year. Jack reached across to squeeze Ianto’s hand...he was right where he wanted to be...we don’t need a crowded ballroom...everything we need is here...by his Welshman’s side...if you’re with me, next year will be...the perfect year...

Jack screeched to a halt in the underground car park, killed the engine and reached across to grab a handful of black wool coat before hauling Ianto into a fierce knee-melting kiss that had the young man seeing stars...winding his arms around his Captain’s neck as he surrendered to the wondrous sensations of Jack’s mouth plundering his own...

Many long, enjoyable minutes later they surfaced for air, foreheads resting together as they recharged their lungs. Regretfully, Ianto wriggled out of Jack’s arms and slid out of the car, opening the boot to drag the unconscious weevil towards the cells. Jack hurried to help – the sooner they dumped the weevil, the sooner he could whisk his Welshman away to the celebration he’d planned...he reasoned that late was better than never..!

With their new guest tucked safely in a cell, Jack grabbed Ianto’s hand and pulled him up towards the main hub, leading him to the kitchen where he pressed the young man up against the wall and kissed him senseless, leaving him breathless and trembling when he was finally released... “...we need coffee to go...” Jack whispered into his ear as Ianto leant against him while he regained the use of his legs...

Nodding, his eyes somewhat glazed from the intensity of Jack’s kisses, Ianto quickly made two full travel mugs before their fingers were entwined and he was led from the hub. Five minutes later Jack was pulling him towards the centre of the roof of the Millennium Centre where there was a blanket set out with a picnic hamper at the side... Ianto stopped, his mouth dropping open...this was so unexpected and the realisation that Jack had planned this for him sent a rush of warmth spreading through him...

He looked into Jack’s eyes, drowning in the emotion that radiated from those blue grey pools, the older man holding his hand out, “...dance with me..?” adding a soft, “...please...” when Ianto hesitated.

Smiling shyly, he stepped closer to be folded into his Captain’s arms and they did a slow waltz, the music in their heads...it’s New Year’s Eve and hopes are high...dance one year in, kiss one goodbye... “I wanted to dance with the fireworks overhead...wanted it to be magical for you...” another chance, another start...so many dreams to tease the heart...

“It is magical, cariad...just being here...with you...” we don’t need a crowded ballroom, everything we need is here... as he pulled Jack closer to capture his lips in a searing kiss that grew rapidly more heated as tongues tangled deliciously, teeth clashed and hands raked searchingly under coats, seeking out skin to skin contact... Without breaking their wild kiss, they staggered back towards the blanket, sinking down until they were side by side, limbs entwined as passion grew under the starlit sky...

Gasping, they broke off for air, “...happy new year...” breathed Jack as he reclaimed those pink and kiss swollen lips...and face to face, we will embrace...the perfect year...

End

 

 

 

 


zazajb: (love me)
l

 Title: The one I’ve waited for
Author: zazajb
Rating: NC-17, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Team
Spoilers – none, set mid S2
Summary: A close call prompts some inner scrutiny of how they feel... Words 1330

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & TW_classic & tw_proper[apologies to those getting this multiple times]

A/N This is for [livejournal.com profile] toshiani007     Happy Birthday love xxx

The one I’ve waited for: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b01C-TKX9pI This is such a beautiful song...

The one I’ve waited for

Ianto hissed as Jack used the tweezers to pull the shards of glass from the cut at the back of his head. Pausing, Jack moved to brush his lips gently against the young man’s temple, “...nearly done...or I can call Owen...he is our medic after all...”

Grimacing at the team of road workers with pneumatic drills currently at work inside his skull, Ianto shook his head briefly, “...no, I‘m fine...and Tosh needs him more than I do... He looked into Jack’s blue grey eyes, noting the guilt that dulled the usual sparkle, “...it wasn’t your fault, cariad...and she’s fine...”

“Yea...but she almost wasn’t...if you hadn’t pushed her out of the way...”

“How were we supposed to know that it could morph into a giant ball of razor-sharp teeth when threatened? It just looked like a big purple ladybird...bloody aliens! Anyway, it gives Owen an excuse to cuddle up close to Tosh...it’s a story way overdue, that one...maybe he’ll actually tell her how he feels...” he winced as another prod of the tweezers removed the final piece of glass, the irony of his words not lost on either of them – he and Jack had danced around their feelings for what felt like eternity...it had long ceased to be a relationship of convenience, no longer just sex –bloody good sex! – but neither had pushed to define it further...it just was...and that seemed to suit them...until one of them got hurt and then the questions swirled round in their heads once again...

Ianto bit down on his lip as Jack carefully washed the blood and grime away, replacing the red-tinged water several times until all the scrapes and cuts were clean, pressing soft kisses over every injury as it was revealed. Finally, he dropped a pill into the Welshman’s hand and handed him a glass of water, “...an Owen-Special-One-Pill-Cures-All...”

He watched as Ianto swallowed it and took the glass out of his hand, setting it down on the side, before sliding into the space between the young man’s knees as he wrapped him into a tight hug. Ianto sank into the comforting embrace, resting his head on the older man’s shoulder as his arms wound round Jack’s neck.

“You could’ve died out there tonight...” Jack’s voice was an anguished whisper, slightly muffled as he buried his face into Ianto’s chest.

“But I didn’t...I’m still very much here...” he tipped his Captain’s face up and kissed him softly, lips soft and responsive under his own as he pressed his body closer. Ianto pulled back from the embrace and met Jack’s gaze – those blue grey pools were shadowed with the heavy weight of responsibility and fear of loss... He smiled and brushed his thumbs tenderly over the older man’s cheeks, “...now are you going to take me to bed or..!” The rest of his sentence was lost as Jack’s lips crashed against his mouth and he was kissed into oblivion, tongues tangling excitedly as their blood supply fled south...

Coming up for air, Jack tugged Ianto off the autopsy table and led him to his office and down the ladder where he reclaimed his mouth passionately, leaving the young man breathless, seeing stars and dizzy with desire, his lips pink and swollen... He clung on tightly, his knees too weak to support him unaided as he let out a soft moan at the sensations coursing through his body – no-one kissed like Jack...the knee-melting pulses of pleasure left him tingling all over, his body crying out for Jack’s touch...

 

They surfaced to draw breath and sank straight back into more hot and wet, fiery kisses, fingers threading through hair and raking over bodies, clawing at clothing to tug shirts from waistbands to slide under to warm flesh below as nether regions strained against the woefully inadequate friction of their trousers...

 

Breathing hard, they broke apart and gazed into each other’s lust-blown eyes, wanton desire reflected in twin pools of blue... Jack reached for the buckle of Ianto’s belt and undressed him slowly, peppering every inch of skin with feather light kisses as it was exposed, finally leading him to his tiny bunk where he made love to him tenderly...almost reverently, the realisation of how close he’d come to losing the man that he loved...yes, loved...with everything he was...until they exploded together, every nerve ending on fire, every cell electrified and they flew amongst the stars...

Panting heavily, sweat beading his brow, pressed skin to skin as the intoxicating aroma of everything that was Jack surrounded him, Ianto felt complete... if I should die this very moment...I wouldn’t fear... He knew, one day, their luck would run out and he’d have to leave Jack alone but he wouldn’t change anything of their crazy life... for I’ve never known completeness like being here...

Jack slumped down next to him, tugging him into his arms so Ianto’s head rested on his Captain’s chest, listening to the reassuring thud of his heartbeat as they basked in a post-orgasmic glow...wrapped in the warmth of you...loving every breath of you...

Ianto knew, in that moment, that even if they never said those words...still in my heart this moment, or it might burst... he’d remember this... could we stay right here...’till the end of time –‘till the earth stops turning...

Jack had saved him...saved him from himself after Lisa, when all had seemed lost and he’d been so broken... Jack had put him together again, showing him what wonders life...and love...could hold... wanna love you ‘till the seas run dry...I’ve found the one I’ve waited for...

Jack listened to Ianto’s soft pants as their bodies came down from the bliss of release and he snuggled in close, hot skin to hot skin...all this time I’ve loved you... the realisation kicked in hard – he never wanted to be apart from his gorgeous Welshman...he was the one...and never known your face...

His breath caught in his throat as Ianto entwined their fingers and squeezed tight... all this time I’ve missed you and searched this human race... Here, in Ianto’s arms, was the one place he could be himself... here is true peace...here, my heart knows calm... He wasn’t Captain Jack Harkness, leader of Torchwood Three, protector of Cardiff...he was just Jack... Ianto didn’t judge him and find him wanting...he just accepted him as he was... safe in your soul, bathed in your sighs...

Jack tipped Ianto’s face up to kiss him softly...tenderly...pouring the full meaning of those words he could never say into the kiss... wanna stay right here until the end of time... His arms closed convulsively around the young man as he rolled them over to end up on top of his Welshman... ‘till the earth stops turning... knowing he could never let him go... gonna love you ‘till the seas run dry...

They gazed into each other’s eyes, love blazing out of twin blue pools... No words were needed to know how each was feeling... I’ve found the one I’ve waited for... as their lips met and they gave themselves to the moment... all I’ve known...all I’ve done...all I’ve felt was leading to this... They broke apart, trembling from the intensity of emotion, every touch sparking an electric charge, before losing themselves in hot, wet, frantic kisses, teeth clashing as they crawled progressively further into each other’s mouths, wanton moans reverberating around the room as they celebrated the joy of being alive...I’ve found the one I’ve waited for...

End



 


zazajb: (janto hold onto me)

Title: The Wonder of You
Author: zazajb
Rating: R, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, team
Spoilers : TW s1, Small Worlds
Summary: Jack wonders why Ianto puts up with him... Words 1200

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time
A/N Inspired by the song of the same name, sung here by Elvis in this absolutely brilliant video by [livejournal.com profile] pinkpolyanthus   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ae43G6ZeaUc
 Thank you so much for this *hugs*

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & TW_classic , tw_proper [apologies to those getting this multiple times]

Dedicated to [livejournal.com profile] iantosdreamer46 ...it’s in the title *hugs*

The wonder of you

The drive back to the hub had been conducted in stony silence. Jack had tried several times to explain he’d had no choice...all to no avail...they just didn’t see that sacrificing one child was worth it to save the world... He sighed, the burden of responsibility heavy on his shoulders...Jasmine had wanted to go – she was already part of them, the chosen ones, from the dawn of time...part of the Lost Lands...  

He pulled into the underground car park, the SUV barely coming to a standstill before Gwen, Tosh and Owen were out of the vehicle and heading back up to the main hub, their fury palpable... Jack slid out of the driver’s seat and leant against the door. Sometimes it was so hard being the leader, having to make those terrible decisions, knowing that the right thing to do would cause untold hurt and suffering to another human being...and then seeing that through...that was the hardest part...knowing that no matter what the justification it would always be your fault.. He sighed heavily and made his way slowly after his team.

He arrived in time to see them saying goodbye to Ianto, the young Welshman’s face impassive, no doubt as horrified as the rest of them...he probably hated him now alongside the rest of the team. Ianto turned and retreated into the kitchen without looking towards where Jack stood hidden in the shadows...

The roller door clanged shut behind the disgruntled team and Jack made his way slowly to his office, stopping just inside the doorway, head bowed and eyes closed. He ran through the events in his head...there was nothing he could’ve done that would’ve made any difference...

He jumped when a warm hand rested briefly on his shoulder, that hand moving to help him out of his coat which was then hung neatly on the coat stand in the corner. He stood and watched, tensing...waiting for the question, the why..? It didn’t come. Instead he was pulled gently into the young man’s arms and held tight as soft Welsh vowels murmured in his ear, “...you did what you had to...”

Stifling a sob, Jack buried his face into the Welshman’s neck and breathed in the reassuring scent that was just Ianto... Wordlessly, Ianto rubbed tiny circles on his Captain’s back, offering support and comfort without judging... my Ianto...I don’t deserve you...he held on tight as the gentle touch began to ease the knotted tension in his body...when no-one else can understand me...when everything I do is wrong... He wondered, fleetingly, when it was that this quiet and unassuming Welshman had snuck beneath all his barricades and settled himself so deeply within his Captain’s heart...you give me hope and consolation...you give me strength to carry on...

Ianto pulled back slightly, enough to tip Jack’s face up so he could look into those haunted blue grey depths, “...you did what you had to do...” he repeated softly. “Now let me look after you...” as he brushed their lips together, the lightest of touches enough for the floodgates to burst and Jack’s tears fell unchecked down his face... Ianto held him as he cried, the steadfast anchor in the stormy sea, keeping his love safe no matter how rough the journey ...and you’re always there, to lend a hand, in everything I do...

His Captain’s sobs abated, Ianto cupped Jack’s face and brushed his thumbs gently across his cheeks, wiping the tear tracks away, before claiming his mouth tenderly, lips soft and responsive as he gave himself totally to the man in his arms... Jack’s soft moans were lost against Ianto’s mouth as he melted into the embrace and thanked the stars once again for giving him one Ianto Jones that’s the wonder... even if he didn’t deserve him... the wonder of you...

They kissed and held each other, the kisses sweet and loving, reassurance and support given freely, as they came up for air...briefly, hands stroking through hair before sinking straight back in to more soft and gentle kisses that had them trembling with anticipation when they finally pulled apart. Jack gazed into his Welshman’s eyes as the young man smiled at him, love blazing from those crystal blue pools... Jack caught his breath...Ianto was just so beautiful: cheeks flushed, hair dishevelled and his perfect mouth pink and kiss swollen... and when you smile the world is brighter...

Holding his hand out towards his Captain, Ianto entwined their fingers carefully and led him to the cubby hole in the floor, down the ladder where he proceeded to slowly remove his clothes, covering every inch of freshly exposed flesh with tender kisses... you touch my hand and I’m a King... Jack shivered with desire as Ianto’s lips caressed his warm skin, arching towards the touch as his focus narrowed to just them, just here...and the world outside faded away...your kiss to me is worth a fortune, your love to me is everything...nothing else mattered...

Devoid of clothing now, Ianto tugged Jack to the tiny bed and pushed him down gently, more sweet and endless kisses sending his senses soaring and he gave himself to everything that was Ianto as the Welshman made love to him so completely that he no longer knew where one man ended and the other began until they exploded together in blissful release...

Breathing heavily, Ianto brushed Jack’s hair from his damp forehead and kissed him softly, sliding down his body to settle wrapped securely in his Captain’s arms, knowing that, for now at least, the demons had been chased away. Listening to the reassuring thud of Jack’s heartbeat, Ianto drifted off into contented sleep...

Jack lay warm and content, listening to Ianto’s steady breathing as the young man slept. He had no idea what he’d done to deserve his gorgeous Welshman...his mind drifted, images of the young man flitting through his head...bringing the coffee for the team, the tiny smile as their hands brushed as he handed over Jack’s blue and white striped mug; running, crouched down low, gun drawn as they tracked a lone weevil; helping Jack on with his coat...smoothing the heavy wool over his shoulders, the action intimate and familiar...the look on his face as he approached climax – wild and free and simply beautiful...I guess I’ll never know, the reason why, you love me as you do...and I do love you, Ianto...I do...that’s the wonder...I just need to tell you...the wonder of you...

Tightening his grip on his beloved Welshman, Jack pressed a soft kiss to the top of the young man’s head and closed his eyes...that’s the wonder...the wonder of you...

End

 

 


zazajb: (don't forget me-never could)

Title: I dreamed a dream
Author: zazajb
Rating: R, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto
Spoilers : TW CoE, specifically Day 4
Summary: They say that your life flashes before you in those final moments... Words 830

Warnings: serious angst, CoE character death

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time
A/N Inspired by and dedicated to the brilliant [livejournal.com profile] iolo1234  and her fic To die at your side

I dreamed a dream, sung here by the wonderful Elaine Paige, the video by [livejournal.com profile] pinkpolyanthus  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kX5ypU-P1E 


X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & tw_proper [apologies to those getting this multiple times]

 

I dreamed a dream...

“...and we’re here to see that you’re not getting a single, solitary child...” steadfast, determined...resolute...by his Captain’s side...

“Hey, I like the philosophy..!” Jack was always Jack...

“I gathered!”

That last moment of lightness, of something akin to normality...as much as facing a tank full of aliens who were demanding ten percent of the planet’s children could be considered normal...ok, so Torchwood didn’t do normal in the conventional sense...

And then...the virus...

“You yielded in the past...” the voice of evil.

“If there's a virus, there must be an anti-virus. Release it now or I'll blow a hole in that tank, and we'll all die together...” Still resolute, immovable, loyal...beside his Captain, his love...

“You've made your point now stop this and we can talk!“

 

“You will die. Even now...”

 

“We gotta get you out of here. I can survive anything, but you can't..!”

 

It's too late. I've breathed the air...”

 “You said you would fight...“ The 456 cold...dispassionate...

“And I take it back, alright? I take it all back, but not him..!” Jack cried out, heart-wrenching cries, raw agony ripping through his heart as Ianto fell to the floor...

 

“No! No, no, no, no, no. Ianto? It's all my fault...”

 

Laying in his Captain’s arms watching the man he loved fall apart, the realisation – cold, hard, brutal... I.  Am. Going. To. Die... That was my life...was it what I expected? I dreamed a dream in time gone by...

 

Thoughts of Lisa, a love lost to the metal monsters...when hope was high and life worth living... He was left broken and wracked with guilt when she’d been destroyed...destroyed by the man he was destined to love...I dreamed that love would never die...I dreamed that God would be forgiving...

 

It was all so new and heady...stirring thoughts and feelings that he never knew existed within him...filling him with life and hope...but still he held back – not daring to confess his love...then I was young and unafraid and dreams were made and used and wasted...

 

Then came Abaddon...and Jack was dead...really dead...ice cold...lost, saving the world one more time...this time paying the ultimate price...there was no ransom to be paid...and his heart had been shattered...there had been so much he’d wanted to share with this amazing man...no song unsung, no wine un-tasted...

 

As he’d buried his face into Jack’s coat, inhaling that intoxicating aroma that was Jack, he’d sent a plea to the heavens to bring his love back...a second chance...please...I won’t waste it...I promise... His prayers had been answered and Jack had returned to life – a vision of wonder and his heart had sung when he’d been folded into his Captain’s arms to be held close and then that wonderful mouth had been pressed against his as he was kissed...a kiss full of joy and promise....

 

But the tigers come at night, with their voices soft as thunder...the blue box had snatched his love away...vanishing into the air leaving his world empty, his heart beating without purpose...his existence a colourless pastime...as they tear your hopes apart and they turn your dreams to shame...

 

Each night he’d looked to the stars and hoped Jack was alive...and happy...And still I dream he’d come to me...that we would live the years together...

 

Jack had returned...still handsome and dashing, yet different...a fragility that hadn’t been there before and they had resumed their fledgling relationship...tiny steps, neither daring to say those words so they remained unspoken but they dared to dream...to hope that with this impossible life they led that this could possibly work... Slowly, it grew...

 

Looking up at Jack’s beautiful blue grey eyes, now haunted and filled with tears, Ianto knew that the end was close...but there are dreams that cannot be...and there are storms we cannot weather... It was time...

 

“I love you...”

 

The look that crossed his Captain’s face shrieked agonising pain and anguish...I had a dream my life would be so different from the hell I’m living...

 

Suddenly he understood...for Jack to respond would mean acknowledging that his beloved Welshman was going to die...that this was goodbye and he just couldn’t do it...one more hurt to bear for an eternity...so different now from what it seemed...

 

“You’ll forget me...” whispered, life fading now...

 

“Never could...” the tears spilled down his lover’s face...now life has killed the dream I dreamed...

 

End

 


Amoureuse

Nov. 17th, 2010 07:29 pm
zazajb: (Jack bowed head)

Title: Amoureuse
Author: zazajb
Rating: R, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, team
Spoilers : TW End of Days, DW The sound of Drums
Summary: Jack and Ianto’s thoughts when they’re apart during the year that never was – a way to keep going... Words 1550

Warnings: serious angst, mentions of torture and repeated character death

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time
A/N Inspired by the gorgeous song of the same name, sung by EP & ONJ on EP and Friends 

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & TW_classic , tw_proper [apologies to those getting this multiple times]
A/N Dedicated to all those lovely people who sent me hugs and links on the news my hard drive had crashed and I'd lost all my JB stuff - I love you all very much...thank you - it really did help take away the sting and now I have a shiny newhard drive that I will refill! *hugs all*

 

Amoureuse

Ianto stared up into the dark, silent tears trickling down his cheeks. Jack had been gone a month now and time had ground to a halt, the world now existed only in shades of grey...all things bright and vibrant extinguished with the vanishing of the police box on that awful day...That day when he’d gone from broken to euphoric...and back to broken within the space of a few short hours... His fragile heart had been shattered into a million pieces as he’d watched Jack, radiating that jaw-droppingly beautiful grin of his, disappear from reality – taking all of Ianto’s freshly kiss-awakened hopes and dreams with him...come back to me Jack...please... He’d whispered those words into the darkness every night...to no avail...

Twisting the blankets on Jack’s tiny bunk in his hands, Ianto forced his eyes closed and determinedly replayed the memory he’d re-lived in the cold of each lonely night... Inhaling the fading scent of his Captain he pictured that first time when Jack had taken him gently by the hand and led him down to this very room, kissing him into oblivion as he soothed away his nightmares of the cannibals and the Brecon Beacons...make the monsters go away...please Jack...

Ianto had trembled and shivered, aching with desire and when Jack had finally made love to him, he felt complete...wave upon wave of pure bliss that rolled through his body as never-experienced-before-sensation after sensation swept him away to float amongst the stars... Captivated by Jack’s amazing kisses they’d slipped into sated sleep, limbs wrapped around each other, pressed close together in the limited space...

 

Waking several hours later, Ianto’s bleary eyes had glanced around the unfamiliar room strands of light upon your bedroom floor…change the night through an open door… His breath caught in his throat as he recalled the events of earlier that night…I’m awake but this is not my home…for the first time I’m not alone… He’d made love with Jack…and it had been amazing…simply fucking amazing…

He inhaled deeply, that intoxicating scent of the man he’d secretly desired for so long, never realising just how much he’d wanted him…wanted to feel him pressed in his arms, to feel those lips moving against his own…to feel him…totally… reaching out I touch another’s skin…breathing out as he’s breathing in…

Ianto’s hand trembled as he ran his fingers softly across Jack’s shoulder, following the lines of his body down the side of his toned chest to his waist and the gentle curve of his hip, stilling his hand as his Captain shifted minutely, leaning into the touch… deep inside I feel my soul aflame…will my life ever be the same…

“So, Ianto…you up for round two…?” the hoarse whisper sent shivers down his body and he moaned as a gentle hand reached out to cup his face and tug him into a soft kiss…a kiss that grew in intensity as Jack’s tongue mapped the inside of the Welshman’s mouth and the other hand sought a different, much lower, area of his body… Giving himself totally to the glorious sensations raging through him, Ianto melted into the embrace, kissing back fiercely as their bodies arched together…

Somewhere, deep within the burning passion and searing kisses, Ianto realised his heart was lost…given freely to this sensual and generous lover who showed him what physical pleasure was all about, this complex and larger-than-life man who carried so much pain and responsibility on his shoulders… should’ve told him that I’d do anything if I could hold him – for just another day…

The memory faded and fresh tears burnt a trail down Ianto’s face…for just another day…this love is something I will not forget…when I am far away… Jack…where are you…come back to me please…I need you…I love you… A smothered sob shook his body and he bit down hard on his bottom lip… when I am far away…I feel the rainfall of another planet… He closed his eyes and pictured Jack’s face, eyes blazing with lust, love and desire in equal measure as he pressed their bodies together, every touch like fire on heated skin…I know you’ll come back to me Jack…another planet…

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Gasping painfully as he was flung away from death once more, Jack slumped heavy in his shackles in the grimy boiler room…Ianto…the name escaping his lips in the briefest of whispers, an involuntary declaration of his innermost feelings… He missed him every minute of every day, but that feeling was at its most acute every time he revived after another horrific death at the twisted hands of the Master……my Ianto…I miss you…I love you…

That sentiment had been a revelation…something of a shock to the immortal man who kept his emotions tightly under lock and key, behind more barriers than he cared to mention, built up after decades of heartache as those he cared about were turned to dust and he lived on…alone…I’m coming back for you…I promise…

Somehow, this gorgeous, unassuming Welshman had quietly dismantled every one of his barriers to settle himself deep within Jack’s heart, the knowledge that when Ianto eventually died his heart would shatter into a million pieces just made that love even more breathtaking… Jack’s eyes widened as he recalled that very first time he’d made love to him, leading the young man gently to his bunker to kiss him into oblivion before unwrapping him slowly…caressing, teasing, every touch like fire on heated skin until they were joined completely and they exploded into blissful ecstasy…

The rogue Timelord had discovered more depraved ways to torture and kill than Jack had known existed…he kept himself sane by picturing his beloved Welshman’s face as he kissed him tenderly…coming down from that electric high of release…close together in the afterglow…I remember how his loving flowed… he could almost feel those gloriously pink, kiss swollen lips pressed against his own as they kissed lazily, tongues swirling sensuously…bodies glistening with the light sheen of sweat turned the key into another world...

They’d fallen asleep, limbs tangled around each other, pressed close in Jack’s tiny bed... Some time during the night Jack had woken to the lightest of touches as Ianto traced the contours of his body and they’d made love again...exploring each other’s bodies with hands and mouths, kisses ranging from soft and sweet to hard and laden with want...desire and passion colliding with a growing awareness of something deeper...something special... the first of Jack’s barriers crumbled...

Breathless and panting they’d held each other as their magical night became a new day... daylight comes as we both know it must...soon my fantasies will turn to dust... “I want to stay here...just you and me...forever...” Jack’s soft whisper against his ear sent trails of goose bumps chasing across Ianto’s skin and a delicious warmth spread through him, leaving him tingling all over as he absorbed the sentiment...

Jack had blinked back the tears, knowing that by giving his heart to this young man he risked unendurable agony when he was wrenched away...he wasn’t sure he could face that again... but I would give him anything he asks...if my first love could be my last... Steeling himself, the next barrier held...for now...

Now the tears fell thick and fast, Jack was alone, the only sounds the hum of the engines...he’d resisted...held those barriers for so long...it was hard to take them down...but they’d folded, one by one... Jack hung his head, picturing those crystal blue eyes blazing with a love he didn’t deserve...he’d never told him... I should’ve told him that I’d do anything if I could hold him...for just another day... I miss you so much...every moment we shared is seared into my heart forever... for just another day...

Footsteps sounded outside his prison...those dreaded footsteps... The Master held up a blowtorch triumphantly... “Look what I found, freak...” as he fired it up and approached his captive with a sadistic gleam in his eyes... Jack closed his eyes as the agony flared and his nostrils were filled with the stench of his own burning flesh... his love is something I will not regret, when I am far away... Merciful blackness approached... when I am far away... Ianto...

The Master waited impatiently for his new toy to mend itself before testing the flame on different parts of his body... Jack endured...and loved...and died... I feel the rainfall of another planet...when I am far away... and revived, his Welshman in his heart, carrying him onwards... when I am far away...

     0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Two men, both broken but both resolute...both holding on to the one thing that made sense... this love is something I will not forget...when I am far away...

And they waited for the fates to turn, belief burning hot in their hearts... when I am far away...

End

 


zazajb: (jb beam me up)

Title: Remember me
Author: zazajb
Rating: PG, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto,
Spoilers – All of CoE, set an undetermined time after day 5
Summary: Jack is dreaming... Words 590

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & TW_proper [apologies to those getting this multiple times]

A/N Seriously angsty... I was listening to Josh Groban whilst having a play around on youtube [always dangerous!]  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BB2k01zqIjc as I recall, there was a Jack/Ianto version...so I searched and I couldn’t find it again...and I got a bit frustrated and angsty and this was the result...still pouting ‘cos I can’t find it...but it’s out there...somewhere...

 For [livejournal.com profile] iantosdreamer46 who needs a hug right now *hugs close* x

 

Remember me...

Jack writhed in his tiny bed, sweat beading on his forehead as he twisted his head from side to side... He whimpered softly in his sleep...

He was stood on a hilltop outside Cardiff...on a cold dark winter’s night...the night he ran away...

His eyes shone with unshed tears as he remembered a pair of cobalt blue eyes, love blazing in their crystal depths, locked into his own, before he crushed their mouths together...hot and wild passion coursing through them, and they flew with the angels...remember, I will still be here, as long as you hold me in your memory...

He could almost feel those warm arms around him as he buried his face into his Welshman’s hair, the comforting and familiar scent that was uniquely Ianto...remember, when your dreams have ended...time can be transcended, just remember me...

The wind tugged at his hair and his coat billowed out around him...his gaze lifted to the heavens – the midnight sky and the brightness of the stars against the velvet blackness, I am the one star that keeps burning...so brightly...it is the last light to fade into the rising sun...

The memory shifted to that room on Floor 13...the tank...the 456...his anguished voice “but not him...” A cry escaped his lips as tears trickled down his cheeks... He would remember...the universe would remember as he told everyone he met of a man named Jones, Ianto Jones who took a broken and empty shell and made it into a man...a man who could love again...trust again...and break again as his reason for living lay dying in his arms I’m with you, whenever you tell my story...for I am all I’ve done...

He became the ‘Storyteller’ - worlds over - transports, freighters...spreading the word of hope and endless love...of two lives woven so deeply that nothing would ever part them...remember, I will still be here, as long as you hold me in your memories...

The wind softened, became a caress and he felt soft fingers brush his cheeks, the lightest of touches on his lips and against his ear...I am that warm voice in the cold wind...that whispers...and if you listenyou’ll hear me call across the sky...

The landscape shifted to a vast expanse of sand and the familiar sights of the Boshane Peninsula...he was home...he frowned...no...this wasn’t home...home was...was...wherever he was...as long as I can still reach out and touch you...then I will never die...

He felt a hand entwine with his own...warm fingers sliding between his, clasping tightly...staking claim...mine...all mine...he met those beautiful eyes once more, the message reflected back from his own blue grey pools...yours...forever yours...

Remember, I’ll never leave you...if you will only remember me...

“I will...I promise...I will...”

Remember...I will still be here...as long as you hold me in your memory... remember...when your dreams have ended...time can be transcended...I live forever...remember me...

Remember me...

Remember me...

He woke with a start, panting hard, a single word escaping his lips...”Ianto...

End

 

 


zazajb: (always)

Title: All of me...
Author: zazajb
Rating: PG-13, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, team
Spoilers – mention of KKBB - set start TW S2
Summary:  Jack struggles to express his feelings to Ianto after his return from his travels with the Doctor. Words 1375

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time
A/N This is the companion piece to Unbreak my heart
http://zazajb.livejournal.com/18370.html

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & TW_classic [apologies to those getting this multiple times]

 

All of me

Coat billowing around him, Jack surveyed the city from his lofty position on the roof of the Millenium Centre, taking some comfort from the familiar landmarks and reassuring normality of the view. A complete year lost – of course, for them, it had never happened... He caught his breath as the image of the Master’s cold cruel face swam in front of his vision and he immediately countered with the one image that had kept him fighting...Ianto my Ianto laughing, his head thrown back with abandon, Ianto slowly unbuttoning his waistcoat, their eyes locked together, desire and passion radiating out of twin pools of blue...my Ianto...you captivate me with your resonating light...

He sighed heavily. He’d meant it, that whole I came back for you when he’d looked at Ianto as the team had berated him for disappearing...for leaving them...leaving him...your face haunts my dreams... Now it was like they were further apart than when there was one hundred trillion years between them... He’d asked Ianto for a date...a proper date...and the Welshman had seemed genuinely startled by the suggestion...he’d accepted, but...and that was as far as it had gone and now Jack had no idea how to reach out to the young man who had captured his soul so completely it hurt to breathe with him in the room and not in his arms, without their skin touching...lips that should be crushed to his as they kissed their way to blissful oblivion...you still have...all of me...

Back down in his bunker, he threw himself onto his bed, an echo of the Welshman’s scent on his pillow...your presence still lingers here... Would they ever be together in this bed again? He recalled those long nights after Lisa, after the Brecon Beacons, when Ianto’s nightmares would find him thrashing wildly as he sought to escape the terrors of the darkness...when you cried, I’d wipe away all of your tears, when you’d scream, I’d fight away all of your fears...

They’d been through so much...each had suffered and found comfort – and admit it, you stubborn foollove - in the other, comfort that he craved so much now...these wounds won’t seem to heal, this pain is all too real...there’s just so much that time cannot erase... He needed to feel Ianto’s arms around him, to bury his head into that fragrant neck and kiss those soft and sensual lips...to mould himself against the young man’s warm body, slick and sweaty after their frantic lovemaking...you still have...all of me...

Night dragged into day and the torture began anew...this was not the torture of the Master’s knife, or laser screwdriver or the hundred and one other ways he’d been killed time and time again...this was worse...self-inflicted exile from the one place he desperately needed to be...Ianto’s arms...Ianto’s embrace...Ianto’s heart...my Ianto...

The intoxicating aroma of coffee announced the arrival of his Welshman and he opened his eyes...speak! his brain screamed at him...reach out...touch him...do...something... He glanced up and their eyes met, the hurt in those beautiful blue depths was so raw that Jack retreated instantly...

Long, slim hands placed his blue and white striped mug on the coaster, a plate with his favourite chocolate brownie landed beside it and then he was gone, a lingering scent of ginger and lime shampoo the only remnant of his presence...

Jack cupped his hands around his mug and inhaled deeply, the aroma of his favourite blend merely serving to deliver another slapped reminder of all the ways Ianto was reaching out towards him...I held your hand through all of these years... A sudden sob burst from his lips, tears ran unchecked down his cheeks and he reached out a trembling hand towards the empty doorway as the back view of his gorgeous erstwhile lover and best friend faded from view...

It was many minutes before he was able to regain control, brushing the tears away with his hand and reaching forward to flick on the CCTV... The screen flickered and the image of his Welshman appeared, working diligently in the archives, a picture of perfection in well cut wool blend navy pinstripes, crisp pale pink cotton and a flash of red silk tied in a perfect knot at his throat...he was beautiful...these wounds won’t seem to heal...this pain is all too real...

The day dragged on by, the rest of the team seemingly content to have their Captain back at the helm...Ianto, for his part, was professional in the extreme - polite, efficient...everything an employer should want...I want more...I need you, Ianto...my Ianto...you still have...all of me...

Several times Jack had tried to say what he so desperately needed to get out...it was in his head, he just couldn’t get his mouth to part with the words and his heart broke anew when the hope that welled in the young man’s eyes each time he’d opened his mouth, drowned in disappointment when no words appeared and the hurt reasserted itself once more...there’s just so much that time cannot erase...

They’d had an exceptionally crappy day today – weevils, a crashed Uxtopian freighter, a rift refugee returned and twenty seven hoax calls via the police line reporting strange lights in the sky...their worst day by far since bloody John Hart and his trail of destruction... In the past, after a trying day, he’d find solace in Ianto’s embrace, in the feel of his lips, so soft and responsive under his own, in the ultimate pleasure as their bodies writhed together until their cried release before collapsing in each other’s arms, limbs tangled as they kissed lazily...your presence still lingers here...

He pushed himself out of his chair and pulled on his coat, striding out of the hub through the rain, towards the young man’s flat...I came back for you...if you’ll still have me...

He almost lost his nerve as he climbed the stairs to the first floor and stood outside the front door. Inside he could hear the quiet strains of Ella Fitzgerald...his mind drifted, recalling an evening so long ago where they’d danced, just the two of them pressed cheek to cheek as they swayed to the blissful sounds of the Goddess Ella, sharing soft kisses that grew rapidly in intensity, leading to a night of loving that had taken them to a new level of unspoken commitment...

He took the plunge and knocked on the door, waiting impatiently... His heart sank as there was no response...forgive me Ianto...please... He knocked again...

The door opened and Ianto stood there. He looked so beautiful, tie undone and hanging loose, the red silk swaying with the movement of his body, his waistcoat undone and a tantalising glimpse of soft downy hair peeking through the open top buttons of his shirt... Jack opened his mouth...the words jumbling in his head as he fought to free them in coherent order...and failed completely as not a sound appeared... His eyes sought Ianto’s in panic, filling with tears that threatened to spill any second...I came back for you...

His heart missed several beats as the young man’s eyes reflected everything he was feeling and he held out his arms. Jack flung himself into them, sliding his own arms round his Welshman as their lips met, softly, tentatively...the kiss building rapidly as their tongues sought out the familiar contours of each other’s mouths and they melted into the embrace...

When they came up for air, hearts pounding, bodies trembling, Jack tried again to say what he’d rehearsed in his head...I came back for you...I...I love you...only to have Ianto press a finger to his lips, a minute shake of his head telling him there was no need for words...he knew...his gorgeous, wonderful, fantastic Welshman knew...and then he crushed their mouths together in a searing kiss that screamed out at the top of their voices, loud enough for the whole of time and space to hear...you still have...all of me...

End

Jack’s song is My Immortal by Evanescence:  

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5anLPw0Efmo

 

 

 

 


zazajb: (coe jack tears)

Title: Unbreak my heart...
Author: zazajb
Rating: PG-13, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto
Spoilers – mention of KKBB - set start TW S2
Summary:  Ianto struggles his feelings after Jack’s return from his travels with the Doctor. Words 900

Fic masterlist: http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time
A/N Back to school has been manic, psychology powerpoints and lesson planning has taken over much of my writing time. Hope to have chap 29 of Lost inside of You up over the weekend. Apologies for my tardiness *is sad* xxx

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & TW_classic [apologies to those getting this multiple times]

 

Unbreak my heart

Night fell, finding Ianto again contemplating a ready meal for one and a lonely bed where he knew he’d toss and turn fitfully until the early hours, finally falling into a restless sleep with images of his Captain burning behind his eyelids... His dreams were usually tortuous, systematically tearing any vestiges of hope that their relationship could ever work into shreds, so he woke with a jump to a tear-soaked pillow and a heavy heart...it hurts...make it stop...take these tears away...

Many a time he’d watched the sun rise and begrudged it the simple ability to start each day anew, when his days merged into leaden trudges through endless hours...the pain of having Jack so near and being helpless to change anything... can you feel it Jack? He knew that Jack watched him on the CCTV link in his office, watched as he carried out his duties, his shattered heart hidden behind the facade of crisp ironed cotton and close fitting wool blend pinstripes, neatly finished with a splash of red silk tied in a perfect knot at his throat...I’ve cried so many nights...I need you to kiss the pain away...

He delivered the coffee at regular intervals, his demeanour outwardly controlled and professional...inside screaming for Jack to notice and make a move...give a sign that he’d meant it when he’d asked Ianto out on a date...the date that hadn’t happened...or even been mentioned since that day...unbreak my heart...say you’ll love me again...

Having the older man close enough to touch as he placed the mug on the coaster, the intoxicating aroma that was just Jack drowning his senses so completely he was trembling, his breathing ragged and he scuttled away, back to the relative safety of the archives...

If he’d ever stopped to look back he would have seen his Captain wrap his hands around his coffee and inhale deeply, before reaching one shaking hand tentatively towards the door as silent tears slid down his cheeks...but he never looked back...it hurts so much...unbreak my heart...

That Thursday had been particularly difficult. It was two weeks since Jack had returned and the team were more or less back into a routine again, re-adjusting to having the Captain back at the helm, the atmosphere slowly relaxing, with just one exception...uncry these tears, say you’ll love me again...

Today they’d had several weevils, a crashed Uxtopian freighter, a rift refugee returned and twenty seven hoax calls via the police line reporting strange lights in the sky... All in all, it had been the worst day by far since Captain John Hart had encroached on their fragile little world with his bombs and his swagger, his lip gloss and slightly smaller wrist strap that he over compensated for with a slightly larger ego... Added to that, it was raining...I’ve cried so many nights...

Several times today, Jack had at least appeared to try and say something, his eyes seeking Ianto’s, making contact only to dart away immediately, his mouth opened...but nothing came out and he’d turned away...say you’ll love me again..take away the hurt when you left me...

Ianto rejected his ready meal, closed the fridge and poured himself a glass of water from the filter jug on the worktop, flicking play on the cd player as he wandered aimlessly past, picking up his now well practiced prowling route around his tiny flat...the soulful sound of Ella Fitzgerald caressed the silence, driving it away and bringing a warmth to the cold, still air... Ianto’s heart shattered again as his reluctant brain forced the recall of a memory of cheek-to-cheek dancing, gentle kisses that led to soft caresses, rising passions and tangled limbs...unbreak my heart...it all seemed so long ago...

His fingers moved of their own volition, loosening the red silk of his tie to leave it hanging open at his neck, sliding his hands down his waistcoat to undo the buttons slowly, before moving to the top three buttons of his shirt...he found himself swaying gently in time to the music, his eyes closed...uncry these tears...come back and love me...I need you...

He jumped at a knock on the door and his eyes flew open... He froze...the knock sounded again...

Opening the door he was confronted with his Captain. They looked at each other. Jack opened his mouth...but no words came out...his eyes shone with unshed tears and Ianto suddenly found he didn’t need to hear them...Jack was here...

Ianto held out his arms and Jack flung himself into them, wrapping his own arms tightly round his Welshman as their lips met and they kissed tentatively at first, before rising passion and feral want raged through them and the kiss quickly became hot and messy...tongues probing, searching out those familiar contours...

They came up for air, breathing heavily as their eyes met, tangled emotions reflected in twin pools of blue. Jack opened his mouth to speak, only to have Ianto press a finger to his lips and shake his head minutely before capturing his mouth in a searing kiss that said more than any words could ever express and they melted into the embrace...Jack was back...unbreak my heart...I know you love me again...

End   

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2Rch6WvPJE  If you don't know the song, it's here. There doesn't seem to be a Janto clips version - anyone out there fancy doing one? Beautifully sad song... xxx

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