zazajb: (don't forget me-never could)

Title: Bring him home
Author: zazajb
Rating: R, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Gwen
Spoilers : TW CoE, specifically Day 4
Summary: Jack revives on the floor of Thames House... Words 750

Warnings: serious angst, CoE character death

Fic masterlist:

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time; I also don’t own the song or RyanDan...
A/N Inspired by the beautiful voices of RyanDan and dedicated to [ profile] iantosdreamer46  who’s had a tough week. My thoughts also go out to all those caught up in the earthquake and tsunami... Best effects are reading with song in the background...

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & tw_proper [apologies to those getting this multiple times]



Bring him home

Jack took that first agonising gasp of air as he was flung away from the darkness once again, his hands reaching convulsively for the warm embrace of his beloved Welshman...and then he remembered... The realisation hit him like a hammer blow, driving the breath from his freshly filled lungs and his eyes filled with Ianto...

He knew, without turning his head, that Gwen was sat beside the body of the man he loved...the man he’d let down time and time again but who’d always forgiven him for his failings...who’d welcomed him back into his arms with unwavering loyalty and unconditional love...Ianto...

He sat up slowly, staring ahead as his brain resisted the inevitable...Ianto was dead...killed by the deadly virus...Jack’s heart shattered into a million tiny pieces and his body shook as he moved to sit next to Gwen. She leant against him as he put his arm around her and felt her trembling as tears coursed down her face. He watched as she reached across to minutely adjust the perfect knot of Ianto’s tie...

His vision swam as he looked at the still form...he could just be sleeping...his frantic brain searched for alternatives to the bitter reality... Images flew through his head...Ianto laughing by the railings outside the Tourist Information as they licked ice cream from each other’s fingers on a warm July day, wrapped around him as their bodies stilled after making love in a cornfield – the fragrant summer night air caressing their skin as they kissed sweetly...the world faded away - it was just them, right here, right now...the summers die one by one...

His breath hitched as the memories washed over soon they fly on and on...weevil hunting late at night, sharing that first coffee of the day...the two of them alone in the hub...tender touch and gentle words, the way his mouth curved at the corners with that tiny knowing smile as he leant across his Captain to place his mug on the desk, the feel of those soft and sensual lips as they moved so perfectly against his own, the reassuring warmth as he revived after yet another brutal death, the sparkle in those cobalt blue eyes as they met across the hub, the bliss of stolen moments – a kiss, a touch...during the madness that was their many memories but they were never going to be enough – I wanted more time with him...we’d barely begun to love...

Tears spilled unchecked down his cheeks, he had endless life...was so old...this was so wrong...and I am old and will be gone... I can’t lose him...his silent cry to every God he’d ever known...a plea that echoed through the cavernous makeshift morgue where the bodies lay silent and can take...and you can give... This man deserves to live...he’s given so much of himself – to this earth...let him be...let him live...

I have so much time – yet it means nothing without him...he is my life now...everything that I fight for, the endless day that is my curse...he taught me how to see it as a gift...he gave me meaning...without him...I am nothing...take me...if I die – then let me him...let him live... Ianto Jones belongs with the is everything...bring him home...

I never told him...” the sob wrenched from him before he could stop it...”at the end...I never told him...” he reached to take Ianto’s chill hand in his own, his fingers curling around the unresponsive flesh as his tears flowed...

Gwen took a tiny breath in and turned her head, “he knew...” she whispered, as she kissed his damp cheek, “he always knew...”

She stood carefully and watched as Jack shuffled closer to his beloved Welshman, his other hand now tracing the contours of that beautiful face... As she walked away she heard the anguished I love you...I always loved you...and she knew that nothing would ever be the same again...sometimes the price they paid was just too high...bring him home...





zazajb: (coe jack tears)

Title: I never told you...
Author: zazajb
Rating: NC-17, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto,
Spoilers – All series 1-3
Summary: A companion piece to No place to hide [CoE fixit, sequel to All the time we have]. Jack is haunted by his memories... Warnings character death, serious angstt  Words 800
x-posted jackxianto, jantolution, tw_proper 

Fic masterlist:

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time

A/N For [ profile] jedi_harkness  who wanted a Jack-centric fic using this hauntingly beautiful song by Colbie Caillat  we would like to say thank you to [ profile] pinkpolyanthus  for making the vid to go with it   [lots of tissues required]. Link is here Love you  xxx


I never told you...                                                                         

Another day...another planet...another rooftop...

Same emptiness...same all- consuming grief...

The crystalline lake on the horizon glistened in the light of the setting twin suns as he gazed out from his lofty perch. It should’ve been breathtaking but he couldn’t appreciate its beauty or that of the thousands of tiny rainbows who danced where land met sky...

His thoughts were haunted by his face...that beautiful face that he’d never forget... He choked back a sob as he remembered...I miss those blue eyes how they’d gazed into his own, love blazing from those cobalt depths when they lay in Jack’s tiny bunk, limbs you kiss me at night...pressed close together, sated and blissfully drowsy...I miss the way we sleep... Now his bed was so cold...

Morning came and he was still standing, numb with cold and equally unmoved by the suns there’s no sunrise... His heart ached with longing as he remembered Ianto’s smile...the way that it curved the corners of his mouth, remembered kissing those soft and sensual lips as they smiled into each other’s the taste of your smile...the way their bodies trembled as they moved together, edging closer to the exquisite ecstasy of release, lips just millimetres apart so every breath was shared as they moved as one...I miss the way we breathe...

He hung his head as he pictured those last moments, Ianto’s breathless “I love you” knowing that his life was slipping away... Tears fell unchecked down Jack’s face as he heard his pitiful response...he did love him...had loved him for a very long time...but I never told you, what I should have said...when it came to the crunch he’d bottled, I never told you...I just held it in... Saying those three words would have been admitting that this was goodbye...the end...and he couldn’t...don’t...please don’t leave me Ianto...

His shoulders hunched as the images flooded his head...perfection in blue pinstripe bringing him coffee, the dancing light in his beautiful eyes as their hands brushed as the mug changed ownership, Ianto leant against his desk as they discussed whatever report he had open on his desk – his way of keeping the Welshman close to him for a little longer...both knowing it...both loving the game...and now, I miss everything about you...

The memories darkened...Lisa throwing Ianto across the hub to land in a crumpled heap...the ultimate betrayal by the young man he’d come to regard so highly...can’t believe that I still want you...and after all the things we’ve been through...and yet there was still something about him...after the Brecon Beacons...then the faeries...I miss everything about you... I don’t want to live...without you...

He recalled those heady nights, wrapped in Ianto’s arms, when he could relinquish the mantle of control...when his gorgeous Welshman took him to paradise one kiss at a time, eyes fixed on his Captain’s blue grey depths...I see your blue eyes, every time I close mine... Every breath shared, every touch of heated skin and he knew that being here, safe in the circle of Ianto’s love, that he was just a a man without a make it hard to see, where I belong to... Without Ianto he was a broken man, without purpose...without love...when I’m not around you – it’s like I’m not with me...

The ferocity of his sobs shook his body...but I never told you, what I should have said...he saw himself clutching Ianto’s lifeless body closer, leaning over to press their lips together as his own life force drained away, regret and loss...endless love burning in his heart – love that Ianto would never hear him I never told you, I just held it in... He fell to his knees as the images in his head took him to the floor of Thames he revived...and now I miss everything about you...I can’t go on...without you...

In his head he saw Ianto’s tiny smile, that just-for-my-Captain-when-we’re-alone smile, those beautiful blue eyes blazing with emotion...and he whispered through his tears ” I love you...”

Standing, he gazed out at the sunrise... “It’s beautiful, Ianto...beautiful...”


sendspace link

zazajb: (All the time we have stopwatch)

PDF files for the trilogy of stories in this series [so far!] Thank you for the suggestions on where to go from here. Bunnies have taken them away so we'll see what happens from here, although my focus has now shifted to my reel_torchwood fic as I've little so far! Would be good if you could just let me know if you download any of these pdfs...
Thanks again for reading *big hugs* xxx

Title: All the time we have
Author: zazajb

Beta: The absolutely wonderful: [ profile] badly_knitted 

Artwork by: the amazing [ profile] penny_sieve 
Rating: NC-17, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M

Warnings: mentions of character death end s2 and day 4 CoE
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, team
Spoilers – possible all s1-3 TW, plus radio 4 play The Dead Line: set between TW s2 & s3, directly after Radio 4 play The Dead Line
Summary: Following Ianto’s speech to Jack in The Dead Line, Jack tries to show Ianto he’ll never be just a blip in time

Word count: 23100

Written for TW Big Bang Round 2

A/N Not done anything quite like this before and I have to say I loved every minute! I have to say a huge thank you to my wonderful beta badly_knitted who shared the highs and sent me cookies and hugs when I was doubting my sanity [that’s a lorry-load of cookies and even more hugs!] Thank you *hugs close* Also special thanks to the amazingly talented penny_sieve who took my words and gave them life with her awesome artwork – thank you so much *raises a glass to you*

A/N 2 Hope you

Title: No place to hide
Author: zazajb
Rating: NC-17, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, team
Spoilers – All series 1-3
Warnings - CoE canon character death
Summary: CoE fixit, sequel to All the time we have. Words 11,720

Fic masterlist:

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time

A/N I couldn’t change CoE but I could put it right.

oops - mucked that up didn't I?!!! Try this one      and don't panic when the top title says In the blink of an eye - it is the right one - promise -I just forgot to change the header!!!

Title: Lost inside of you
Author: zazajb
Rating: NC-17 overall, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys, Martha/Tom, The Doctor [10] Lois/Peter, John Hart
Spoilers - TW anything is possible - via memories, inc DW
Summary: Sequel to No place to hide and All the time we have. Sometimes I don't know where I end and he begins...

Previous chapters:

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time
This is for the wonderful wise_n_witty who was there at the very start – little realising the monster she’d unleashed!

With thanks to the wonderful [ profile] wykling  for the awesome banner *hugs*

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September 2012

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